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Is he with someone else or just busy?

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Question - (18 April 2012) 7 Answers - (Newest, 19 April 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

He only reaches out to me when I contact him first and sometimes does not even reply to me. We have been had sex a few times each time he cuddles me ask me about things but then disappears. He canceled last night @ the last min and now I am thinking he is with someone else. I asked he says he is so busy with work but I am so confused? Is he with someone else or just busy?

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A male reader, eddie85 United States +, writes (19 April 2012):

eddie85 agony auntI agree with the other posters here. You are his booty call and he comes around when he is horny.

A man who TRULY wants to be with you will crawl through the Sahara desert to fetch you a glass of lemonade.

I think at some point you have to take a good, hard look at this relationship and ask yourself why are you willing to settle for what appears to be a guy who is emotional distant and only treasures you when it comes to post-coital activities.

Good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012):

Is he with someone else or just busy? Not baby..You are his booty call. He doesnt want you for anything else but sex. You are able when he wants sex...nothing else.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 April 2012):

Honeypie agony auntYou are his booty call?

That would be my guess.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (18 April 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYou are describing classic "guy" behaviour... wherein YOU are making yourself available for s*x, and HE is most-willing to participate with you... AND will do so until and as long as you don't expect or insist upon him doing anything to further any sort of "relationship"....

He will keep making his pen*s available to you as long as YOU make your v*g*na available to him.... (Makes no difference if he is ".... with someone else or just busy?")

Beyond that, you are wasing your time with this guy....

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A female reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] United States +, writes (18 April 2012):

[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony auntHe could be busy, sweetie, but by what you added and the impression I'm getting is that he is a liar..

I think he could be just using you for sex, but forgive me if I am wrong, I think you deserve to find someone who will take the time to chat with you, and to talk with you, not someone who ignores you or only reaches out to you when you need someone.

When someone wants to be with you they won't just talk to you to benefit one's self, that's not even a relationship at all. If I were you I would cut ties with him, and find someone better, just be friends with him if you still want him in your life, I just hope you don't end up hurt, you seem like a good person hun.

-Val.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012):

He's neither busy nor is it anyone else. He's just not that into you really and likes to have sex with you but beyond that he has made no effort at all.

His actions and intentions are pretty clear.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (18 April 2012):

janniepeg agony auntIt could be that he feels that you are too attached to him already and is backing off. The thing you have with him is too casual and he does not have the same sentiments to reciprocate your feelings. He does not need a lot of contact besides sex while you are looking for more than just sex. It seems like the only contact he has with you is when he needs sex at his convenience. You two are looking for different things here.

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