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He's ignoring me & I don't know why

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 June 2014) 9 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have been getting to know this guy and we have gotten close but not really in a full relationship, more like friends taking it slow. I do want more and had hoped for this in the future.

Because he is getting over a break up I am not pushing it.

The last couple of days have been a bit wierd though, normally we speak constantly and are quite honest with each other. But the other day he messaged me on FB and I replied - but then no reply from him. So the next day I sent a greeting in morning but got no reply until late night - although he had been on FB during the day. So I left it a day but it was strange.

Then I sent a message saying hi, again no reply. Then around 10pm random message from him asking why I hadn't been in contact - but I clearly had!!

So I call him on it saying he hadn't replied - I asked him if he was getting PMs (personal messages). He though I was asking if he was getting PMS!!!

I laughed it off but he said "it's ok we are so very different" (we're not) and now won't speak to me. He has ignored my messages last night but was on another social media site chatting with others!

He knows I hate being ignored so I think he's doing it on purpose - I know men can go silent if they don't want to talk. Should I push it and ask again?

View related questions: a break

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2014):

Hun, dont cling to a man you have met online. Do not kid yourself that you was his only online fling, because you wasnt. He wouldnt be ignoring you otherwise.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2014):

you might be coming accross as desperate and needy, and men don't like that.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2014):

Block him and forget him. He is playing games and a timewaster.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (7 June 2014):

YouWish agony auntThe guy sounds like a flakeazoid. He's not over his ex, so he's emotionally unavailable. He's using you to prop up his ego.

And don't phones work in this century? Why not call him and talk voice to voice? Oh, and use an apostrophe when describing PM's. Have you not spoken to him or met him? Is he long distance?

I think you should probably back off of him and see what happens. OR, call him and talk to him live or using voice chat on Skype or video chat on Facebook.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 June 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with WiseOwlE

He is hypersensitive due to his resent break up (OR because he is a hypersensitive sort of fella anyways).

No more messages. And honestly, you are both adults so I don't get why it's through PM on Facebook that you communicate.

IT IS SO easy to misunderstand written words. And with you two being VIRTUALLY strangers it can be even easier.

I'd back off, he is not ready to date. And he isn't looking for a friend but for someone to be there when HE wants/needs it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2014):

People getting over a breakup are touchy, on the rebound, and look for any little reason to sabotage prospective relationships. You were wise to take it slow for this very reason. If you meet online, always expect people to be flaky. I do presume that's how you met him?

Your brief connection was probably just to entertain himself, as he was checking out several others. You got PM's and text messages regularly; because you were very attentive or responsive. He could vent and unload his baggage; or fill his lonely moments.

If you get ignored, it's a good practice to bow out gracefully; and delete or block people after a couple of days of silence. Especially if you've never met in-person.

They'll ignore you for days or weeks, and suddenly message you out of the blue. That means "the well has dried up," and no one is paying them any attention. Don't allow this to happen to you. As soon as they meet others; they'll probably start ignoring you again. This is what I've picked up from posts from other OP's; and it seems to be pretty common.

Don't be over-sensitive, if you plan to meet and message people online. They are often meeting several people at a time. They pick favorites, and ignore people they tire of. That's the breaks.

Should you push it? Never push. Let people come of their own free will, and expect courtesy. Otherwise; p repare to move on.

Don't get too attached to people you meet online. If you've never met in-person; you're just someone they are checking out on a whim, or out of curiosity. They'll stop as soon as the novelty wears-off, or find someone more interesting. That is less likely to happen, if you've actually met several times.

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A female reader, delightful84 United Kingdom +, writes (7 June 2014):

He is aged 41-50 and he behaves like that? They say men never grow up, but he`s ridiculous.

He isnt someone off a dating site is he?

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A female reader, cattycakes United Kingdom +, writes (7 June 2014):

No you should not ask again. You don't need to get another rebuttal, because that is what it would be. He is not a prospective relationship.

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A male reader, bronzed adonis United Kingdom +, writes (7 June 2014):

bronzed adonis agony auntHave you ever met and got to know this person in person? It sounds like it`s all about pm`s and facebook etc.

Find someone else (preferably in the real world), who knows what he wants, has less emotional baggage, and is more mature and emotionally available.

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