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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I am currently on a dating site and I have talked to some of the guys on there and they are very nice and respectful. I like the compliments I get on my looksthey tell me I am beautiful. I try to be honest about what I am looking for and they understand. But lately it seems every time I look at certain guy's profiles I have gotten gotten insulted for no reason. I usually leave a brief message just saying "Hi, How are you doing today?" The first guy responded back using a racial slur saying, "Don't talk to me nig... Go fu..yourself." I reported him and blocked him but I didn'tsay anything back to him. The second guy who claimed to be a model, I contacted him with the same greeting responded by saying, "I don't talk to dogs, and you look like one." So I reported him and before I blocked him I had a few choice words for him calling him narcissistic, but I did it in a way where I didn't have to curse or threaten and I told him that I will take it as a compliment because dogs are beautiful. But all of this made me feel like I was less than and I don't want to look at profiles anymore I just wait for guys to look at mine. There was no excuse for their mean behavior and I know that because the guys that know me know what they said is not true. It makes my self esteem drop because I feel a little self conscious about myself even though I get compliments. Am I right to hate these guys for the way they treated me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey everyone thanks for the comments they are very helpful. I am trying to work on my self esteem more. The site was free to just try it out then if you like it you can pay for it. I have never heard of trolls and gang stalking so I will keep an eye out for that.
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (22 April 2014):
 People are like this online. I've tried online dating (on and off) and I always screened who I contacted very carefully first. More often, I let other people contact me first.
Are you on a reputable website? That's the other thing; free sites like PoF attract all sorts of loons who don't necessarily even want to date, they might just be there to troll.
Anyway sorry this happened, you did the right thing reporting these idiots. I wouldn't hate them. Rather I'd feel sorry for them that they have such little understanding of normal human interaction.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (22 April 2014):
 The guy is a bottom-feeding sewer rat. You did the right thing by not stooping to his level and jumping into the sewer with him. He is not worth the energy you'd expend to return his worthless insult. He's not worth the energy used to speed up your heartbeat in anger.
And a sewer rat does not get to drop your self-esteem.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2014): No you're not right to hate them, that's wasted emotion and completely pointless. It only does you harm, so what's the point?
OP you're talking about the Internet. A misogynistic, racist, intolerant wild west with a few decent people in between.
You have to have a thick skin about comments from people you've never met and will never meet.
If you think that's bad try being a teacher like me, with the kind of online harassment I've had to put up with from students and parents. Apparently little Jimmy's parents were so unhappy with the shit grades he received in my class that it was worth their time not only launching a formal complaint that resulted in them almost being laughed at once they reviewed the work that was graded so badly, but they then launched a campaign, including making a facebook page to have me sacked and somehow found my real profile too.
I thought it was funny to be honest. I don't care what people say online, and little Jimmy's grades have gotten worse too because guess what? I actually graded the original paper generously, now I pick on even the most minor mistake and he gets docked for it, perfectly fairly of course, I've just stopped being generous with him.
I don't hate them, I don't feel anything for them at all and I have more reason to than you because I deal with them in real life, they're just fools and Jimmy is going to have a tough life with parents who don't know the meaning of personal responsibility. No other teacher in the school likes him anymore either because he was always the little uppity asshole who thought he knows better than everyone and now they know he's also a liability too.
OP it was just some angry, asshole loners that you're better off not caring about. You should be thanking them for being so forthright as to essentially tell you they're not worthy of your time.
You'll get that online, it's nothing personal so don't take it personally or there's no point in even putting yourself out there online.
I take nothing seriously online, not compliments not insults, this is probably the only place I care about anything but that's only because I worry that what I say may have an unintended negative impact on someone's life, but even then I don't know them so I can't exactly care in any kind of profound sense either.
Thicker skin, OP, if you can't handle how vicious people can be online then maybe stick to real life dating, and perhaps you should just wait and let them contact you instead.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 April 2014):
 Block, report, ignore. Trolls are everywhere on the internet. If you feel this hurt by a couple of obvious trolls then you need a better class of dating site! I do agree with CindyCares that perhaps you are too vulnerable to be on the dating site.
Spending time trying to work out why they are awful and nasty or even taking the time to hate them is simply put, a waste of precious time.
Block, report, ignore. If the site you are on has this many trolls then you need to remove yourself from it.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 April 2014):
 I think maybe you are a bit too thin skinned for being on dating sites ?..
OP, two crazy guys just out of the loony bin insult you , and first thing you think, rather than, " Somebody escaped from their psychiatric ward today " or " Somebody smoked badly cut drugs today "... is " oh then I must be looking like a dog "?..
These guys sound like lunatics, OP, particularly the first one, in some places he could have put himself into big LEGAL trouble for having called you racial slurs. The model, I can understand that perhaps if he is particularly good looking he sort of expects his admirers to self screen themselves and be in his league ( although,it's just a silly stereotype that all male models must be vain and conceited ) , yet he would not have had any reason to be spiteful and aggressive , he could just ignore you. If he went to all this trouble to spite a woman who says " hi how are you today "... there must be something wrong in HIS head, not in your body !
You did well to report them, but since alas there's not much that the site can do to make sure they don't get on it other lunatics or meth-heads , - I'd try to change site , this mustn't be a very good one.
Or, stay away from dating sites altogether until you don't feel a little better about yourself ? I've got the feelings that you go on there to get compliments, in order to reaasure yoursef, and boost a frail ego, but, you've seen how it is , unluckily you get 25 compliments... then, boom, ONE bad comment is enough to bring you down , and crush your self esteem. If it is like this , i.e. if you get more hurt by the unkind words than boosted by the kind ones, then maybe it's time for a pause.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2014): Bad ugly people do exist and sometimes we are a little shocked at how discusting some people are. Thank your lucky stars that you got to know the truth about these low life forms before they got your profile and conned you. Wow! what a lucky escape, to believe the words of such ugly spirited morons is to insult yourself to such a degree that you treat yourself as the same mind set, their words should mean NOTHING to you because you are not the same. So please please do not believe a single word they say.
I have in my time been walking through the street and had complete strangers say unkind things for no reason at all. Probably because I look happy and have a skip in my step, they try and take it away. I respond with 'Thankyou, you remind me of how lucky I am to not be like you, a sad individual full of poison and I let them know they could never spoil my day' and then I laugh in their face and skip down the road(then I cry) lol. Do I hellers, I shed no tears for scum.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 April 2014):
 When you prolong HATRED for someone, then it's like you are giving them space in your head, rent-free.
Instead, just drop them out of your life, and keep your cramium clear.....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (22 April 2014):
 HATE is a pretty strong emotion. These guys aren't WORTHY of that. They are both pieces of scum.
You did GOOD in reporting them. And your reply on how dogs are beautiful was perfect. And I feel sorry for any lady these guys takes interest in because they (the ladies have no idea what a couple of losers these guys are).
I can understand that it's hurtful to be called names, I find it rather outrageous considering they are on a DATING SITE so getting a message from ANY girl shouldn't be a big surprise. And it certainly doesn't warrant an aggressive or rude reply.
What kind of dating site are you on? Are you paying for the service or it is free? I might consider trying another one.
Anyhow, this isn't about your looks. This is about EVERY dating sites having detestable people on it, be it men or women. I can also understand why you feel weary about contacting any other male after this, but not all guys are douche-canoes likes those two.
There IS no excuse for their behavior. They are JUST sucktastic guys. (with no taste!)
I hope the dating site does something about this, because it's despicable.
Chin up. There is nothing WRONG in how you look. Keep being YOU and being classy. Don't let pathetic guys like that scare you off. But please, don't WASTE any emotions on them either. Don't let crappy comments like that get you down. These guys (the ones with negative comments) are the losers here. The second one "might" be a model but he SURE is ugly on the inside.
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