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... Send *ovial a private message | | | *ovial's profile:hi everyone
I am a woman in my early thirties.
I think what qualifies me is that I love helping people probably because I want to see everyone happy, I cant stand seeing people in pain I always try to find solutions to make them feel comfortable with their situations. I also like being around people socially especially kids are such a joy to spend time with.
All the responses I give are to be used as guidelines not AS-IS while making future decisions. Most of this responses I truly give based on an opinion and lessons learnt from past and present experiences. you are always welcome to pm me if you require my opinion i promise to respond objectively.
Jovial
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| Latest articles: Is it wise to excuse staying in an unhappy relationship by labeling it ‘Complicated’?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: So often we fall in love with someone who is not in love with us and chase after them that we fail to notice those who are chasing after us. Relationships are complicated so are we. Have u ever been asked how is it so far with your boyfriend? Are ...
Is all completely fair in love and war?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: Hello there! Why did someone came up with the words its all fair in love and war? I told my friend my ex-colleague and friend was coming over for supper last Saturday night she said oh really I am so looking forward to meeting him is he married? I...
I don’t know which one is worse space or let’s be friends?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 April 2008: Hello there! It starts with: “Baby we need to talk” - “I think I need a space” or “I think we should break-up”, “Don’t worry we can still be friends”……… OUCH! Dumpee “Honey why? I thought we were tight” Baby please!!! I don’t understand cant ...
Take courage and go back to the ring
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 May 2007: I was in the bus this morning when the two ladies were gossiping about a co-worker who is sleeping with her friend’s husband (who happens to be her boss) behind her back. The other one said “oh that woman is very crazy she thinks living it like that ...
When do you know its time to let go?
No replies yet... 10 May 2007: Few weeks ago a friend of mine found out her fiancée has a child by a girl from his neighborhood and all this were unknown to her, you can imagine the pain she felt, she was and still is heartbroken and perplexed by what the man she loved and ...
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I feel I'm only second best in my man's life. I feel he'll never see things for what they could be. What should I do?
Q. i have been seeing a guy on and off for about 10 years.he says he loves me and i care a lot about him.but he thinks i should be happy with things the way they are.he lives with a woman they share nothing together but the home they made many years ...
A. 8 January 2007: okay someone might say go to church u will meet some fine brothers, and one would say go to upmarket bars u will find fine eligible brothers who are ready to settle, one might say involve yourself in some charities or community upliftment programmes ... (read in full...)
Disatisfied with life. (long but worth it)
Q. I am so confused about my marriage and lost dream, I can't focus on anything else! But, to warn you, I have cheated, my husband knows and he calls me a "classic bored housewife", even though I a very-well educated and have tried to resume studies ...
A. 8 January 2007: i am so glad you are starting to accept he has moved on. you need that to give yourself a peace of mind, you deserve so much better in life and happiness too.
all the best
Jovila... (read in full...)
My bf proposed, but then I had a dream about my ex. I can't get it out of my head - any ideas what this could mean?
Q. a dream is really playing on my mind. Right now i am very happy in a relationship of 3yrs - and my partner has recently proposed and everything is wonderful. My ex boyfriend of almost 5 years left for someone else 3 and 1/2 yrs ago, I am over him ...
A. 5 January 2007: i agree this is your subconcious mind playing tricks on you, maybe is just some unresolved feelings you still had, but not to worry it was just a dream, also try to find it in your heart to forgive yourself maybe u blamed yourself when your ex left ... (read in full...)
Not sure who my baby's father is...
Q. Hi! Help! i ve had a baby recently-it was very much a shock as i never found out til i was 28 weeks gone! but the question is, i slept with my boyfriend on the last day of my period,(unprotected) and the day after we broke up,but 3 weeks later i ...
A. 5 January 2007: eish this is the price we pay for unprotected sex but anyway i think the solution here is to figure out a way to get your hands on anything that u can use to obtain dna match without them finding out, u can target the one you are close to or who is ... (read in full...)
He said he'd break up w/ his girlfriend...then his *wife* called me! I'm so confused and worried about trusting him now.
Q. I had a partner but the relationship was not so good. I met a guy in the work place and we both had the feeling of falling in love at the first sight. We didn't have too much contact but probably 2 minutes talk each time we met. When I went away for ...
A. 5 January 2007: hi there
i think you need to focus on making this work for both of you, you didnt know he was married so dont feel any guilty its not your fault probably this marriage was already on the rocks before you came to into the picture because it was too ... (read in full...)
I feel I'm only second best in my man's life. I feel he'll never see things for what they could be. What should I do?
Q. i have been seeing a guy on and off for about 10 years.he says he loves me and i care a lot about him.but he thinks i should be happy with things the way they are.he lives with a woman they share nothing together but the home they made many years ...
A. 5 January 2007: i think telling him to go away will be the best decision you can ever make, he is totally unavailable emotionally as well, look for someone who will love you and be there for you, someone with the qualities you desire, do not repeat the same mistake ... (read in full...)
I started to feel our love wasn't strong and fell for my gf best friend! What should I do?
Q. I've been in a 2 year relationship with a girl who I became extremely close to, loved her to bits. Sadly as time went on I started to feel a bit as if the love wasn't as strong as it used to be and I'd been noticing more girls around. Unfortunetly I ...
A. 5 January 2007: i think you are 100% straight, the trick is your guilty concious that is eating you up, tell your ex what is happening between you and her friend, i believe the truth will set you free. good luck... (read in full...)
Should I wait and hope things change or shouls I just end it now?
Q. I met a man in August while out with friends. By the end of the night, one thing lead to another and I spent the night with him. i didn't hear from him again until September when he called because he had found the jewellery i had left at his ...
A. 4 January 2007: hi
i think the best thing for you right now is to get out of this relationship bcos what u want in a relationship is definitley not what u are getting right now, this guy is not willing to commit himself to anything other than his business, so its ... (read in full...)
He told me to be more controlling... then he went quiet on me!
Q. I Need help..well me n my boyfriend have been dating for about a year and hes always been pretty quiet.i would always have to think of things to talk about n what not..i love him and he tells me he loves me but just a few weeks ago he told me he ...
A. 3 January 2007: hi there
it sounds like he has lost interest in this relationship, look at it this way he wants you to behave like his ex what is that? maybe he does find controlling women being sexy but mentioning his ex to the equation is never good, i think he m... (read in full...)
Disatisfied with life. (long but worth it)
Q. I am so confused about my marriage and lost dream, I can't focus on anything else! But, to warn you, I have cheated, my husband knows and he calls me a "classic bored housewife", even though I a very-well educated and have tried to resume studies ...
A. 3 January 2007: i am so sorry i dont know what happened to me i just snapped and felt so much guilty afterwards,unfortunately once u send a post u cant undo, i just didnt want u to dwell on that pain, i know i cant relate but i can imagine how u feel. its true i ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Happy Xmas to everyone, from DearCupid!
Q. It has been a busy year here at DearCupid! We celebrated our 2nd birthday in November and had our 20,000th question and 70,000th answer published... Thanks to everyone who contributes to the site: Those who ask questions, those who answer, and ...
A. 21 December 2006: ohhh, shandypop your family is such a weirdo but girl i envy that crazyness it really sound like you guys will have a full blast.
i moved into my new house this month so im having loads of friends coming over at chrismas to warm it up and bless it t... (read in full...)
I don't trust him ewhen he goes out to drink and I get stressed out. How can I stop this?
Q. I am unable to remain calm when my boyfriend goes out. It is a problem that I've been having for quite some time, I think a lot of it has to do with my own insecurities and low self esteem (something that I want to work on) but I need some advice ...
A. 21 December 2006: u said it well that he likes going out to drink and stay until late, and u on the other hand is not keen in this behaviour. i think u guys might be incompatible thats why its hard for u to trust him. try to keep ur mind busy with other things like ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my girfriend for an old flame?
Q. My GF of 3 years is perfect except that she has always had problems with physical intimacy. I've brought it up, but things haven't improved. The old flame does it for me in a way my GF never has, but I don't know what I'd be getting myself into ...
A. 21 December 2006: i think that is the risk u have to be willing to take. u have something good right now but not satisfactory, no one can blame u under the circumstances, maybe u need to base ur decision on what u really need in a relationship, weigh the ... (read in full...)
Disatisfied with life. (long but worth it)
Q. I am so confused about my marriage and lost dream, I can't focus on anything else! But, to warn you, I have cheated, my husband knows and he calls me a "classic bored housewife", even though I a very-well educated and have tried to resume studies ...
A. 21 December 2006: now i see why the poor guy called the police, u are extremly rude and unkind with ur words. i hope one day u will change and start appreciating what u have and not insult and pushes people who cares about u away. we responded because we cared and ... (read in full...)
Disatisfied with life. (long but worth it)
Q. I am so confused about my marriage and lost dream, I can't focus on anything else! But, to warn you, I have cheated, my husband knows and he calls me a "classic bored housewife", even though I a very-well educated and have tried to resume studies ...
A. 21 December 2006: now i see why the poor guy called the police, u are extremly rude and unkind with ur words. i hope one day u will change and start appreciating what u have and not insult and pushes people who cares about u away. we responded because we cared and ... (read in full...)
Disatisfied with life. (long but worth it)
Q. I am so confused about my marriage and lost dream, I can't focus on anything else! But, to warn you, I have cheated, my husband knows and he calls me a "classic bored housewife", even though I a very-well educated and have tried to resume studies ...
A. 20 December 2006: why do u ask for advice but yet u are so negative and unwilling to change? i think ur anger is already finishing u, if that uk guy was really mocking u and pretends to be ur friend? right now u are giving him all the satisfaction. if he is heartless ... (read in full...)
Disatisfied with life. (long but worth it)
Q. I am so confused about my marriage and lost dream, I can't focus on anything else! But, to warn you, I have cheated, my husband knows and he calls me a "classic bored housewife", even though I a very-well educated and have tried to resume studies ...
A. 20 December 2006: Hello there
I am very sorry for everything that went wrong in your life, I realized what u have is a very serious condition which need a professional like dagwood said. However I will try to give answers where I can it might not what u were real... (read in full...)
I'm scared to get back together with him - what if I get hurt again?
Q. My ex for the past 2 months nearly now, has just confessed to still loving me and that he was gonna get back with me until he assumed something happened between me and his friend.. but it didn't and i also proved myself RIGHT. sooo... after his ...
A. 19 December 2006: Hi there
I think this is a risk u have to take, getting hurt or not is part of the deal, what makes u think u will get hurt did this happened before? This time it might be for real, maybe a little break just to clear ur head might come handy for ... (read in full...)
Calling me names like skank/ slut are his way of joking...How do I handle his idea of 'joking'?
Q. Hey there, Well my boyfriend and I fought a few times one night while we were drinking and then it carried on through the next day. Ever since then, he's been sligtly rude to me and sometimes acts like he knows EVERYTHING. He jokes around with me,...
A. 19 December 2006: Hi
Learn to talk that’s how, tell him u don’t appreciate his jokes they might be fun for him but to u are insulting, I mean really u don’t deserve such treatment even if it’s a joke. Stop making excuses for him how do you know if he is really joki... (read in full...)
He's moved closer to me-about 2 hours away but I want him with me..here..all the time! what should I do?
Q. hi. so i havent asked anything in a long time but now im in a pickle. see me and my boyfriend are kinda in a long distance relationship. we have been together for almost two years. and about for the past 6 months have been through long distance. i ...
A. 19 December 2006: Hi
I think u haven’t made peace with ur having a long distance relationship. The most important thing for an ld to work is open communication and trust, trust, trust. The feeling of wanting him next to u its normal, but under the circumstances is i... (read in full...)
Just tell me if she misses me like I miss her!
Q. My fiance broke up with me in the end of july, we had been toghether for 5 years and engaged for a year and half would be two yrs on dec 24. At one point she broke up with me before 2 yrs ago for two months and then begged for me to come back. Now ...
A. 19 December 2006: Hi
Im soory for ur misfortune but things like this are part of life, u need to accept ur ex has moved on and she is trying to make a new life for herself regardless of who she hook-up with, its definitely non of ur business. Im sorry to sound rude... (read in full...)
Just tell me if she misses me like I miss her!
Q. My fiance broke up with me in the end of july, we had been toghether for 5 years and engaged for a year and half would be two yrs on dec 24. At one point she broke up with me before 2 yrs ago for two months and then begged for me to come back. Now ...
A. 19 December 2006: Hi
Im soory for ur misfortune but things like this are part of life, u need to accept ur ex has moved on and she is trying to make a new life for herself regardless of who she hook-up with, its definitely non of ur business. Im sorry to sound rude... (read in full...)
Am I stupid for trying at this relationship?
Q. 3-4 weeks ago my partner bought a bouquet of flowers for a sales girl who sold him an watch. he is still denying it or that he even knows her even though i have proof he did i know through seeing the flowers bill and ringing this girl up, al...
A. 19 December 2006: I think one thing u need to learn not to do in a relationship is snooping, as stupid as it sounds but some things are better not known especially if u know ur partner is the active type. He might have bought the flowers for her bcos he wanted her ... (read in full...)
Does he really love me?
Q. im in love with a guy who already has a girlfriend.he says he loves me but cannot leave his girl.i accepted him and things were going good but now after few months he is having constant mood swing.does he really love me?what should i do?...
A. 19 December 2006: Hi dear
Is he still seeing his gf? Probably he just want to switch ur excitement off so that he can spend some time with her. Mood swings are never a symbol of love, I think u should leave him bcos relationships that u know u are the other woma... (read in full...)
Is this a stain on my character?
Q. Hello to all the wise advisory people out here! This is going to be a rather long post, I'm afraid, because it's been bothering me for a while, and I don't know whom else to talk to about it, under anonymity. I'm sorry to all those of you who do r...
A. 19 December 2006: hi sweetnes
I don’t think ur character has any stain, but if u keep believing that obviously u will feel like that. Remember people always judge other people its norm but unfair and anyway who said life is fair unfortunately that’s how life goes... (read in full...)
Recently he seems to have lost intrest in me..what can I do to spice things up?
Q. i have been with the man for almost 6 years and we have had our ups and downs and been thru alot lately with everyday life,we use to have the best sex life ever, then recently he seems to have lost intrest in me, like maybe im not like i use to be ...
A. 19 December 2006: hi there
communication is the key to a healthy relationship and u guys seem to have lost it, u might be feeling insecure about something which is non-existence, explore all the possibilities that can be a source of all this fading interest on you,... (read in full...)
Do I get married a second time ...or not? Any advice?
Q. Sir, I am in dilema whether i have to go for second marriage or not. Regards...
A. 19 December 2006: i think u can get married for the second time i really dont see anything wrong with that. like irish said this time it can really work than the first time bcos u had the experience of what went wrong in the first one, and if it was ur fault well now ... (read in full...)
Nasty fella just with me for sex?
Q. Whenever my boyfriend gets wasted he ends up arguing with me and splitting up with me. He apologises the next day and acts like nothing happened. But i hurt for ages after. On sat night, he was downing shots of wine in a game, and it brought a real ...
A. 19 December 2006: it is really sad how u cant see this guy for who he really is. he might have beed bad on saturday night only but the things he said and not being able to apologise and his denial i wouldnt dare blame the alcohol and living arrangement if i were u, i ... (read in full...)
Nasty fella just with me for sex?
Q. Whenever my boyfriend gets wasted he ends up arguing with me and splitting up with me. He apologises the next day and acts like nothing happened. But i hurt for ages after. On sat night, he was downing shots of wine in a game, and it brought a real ...
A. 18 December 2006: hi honey
im sorry for everything u are feeling right now no woman deserves to be talked to or hurt like that, i know i cant tell what to do, however what i can say is that leave the player he really doesnt deserve someone so genuine like you, it s... (read in full...)
Fiance or best friend?
Q. I am engaged to my long time love of 10 years, but I am in love with his best friend, who has recently pronounced his love to me. we want to be together, because we have felt this way for years now, but don't want to hurt my fiances feelings or he ...
A. 18 December 2006: like willy said girl u need to come clean, u had ur fun behind his back now its time to clean-up. i know there is no easy way to do this but dont humiliate him and tell him about ur new relationship in the presence of ur new bf it will be really ... (read in full...)
I want commitment, but am scared of pushing her away
Q. Hiya, I've been reading about other people's experiences and hope someone has a few ideas for me. My girlfriend of 3 years went travelling last September for a year and we decided we'd try and stay together but neither of us realised how har...
A. 18 December 2006: Hiya
Im sorry u have to go thru a terrible break-up but this is actually normal, you love her too much to just let her go but u have doubts with her willingness to go along with this break. Let me give u few scenarios lets say she says its unfa... (read in full...)
I'm ready for the next step with Pete - but what do I do!
Q. Hi Cupids I need help.... I've been dating a wonderful guy, Pete, for 9 months whom I trust and love deeply. We have only ever kissed. I have been at an all girls boarding school for my entire education and have therefore have had virtually no ...
A. 18 December 2006: i think the first thing before making any moves on your boyfriend, u guys need to discuss the sex issue first find out how he feels about it, if he wants to do it sooner or rather wait this is important for u guys as an open communication is what u ... (read in full...)
She wants kids - I don't.
Q. im 22 been in relationship 1 yr and i think she wants a baby? i told her from start i dont ever want kids and am saving for vasectomy i love her but am i a bad person for not wanting kids?...
A. 18 December 2006: no, although u are still very young to take a decision like this but at the same time knowing what u want in life is not bad at all, i personally applaud u for ur honesty from the start of the relationship. i gez she thought as time goes on u will ... (read in full...)
Who do I choose..my current bf or the father of my son?
Q. what is the diffrence or what you will choose between the person which you really have a feeling of love and to stay with him ( which my bf now ) or you want to stay with someone else which your past and a father of your son that you feel only pity ...
A. 18 December 2006: I feel that it is completely up to you who you stay with, the thing is u didnt give much about the relationship with the father of your son, if u had a child with him in a relationship or not, the fact is it didnt work and its a pity that there is ... (read in full...)
Happy Holidays agony aunts! Thank you Dear Cupid!
Q. I would like to wish everyone on this website HAPPY HOLIDAYS! All the discussions have really helped me a lot, and I have gained much understanding about love and relationships from reading everyones answers and the different perspectives...
A. 13 December 2006: what a good thought, for a moment no one has to worry about anything but be excited for the holidays. thax dear enjoy urs make sure u dont make unreachable new year resolutions luvya all.... (read in full...)
I'm stuck in the middle of my friend cheating on my other friend!
Q. HI all.. This is really wierd...but I just really want to hear someone's opinion on this: (I'm sorry it's so long) There's this guy who's been one of my closest friends for more than 8 yrs, we met when we were 16. He's one of my best friends, ...
A. 13 December 2006: not all men are like that, people change all the time unfortunately some change to worst so in this case he is just making some wrong choices, maybe one day he will realise the pain he is causing and go back to his usual self.
i think to you this... (read in full...)
He pushes me away and yet..he still looks at women every where we go and its killing me! WHat can I do?
Q. i am really sufferingi spend every night in tears. last year i met a wonderful man and we had a baby girl though problem is we dont have sex hardly ever, he is honest to me and i do trust him but i am jelous and paranoid because he told me how he u...
A. 11 December 2006: eish sister u seem to have done all u possibly can to seduce him and nothing worked. My gez is he told u his sexual history just to show u he does love sex but recently he just cant get it up for whatever reasons, instead of feeling insecure bcos of ... (read in full...)
Something happened earlier in our relationship that still bothers me and I can't ever forget it. How can I let it go?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been dating for almost 11 months now. he loves me, i can tell. but something happened earlier in our relationship that still bothers me and i can't ever forget it, how can i let it go? see, about 3 to 4 months into our ...
A. 11 December 2006: hi there
im sorry u have to go thru this on ur own, but as u decided to let it go and move on as hard as it is I think u need t learn to forgive and move past it, otherwise it will keep on eating u inside and one day it will finish u even... (read in full...)
He changes his mind a lot..so .what about his promise that he will marry me, should I trust him?
Q. my bf is good in promising a little promise he do it, but a big promise like having a plan what we gonna do in the future in life that' never happen yet. im not the one who always start with hope or promise or wish he is the one he is the one who ...
A. 11 December 2006: hi there
I think this is a very delicate situation u are in; question, have u ever tell him that it hurts u when he keep changing his mind about ur future together? Is he aware this is breaking the trust u have in him? He might be serious he want... (read in full...)
We're both 13 and we've had protected sex. I'm scared of pregnancy and STD's though. Any advice?
Q. im 13 should i have protected sex with my bf and we both luv each other i mean its been 3 months he is 13 and we r both ready for anything im just scared ill get pregnant or will get stds...
A. 11 December 2006: although im glad u used protection but am not enthusiastic about ur sexual activities at this stage, u are still a child u should be worrying about what u will get for ur next birthday, movies, tv games etc, not getting pregnant or std's enjoy being ... (read in full...)
Does he want me back and is he realizing that he let something good slip away? Any advice?
Q. My ex and i broke up about a month and a half ago. Him and i were talking to nite and there was alot of flirting going on between us. Like when were talking we were holding hands and weaving our fingers though each and others we hugged alot l...
A. 11 December 2006: i dont think u should raise ur hopes now it is still too soon, it might be true he wants u back and it might turn out not to be true. he said he didnt love u and he didnt want a gf, all of a sudden he wants both? mmmmm no, i dont think so, instead ... (read in full...)
She seems shy since i've asked her out... how do I get closer to the girl I love?
Q. i asked a friend to the ball. she said yes yesterday. but today she asked if it's ok to go with her girl mates instead coz she went with a boy last year and this time wants to be with her mates. she said it nicely and asked if it's ok. i had no ...
A. 8 December 2006: maybe as ur friend she was just shocked as she didnt expect u will ask her to be her date, which means u will need to take this slow dont push her u might be lucky and she decides to change her mind. maybe what can help u is to tell her the truth ... (read in full...)
How do I enlarge my penis size?
Q. i am looking for a way to make my dick bigger i am 22 and it is about 5-6 inches and i am looking but dont know what to do about it can u help me ?...
A. 8 December 2006: that is a normal size, know how to use it and all shall be well... (read in full...)
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