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... Send *ovial a private message | | | *ovial's profile:hi everyone
I am a woman in my early thirties.
I think what qualifies me is that I love helping people probably because I want to see everyone happy, I cant stand seeing people in pain I always try to find solutions to make them feel comfortable with their situations. I also like being around people socially especially kids are such a joy to spend time with.
All the responses I give are to be used as guidelines not AS-IS while making future decisions. Most of this responses I truly give based on an opinion and lessons learnt from past and present experiences. you are always welcome to pm me if you require my opinion i promise to respond objectively.
Jovial
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| Latest articles: Is it wise to excuse staying in an unhappy relationship by labeling it ‘Complicated’?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: So often we fall in love with someone who is not in love with us and chase after them that we fail to notice those who are chasing after us. Relationships are complicated so are we. Have u ever been asked how is it so far with your boyfriend? Are ...
Is all completely fair in love and war?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 April 2008: Hello there! Why did someone came up with the words its all fair in love and war? I told my friend my ex-colleague and friend was coming over for supper last Saturday night she said oh really I am so looking forward to meeting him is he married? I...
I don’t know which one is worse space or let’s be friends?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 April 2008: Hello there! It starts with: “Baby we need to talk” - “I think I need a space” or “I think we should break-up”, “Don’t worry we can still be friends”……… OUCH! Dumpee “Honey why? I thought we were tight” Baby please!!! I don’t understand cant ...
Take courage and go back to the ring
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 May 2007: I was in the bus this morning when the two ladies were gossiping about a co-worker who is sleeping with her friend’s husband (who happens to be her boss) behind her back. The other one said “oh that woman is very crazy she thinks living it like that ...
When do you know its time to let go?
No replies yet... 10 May 2007: Few weeks ago a friend of mine found out her fiancée has a child by a girl from his neighborhood and all this were unknown to her, you can imagine the pain she felt, she was and still is heartbroken and perplexed by what the man she loved and ...
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My guy is in the army and his mum hates me and keeps making up stories about me to him! How can I win here?
Q. hay guys! ive been going out with this lovely guy for 1 yr! hes perfect for me! now hes just gone away with the army! missing him but everythings fine with us its just his mum! she hates me... she keeps lieing to him and telling him ppl have told ...
A. 10 April 2007: hi
leave momma's baby alone, he is making excuses because i think he likes momma's choice, dont let yourself to be treated like an after thought. its hard but move on and find someone more mature like yourself.
Jovial... (read in full...)
My guy is in the army and his mum hates me and keeps making up stories about me to him! How can I win here?
Q. hay guys! ive been going out with this lovely guy for 1 yr! hes perfect for me! now hes just gone away with the army! missing him but everythings fine with us its just his mum! she hates me... she keeps lieing to him and telling him ppl have told ...
A. 10 April 2007: hi
leave momma's baby alone, he is making excuses because i think he likes momma's choice, dont let yourself to be treated like an after thought. its hard but move on and find someone more mature like yourself.
Jovial... (read in full...)
He says I'm fat, wants to leave me and wants to have sex with other women... but I love him, what do I do?
Q. hi me and my bf are together for 8years now.a year ago he started to swear at me then he changed alot towards me he got very rude and had a bad temper, he gets angry quickly. He told my yesterday he actually wants to leave me coz its my fault he ...
A. 1 March 2007:
Believe me you do wanna loose him. take it as good riddens, let him go. He doesnt deserve you.... (read in full...)
Thought the child would bring us closer together... but I was wrong
Q. Hi ppl, i do need some help with this ugly situation i'm in. I've been married to this man for the past 3 years. In the beginning everything was fine and he looked quite perfect to me. After some time we had our problems, caught him in a big lie ...
A. 28 February 2007: i think this husband of yours has a lot of issues to deal with he is very immature and insensitive. he acts like he knows what a family is but he doesnt know the meaning of the word because you and this baby have become his immediate family which ... (read in full...)
She's worried that taking on my 3 kids will be too much for her... What can I do to assure her everything will be ok?
Q. Well here goes. I met this woman about one year ago and we hit it off immediately. I mean we have everything in common. It wasn't long before we fell in love. I am a 40 yr old divorced man and I have custody of my three children ages 15, 8 and ...
A. 28 February 2007: hi
i think this is a good woman you have here. its good that she shared with you her fears because it means she is willing to try but will need a lot of support from you. imagine she had kept it to herself and you are surprised when she cant hand... (read in full...)
He was my one true sweetheart but that was over 10 years ago! We are still in contact but hes married, I love him more now than ever, what should I do ?
Q. Hi,I HAD to talk to someone about this because I am so confused and devastated. I was only 16 but found the love of my life and he had said I too was his first true love and I never stopped loving him. The only reason we broke up was because his mom ...
A. 28 February 2007: Dear Melissa
this man might be the love of your life but surely you are not his. in my opinion he had weighed the two of you and she is the one he had chosen to prove that he cheated on her with you before and will still continue doing that if you ... (read in full...)
How can I get my guy to stop chatting other women up!!?
Q. hi me and my boyfriend are always argueing over stupid things but the things he dose hurt me very deeply but i dont want to loose him how do i get him to stop chatting other women up? please help me ...
A. 28 February 2007: you are still very young to worry about keeping this guy. at your age this should be a lot of fun not a problem. i dont know how old is your guy but as he is chattingup some women i reckon he is old to be dating a young girl your age because you are ... (read in full...)
Shes asked for a divorce, But also needs money, I want her back, dont know what to do!?
Q. Separated,no children,12 yr friendship,10 yr relationship,4 yr in marriage. We were best friends, we studied together for sometime. My W confides in friends, Mother and diary but never me. I was insecure,jealous,overpro...
A. 28 February 2007: hiya
i think lack of communication has taken its tol in this relationship, and to save this you might need counsilling to go forwward, so much pain had been caused, she does things with her own head and you fight back with the most hurtful thin... (read in full...)
Will this feeling of missing her disappear ? it was only 2 weeks ago we split!
Q. Hi. My ex and i broke up 2 weeks ago after a 3 year relationship. It was a mutual decision to split and we both feel we did the right thing. The problem is that i spoke to and saw her for the first time today since we split and I started to get the ...
A. 28 February 2007: after a breakup life seem very lonely if u were genuinely inlove with the person whether the decision was mutual or not the feeling is the same. the good thing is your mind is in control of the situation so the lesser you dwell on the memories of ... (read in full...)
I really love her, but want a future, I need to know which path to take!?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me so I could pursue my dreams/ambitions/career/life. She tells me she still loves me but wants me to be happy. I trust and believe her and her motives. I still love her more than anything. If I left, in a perfect world, ...
A. 28 February 2007: this are just two things you cant compare because you cant live without the other. i take it you guys decided against a long distance relationship? why dont you try that if u love each other so much there so many good testimonies of success ld ... (read in full...)
We split 2 months ago, he wasnt ready to settle down, now we are in contact again, I love him but dont want to get attached!!!
Q. me again been here before. basically i been split from my boyfriend for 2 mounths after a 2 year and a half year relationship. He wanted me to wait for him till he was ready to settle down, in the end i said i wouldnt put my life on hold for him. ...
A. 28 February 2007: i really understand your fears. he maybe genuine with his proposal and he might not. which means you need to look after your feelings, i think tell him how you feel about all this and you suggest you meet somewhere in a coffee house where you will ... (read in full...)
Is it too soon to be engaged after only 2 months!!?
Q. Is marriage (or engagment) too soon, if you've been in a relationship for only two months ? She is 19 and Hes's 27....
A. 28 February 2007: i think its a bit too hastey but thats my opinion. just make sure you dont rush into the marriage itself, give yourself time to discover each other and to adjust to this relationship as thats the most important thing. ... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend but she hasn't given me any reason to trust her, what should I do?
Q. I love my girlfriend and she loves me, so she says, but I cant tell if I should trust her or no. She hasn't done anything for me not to trust her but she hasn'1 given me a reason to trust her niether. What should I do?...
A. 27 February 2007: i agree with the other aunt. another reason can be caused by insecurities emerging from your background like any history of abuse, being raised by a single parent while the other one didnt really care what happens to you, somebody that you know ... (read in full...)
We should never have split up! Help... what should I do now?
Q. Basically we are one year down the line, and I have broken up with the girl again........again not being able to talk things through, and taking the silly option of splitting........... Well its one year on and its happened again. I star...
A. 27 February 2007: i gues you feel so much better now being so honest about how you feel without any fears of letting out, if u were really a closed book i am sure this was your first communication lesson. i hope u have learnt your lesson from this one. close this ... (read in full...)
We should never have split up! Help... what should I do now?
Q. Basically we are one year down the line, and I have broken up with the girl again........again not being able to talk things through, and taking the silly option of splitting........... Well its one year on and its happened again. I star...
A. 27 February 2007: hi Jude
iam sorry things turned out this way. you tried to make it work but her wounds are still fresh, so i gues its time to move on, it is understandable wanting her back because you love her but she hasnt forgiven you for all the things that went... (read in full...)
My guy is in the army and his mum hates me and keeps making up stories about me to him! How can I win here?
Q. hay guys! ive been going out with this lovely guy for 1 yr! hes perfect for me! now hes just gone away with the army! missing him but everythings fine with us its just his mum! she hates me... she keeps lieing to him and telling him ppl have told ...
A. 27 February 2007: hi there
im so glad things turn out this way. you are very lucky to get a man who can standup to his mother. congratulations!!!!!!!!... (read in full...)
My gf has been ignoring me for days except for one text saying she'll love me forever! Should I keep trying to contact her or leave it??
Q. Hello, I guess I need some advice. I met this great girl in November last year and everything between us was fantastic and we both fell in love very quickly. She had a lot of issues at home with a father who committed domestic violence and I kn...
A. 23 February 2007: i think this girl is really having it hard and i am sorry that you feel helpless. she said she hate everything and she is running away, are you sure she is still around the neighbourhood? or do you know where she stays? i am sorry to sound ... (read in full...)
We are getting married next fall and I feel I don't even know him!
Q. I've got a doctors appointment today, something has shown up in my blood test, i am worried sick, but my bloke seems to of forgot that i am even going! Ålso - He works shifts and i am not sure just what he gets up to during the day. If i ask, he ...
A. 23 February 2007: i think marrying this guy when you know you dont know him well it will be a big mistake. find time in between his shifts because im sure there are times that he is off and you are off as well, use that time to bond, talk to each other all the time ... (read in full...)
Broken up but she still loves me!!
Q. Im writing is as I am in need of help and advice ASAP Basically me and my girl split up 2 weeks ago. We've been together for nearly 3 years, in that time we have split up 3 times. I truley love her and am certain she loves me. Up until a week bef...
A. 23 February 2007: hi
you guys need to stop running around in circles, chatting and telling how much you love each other but cant be together thing is not gonna break this circle. until you can be honest with each other and agree to move on. otherwise you will neve... (read in full...)
I dont get on with my sis as she can be a bit self centred, How can I get along with her better ?
Q. How can I get along with my sister when I don't even like her? I am the youngest daughter, my 2 sisters are at least 9 years older than me. I don't get along with the oldest very well, and i can't trust her with personal problems because ...
A. 22 February 2007: hi
i think this is something you need to forget all together and move-on with your lives if you really want to get along, you have written a list of things you dont like about her and i suppose if we ask her to write hers she will also has a gian... (read in full...)
I think she was cheating on me before we broke up. She seemed to "move on" way too fast...is this normal behaviour for a cheater?
Q. It's been over six months now since my breakup with my partner of 17 years. She moved on in two weeks of the break up and I suspect that she might have been cheating on me. She would not give me closure and has not made any form of contact with me. ...
A. 22 February 2007: Hi
Sometimes in life when a relationship is gone what we are left with is only pain and unforgiving heart, and this happens because we are all human and cant help but feel awfully rejected and full of despair when you start to feel this way, that... (read in full...)
I've gone off sex since I had my baby!
Q. Hi i have a 7 month old baby and since having him iv gone off sex im 22 and really worrid about this could you please help me. ...
A. 22 February 2007: Hi
Someone who have children might agree with me on this, there is nothing wrong with you, sometimes it happens to new mothers that they find themselves with very low sexual interest I think its caused by our maternal responsibilities topped with... (read in full...)
Did my last relationship f*** with my head? Why do I feel extrovert one minute then a loner the next?
Q. Any opinions on the following: I am just a average 34 y/o guy. I have only had one serious relationship which lasted about 8 years (I have known her however since I was 18 - first 5 just friends. She then broke up and we just split up. (To be...
A. 22 February 2007: Hi
I haven’t experienced any of that, but I know that after a break-up I have always felt disoriented and lost hope in love, but the feeling last for few weeks because during that time for me its moping time full of doubts, regrets and ever... (read in full...)
Why do I fear other men so much?
Q. Please i need to get this out of my mind somehow. Why do i fear other men so much, especially when i am on the verge of achieving something or reaching a milestone. I think them to be a kind of threat and try to keep distance and sometimes even ...
A. 22 February 2007: Hi
I think you feel like this because you are a go getter and all you wanna do is to protect your turf, that’s why you see them as a threat. I think the way you feel its normal and it is good, what you just need to do is to loosen-up a bit and be a... (read in full...)
My guy is in the army and his mum hates me and keeps making up stories about me to him! How can I win here?
Q. hay guys! ive been going out with this lovely guy for 1 yr! hes perfect for me! now hes just gone away with the army! missing him but everythings fine with us its just his mum! she hates me... she keeps lieing to him and telling him ppl have told ...
A. 22 February 2007: hi
I think you are faced with the “mother-in-law from hell” syndrome, and with this kind you cant win. What you need to do is to live your life as you see it fit, you don’t have to feel like you need to win because you are not in a competition. You ... (read in full...)
Should I go back to her and will I ever be able to get these awful images and thoughts of them out of my mind?
Q. Sorry, bit of a long and complex one but I'd really apprecaite some advice because I haven't got any friends who have been this involved before and hence they can't understand. I have been seeing and living with my girlfriend for the last 3 years. ...
A. 21 February 2007: i think this girl is really messed up and no one can gurantee if you go back to her she wnt go back to her old ways. the problem here is that she wants to start a family and you are not ready and instead of understanding what your wish for a family ... (read in full...)
We slept together, he didnt want anything serious, we stayed mates, now he's got a new GF, should I stay friends with him ?
Q. i started seeing this guy a few months ago and we started as mates going to the pub and talking , anyway we did eventually sleep together and after we decided to stay mates . anyway i had feelings for him and he kept saying i dont want a seri...
A. 21 February 2007: hi
i think staying mates with this guy will hurt you even more because how are you going to pretend you are happy with him dating another woman while all you want is him? dont torture yourself like that, you have a choice in all this, move on go o... (read in full...)
Why do things seem to be too big to others, that seem to be quite normal and not a big deal for me?
Q. Why do things seem to be too big to others, that seem to be quite normal and not a big deal for me. Infact i am looking forward for those things when others feel dreadful and nervous about it. As an example, when i was going for a job out of my ...
A. 21 February 2007: Hi
this is not the case of who is the strongest and who is the weakest its not like that at all. the reason why you feel optimistic about things and your parents are overwhelmed its because you guys are three different people who see things and valu... (read in full...)
How do I reduce this burden of opposition that I face in every major decision I take in life?
Q. I have a different (often the one not tried before) way of doing things in life as compared to majority. I feel a lot of opposition in that but in the end i find what i did to have been good for me. But i also derive a sense of grandiosity for being ...
A. 21 February 2007: Dear anonymous
I think you are doing just fine, you don’t need anybody’s approval on how to run your life, I don’t know why their opinions bother you because you have been able to go against them which means it has never been a burden to your life... (read in full...)
Together 32 years, he cheated I left...He doesnt want to be on his own so has'nt left her, but wants me back!!!!
Q. Please can you help me ! My husband is having an affair. We have been together for 32 years. We have had a very good marraige until the last 12 months when we drifted apart. I left him and he felt that i would not come back so he says that he ...
A. 20 February 2007: your husband seem very confused he wants u back but cant let her go, very disrespectful i know, is this the man you want to be with? i think the counsiling for both of you individually and also the marriage one will do you both good as the other ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and I have split up and I have a daughter to her, how can I get over it?
Q. i was with my ex for 1 month and then found out she was pregnant. i was ok with it until i found out that she had been sleeping with her ex while she was with me. i left her then and she got back with her ex. all the 9 months she was ringing me ...
A. 20 February 2007: i dont see anything being hard here only that you had a very unreliable and unfaithful exgirlfriend who happens to be a mother to your kid, remember that whatever you do this child didnt ask to be born in this mess, which means you have to find it ... (read in full...)
We had the best summer of our lives... but then we went to college and he changed - how do I get over him?
Q. I was in a relationship last August with a guy who was a player in high school. It was our last summer before we started college. We were friends for a while before we dated and went out as friends before we decided to take it to the next level. I ...
A. 20 February 2007: hi
what u need to do is to forget this guy completely he is full of drama and no shame of what he does to women, you are better off without. sooo this summer you are going to build new memories beautiful ones with a different guy, dont waste your... (read in full...)
He considers us friends but he won't take it up a notch! What can I do?
Q. I have been seeing this man for over 8 months now, and he still considers us friends, and yet we spend every weekend together, and it is great. Communication 98%, intimate encounters 2%. What do you think is the reason he doesn't take this ...
A. 20 February 2007: Dear octoberwine
I don’t know what his reasons may be as you didn’t give much in your post but I think what you need to do is to start telling him what you want in this “friendship”, communication is the key to anything, because he might be quit... (read in full...)
Is it possible for your soulmate to be married to someone else?
Q. Do you believe it is possible for your soulmate to be married to someone else? I believe mine is married to someone else (for about 10-12 years now). He has told me he loves me (and I him) but he hasn't mentioned he would divorce his wife, so of ...
A. 20 February 2007: dear anonymous
i dont really get this soulmate thing maybe because i have never met mine, so i dont know if my advice is what you were looking.
anyway from what i have read they said its not always that soulmate end up together which means if... (read in full...)
We should never have split up! Help... what should I do now?
Q. Basically we are one year down the line, and I have broken up with the girl again........again not being able to talk things through, and taking the silly option of splitting........... Well its one year on and its happened again. I star...
A. 20 February 2007: hey J
i am glad things are becoming clear now. Her mail depicts that she doesn’t want you anymore she said she was always happy to meet-up with u but lately she is not feeling the same. She made it clear that she doesn’t want you to think you guys... (read in full...)
My wife has been cheating for the last 3 years of our 10yr marriage, I dont know what to do!!!
Q. I have been married 10 years now and have learnt that my wife has been cheating for the last 3 years. I had always been faithful to her all along and she is unable to give me any reply and just say's I don't know how I did it. I have 2 kids and ...
A. 19 February 2007: i am sorry about all this. its a pity that the one we love is always the ones who hurt us the most. like eddie said she need to give you explanation and please dont take any excuses, she disrespected you and humiliated you and make a mockery of your ... (read in full...)
Together 32 years, he cheated I left...He doesnt want to be on his own so has'nt left her, but wants me back!!!!
Q. Please can you help me ! My husband is having an affair. We have been together for 32 years. We have had a very good marraige until the last 12 months when we drifted apart. I left him and he felt that i would not come back so he says that he ...
A. 19 February 2007: i honestly think your husband is not ready to work on this marriage, i dont know why you left Without discussing this first and put on some ground rules, because he thought you were gone for good, maybe if there was a clear conditions on your ... (read in full...)
Can we reclaim the feelings we had at the beginning of our relationship?
Q. I feel I have fallen out of love with my girlfriend, but don't know whether to stay in the relationship to see if those old feelings will come back to me. We have been together for two years, and initially I broke up with the girlfriend that I w...
A. 19 February 2007: i think what you guys need is a break i dont think its a good idea to get involved again while you still feel the way you do, she is still hung-up on her ex and i think she wants you because he is not available for her, she also wants you to commit ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him and hope he forgives me, or forgive myself and not mention it!?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been toguether almost a yr we decided we would start seing echother the day we met he lives hours away from me so we only visit a few days a month. i lost my job a week after we met and i had sex with 2 men,and gave head to ...
A. 15 February 2007: hi
this is a bit difficult a question to answer. i think what you need to do right now you have to learn to forgive yourself first, before seeking his forgiveness that way you will be able to know what to do in the long run. sometimes we make choi... (read in full...)
Today is Valentine's Day... but my heart is broken to pieces.... please help me.
Q. I need your help and advice please... My partner of two years used me when she needed my help, I stood by her,, I helped her the best I could, and never left her alone, but then I became like a tools for her which was just around for her use. I n...
A. 14 February 2007: hi
i dont know if what i would say will make it better. anyway i think you are just going thru what everyone who came out of a bad relationship go thru so you are not the first to feel this way it is understandable and it is natural, but the ques... (read in full...)
Today is Valentine's Day... but my heart is broken to pieces.... please help me.
Q. I need your help and advice please... My partner of two years used me when she needed my help, I stood by her,, I helped her the best I could, and never left her alone, but then I became like a tools for her which was just around for her use. I n...
A. 14 February 2007: hi
i dont know if what i would say will make it better. anyway i think you are just going thru what everyone who came out of a bad relationship go thru so you are not the first to feel this way it is understandable and it is natural, but the ques... (read in full...)
I am afraid to stay in my 13 year relationship but also afraid to leave for a past love - what do I do?
Q. I have been with my husband for over 13 years, married for over 6. We have had many challages but the past 2 years have been extremely difficult. I want children, he does not, this I did not know until after we were married. I have been a devoted, ...
A. 14 February 2007: hi
i think the root of the problem was lack of communication in this marriage, he lived his selfish life and when you were mute about it he thought you were happy, only to find out you were not happy and doesnt have any energy left to make the marr... (read in full...)
I'm seeing my ex while she's still with this guy and I want her to tell him.
Q. Need some advice please. OK so my ex-girlfriend and I broke up like 9 months ago after dating for like a little over a year. We were serious. Anyway, she broke up with me but we still fooled around and still acted like bf/gf. It was weird for me ...
A. 13 February 2007: yes do something like making peace with the fact that she is a dishonest person? can that be a start? she is fooling around with her ex .-.you whilst she is dating another guy, how do you know she wnt do the same thing to you with her future ex? i ... (read in full...)
We should never have split up! Help... what should I do now?
Q. Basically we are one year down the line, and I have broken up with the girl again........again not being able to talk things through, and taking the silly option of splitting........... Well its one year on and its happened again. I star...
A. 13 February 2007: hello jude
i am glad you decided to chill i think if she is allowing phone conversations its a good sign she is willing to forgive. just be there for her during her op and dont push things, because you might exceed the limit unknowingly. your acti... (read in full...)
We should never have split up! Help... what should I do now?
Q. Basically we are one year down the line, and I have broken up with the girl again........again not being able to talk things through, and taking the silly option of splitting........... Well its one year on and its happened again. I star...
A. 8 February 2007: dear Jude
i think what you need to do is to give a bit of time because right now she feels disrected by your behaviour i know you think you did all this with the influence of alcohol but the truth is you knew exactly what you were doing so stop sayi... (read in full...)
I am afraid to stay in my 13 year relationship but also afraid to leave for a past love - what do I do?
Q. I have been with my husband for over 13 years, married for over 6. We have had many challages but the past 2 years have been extremely difficult. I want children, he does not, this I did not know until after we were married. I have been a devoted, ...
A. 10 January 2007: hi there
i was never married so i really dont know the easy way out, but i have an opinion or theory i can share with you.
i truly believe you are very unhappy in your marriege your whole post highlighted that so many times and its good that you... (read in full...)
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