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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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Turns out my husband had a bj in the toilets at work because "it was on offer"... can men just not say no?
Q. I have just gone back to my husband following a break of 2 years. I left him for various reasons but i have never really got over him. We have a child and both want whats best for her obviously. I have had one serious relationship dur...
A. 2 January 2007: It's not a man thing. I was offered that and more on New Year's Eve. I didn't accept. The woman asked me how my marriage was too. I told her it was great. Not all men cheat. Yours did.
It seems you had problems in your marriage. If you're r... (read in full...)
My bf hates condoms and there is no way, I'm having unprotected sex. Any other options?
Q. My boyfriend and I are ready to have sex, but my boyfriend doesn't like condoms and there's no way I'm having sex without protection. There's no concern about STD's, so what other options are out there? I'm sure he'll eventually break down and ...
A. 2 January 2007: You tell him there will be no sex until he starts to like condoms. Or, talk to a doctor about options.... (read in full...)
Do I tell him his mother ruined his proposal?
Q. My boyfriend (now fiance) and I took a trip to Australia with his family last March. The day before we left for the trip his mother e-mailed me and added the words "almost mother in law" beside her name. Well this was pretty much a dead give away ...
A. 2 January 2007: I'd like to add something to my prreviuos post. Weddings and all things surrounding the big day can lead to BIG problems. I think it's generally an issue between the bride, brides mother and the mother of the groom. In my experience, it's mostly ... (read in full...)
Seeing him flirting with someone else made me realize how much I like him
Q. Hi there...okay here goes, ive posted a couple of times about a guy at work. He's 13 years older than me and married. Last christmas temptation got the better of us at a works do and we slept together. It was awkard afterwards and i think mainly ...
A. 2 January 2007: You can only judge people by their actions. You say you are not a bad person but what you are doing is certainly the opposite of good. Call it what you like, it's symantics. You're making terrible choices. He's making terrible choices. You're ... (read in full...)
Former sex industry worker to mistress to my boss!
Q. I am a former employee of the sex industry trying to get my life back on track. I recently went back to a day job which I love. It had gotten around the office what my former occupation was. One of the boss's (not mine directly) started asking me ...
A. 2 January 2007: She didn't ask for help to do something good or moral. She asked for guidance to create a terrible situation for many people. She wants to commit the perfect crime. Why would anybody want to give supportive advice to a person intent on causing ... (read in full...)
Is it really impossible for men and women to be "just friends"?
Q. i have a question. is it impossible for men and women to be "just friends"? it seems like all the guys i get close to, end up having some sort of feeling for me. then they say that i should have known, because guys and girls cant stay just friends. ...
A. 2 January 2007: I think males and females can be "just" friends as long as they are very well aware of the rules. For instance, I'd bet it's easier for a woman to be friends with a guy and NEVER, think about the sexual possabilities. On the other hand, Id bet ... (read in full...)
I kissed my husband's best friend on New Year's. He's fine about it, but I feel awful - what can I do?
Q. On New Year’s Eve, my husband fell asleep and I ended up kissing his best friend at midnight. It only lasted two seconds, and then I freaked out and ran over to where my husband was asleep on the couch and tried to pretend nothing happened. Then ...
A. 2 January 2007: Was it a typical New Years peck or the big wet type of kiss. If it's the first and it was two seconds, who cares. That's what we do on New Year's Eve.... (read in full...)
Do I tell him his mother ruined his proposal?
Q. My boyfriend (now fiance) and I took a trip to Australia with his family last March. The day before we left for the trip his mother e-mailed me and added the words "almost mother in law" beside her name. Well this was pretty much a dead give away ...
A. 2 January 2007: Try to get past it. She might have been just making light of the fact that you were like family. If it bothers you so much, and I undertand why, what purpose would it serve to spoil the event for your man? IF, and I repeat IF, you decide to say ... (read in full...)
We have online sex...is this considered an affair if we have partners?
Q. Short n sweet: having a textual affair with a man from work... if i am with someone, and he is someone, is it still considered an affair....
A. 2 January 2007: Of course it is. What makes it worse is the fact you know him personaly. IF you want to be sure about my reply, verify it with your partner. I think I know what he'll say too.... (read in full...)
i have to share him ...why?
Q. i met a guy i care a lot about.but he lives with a woman he got pregnant many years ago.the child is now grown.i don't understand why they stay together.he says he loves me.but he thinks i should be ok with this because they don't share anything ...
A. 1 January 2007: You're right for not understanding. You're wrong for allowing yourself to remain in the number two spot. As long as you allow yourself to settle for this treatment, it will continue. Only you can decide where to draw the line.... (read in full...)
Happy New Year! From South Africa!
Q. HAPPY NEW YEAR! from South Africa everybody! All the best for 2007 everyone and thank you for making 2006 special. God bless y'all! If you're from SA or an ex-patriot drop me a private message....
A. 1 January 2007: Happy New Year from the Niagara Peninsula, Ontario Canada... (read in full...)
How many BJ's on average, is average?
Q. How many blow jobs does the average man get per week ? ...
A. 31 December 2006: Like a hot female dentist?... (read in full...)
Is it cause for concern if your partner doesn't reciprocate, oral-wise?
Q. I haven't seen this certain question asked here, so I am going ahead and ask. If your p artner wants you to give him a bj, but in turn he won't return the favor, with no explanation what so ever. Should there be cause for concern, or not? I want ...
A. 31 December 2006: It's just a personal thing. If this was a guy who was saying his wife wouldn't agree to do a certain sexual act we'd be saying...you can't make someone do something they're not willing to try. I guess it should be the same here.
Perso... (read in full...)
How many BJ's on average, is average?
Q. How many blow jobs does the average man get per week ? ...
A. 31 December 2006: I'd like to meet the guy "who moves around between girls" and gets more that one a day. Even the "every morning before work" concept is far fetched......So I put on my socks, grab the morning newspaper and my coffee and stand by the side of the bed ... (read in full...)
What do guys think about petite women?
Q. I was wondering what men REALLY think about women who are petite. I wanted to ask this question because I heard someone say that short women are not sexy enough like taller women, and that guys rather be with women who are taller. I am 5 feet tal...
A. 31 December 2006: First of all, you're short. Unless you're young and still growing, that won't change. You're concerning yourself about this situation whilst your boyfriend is telling you he thinks you're great. My wife is tall. She hated it as a child. She's 5 ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Happy Xmas to everyone, from DearCupid!
Q. It has been a busy year here at DearCupid! We celebrated our 2nd birthday in November and had our 20,000th question and 70,000th answer published... Thanks to everyone who contributes to the site: Those who ask questions, those who answer, and ...
A. 31 December 2006: Does anyone here ever wonder what the other aunt's might sound like? I mean the different accents and words. I pick up on small things like "whilst". That's a word you'd never hear in Canada/USA. It's a crazy thought but there are many different ... (read in full...)
He's married with 3 kids and I just had his 4th! We argue all the time..is this ever going to work?
Q. my boyfriend is married with 3 chldren and ive just had his forth (a baby girl) i love him but we argue all the time. do you think its ever going to work?...
A. 31 December 2006: You've put youself into a rotten situation. You can't undue the damage you've created with you "man". Actually he's not your man, he's married.
Now the most important thing should be the child. You are young. You need to act like a mature p... (read in full...)
Former sex industry worker to mistress to my boss!
Q. I am a former employee of the sex industry trying to get my life back on track. I recently went back to a day job which I love. It had gotten around the office what my former occupation was. One of the boss's (not mine directly) started asking me ...
A. 31 December 2006: You seem to live your life in the sketchy shadows of the fringes. You say, "I'm trying to get my life back on track" Really, what track would that be?
The experiences I've heard about from this web site lead me to believe that most people l... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Happy Xmas to everyone, from DearCupid!
Q. It has been a busy year here at DearCupid! We celebrated our 2nd birthday in November and had our 20,000th question and 70,000th answer published... Thanks to everyone who contributes to the site: Those who ask questions, those who answer, and ...
A. 31 December 2006: I got this picture in myhead of a bunch of people trying to light fireworks in high winds. Imagine what a disaster that could be........I say old chap(english accent)....those fireworks seem to have launched in sideways manner....Blimey.....I'm not ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Happy Xmas to everyone, from DearCupid!
Q. It has been a busy year here at DearCupid! We celebrated our 2nd birthday in November and had our 20,000th question and 70,000th answer published... Thanks to everyone who contributes to the site: Those who ask questions, those who answer, and ...
A. 30 December 2006: My wife has to work from 9pm-5am New Years' Eve. I've been invited to my sister's house for a party but I'm already planning my escape. The bar on the corner is having a party with live music and some people from the neighbourhood. I'd rather be ... (read in full...)
I want to forgive her but the scene keeps playing in my mind! What can I do?
Q. Right well, here it goes! I've been with my girlfriend since March '05. We get on so great, we are made for each other, I just know we are. I love her with all my heart and soul and I know she feels the same. We very rarely fought, and if we ever ...
A. 30 December 2006: I totally agree with Dr. Pete. She's only telling you bits and pieces. This takes the burden off of her shoulders because she's told you the worse part. She was naked in bed. She realized he was going down on her....at what point did she ... (read in full...)
My wife is having an emotional affair. How do I save my marriage?
Q. my wife is having an emotional affair (non physical)with a man who also happens to be an obese 30 stones in weight! He also owns the shop from which she operates her flower business. This affair has developed over the last 3 years! as I understand. ...
A. 30 December 2006: I don't know what the history of the marriage is but to say it's the husbands fault is too easy. That is merely an assumption. His wife is the one stepping out on the husband and she admits it when caught. She also says she's unsure of the long ... (read in full...)
He wants me with him all the time. How do I let him know...time apart is okay?
Q. Hi, I need some advice on how to deal with my partner, he basically expects me to stay in every night, and every day with him, and every time i enjoy any time apart from him, say drinks with work colleagues, a huge row ensues. I have tried reaso...
A. 30 December 2006: The most important thing is this, DO NOT tell him you need time away from HIM !! Although it may be true, to say it that way is not going to make it easier on either of you. You have to let him know he's important to you. If he feels this, he ... (read in full...)
When you are drunk.. can you really not control what you are doing?
Q. dear cupid, when you are drunk can you really not control what you are doing or do you show you true feelings? an example is that my friend says he wouldn't kiss a girl but when he was drunk he did kiss her and also they were really close to each ...
A. 30 December 2006: People do strange things. Some do them while sober and others while drunk. I think alcohol just makes people less inhibited. It's a poor excuse for bad choices. It actually makes the drunk person appear more pathetic.
However it happens,... (read in full...)
Is our age gap inappropriate? Advice please?
Q. I've recently started a relationship with a girl who's 15 - and I'm 19. We're pretty well exactly four years apart, and she is definitely that best thing that has happened to me as far as relationships go. I met her through where we work. ...
A. 30 December 2006: I live in Canada too. That's not so important, but I'm aware of what is generally accepted as the norm, in your situation. As a father, I wouldn't like it. Let's be honest, a fifteen year old has, for the most part, no idea what life is about. ... (read in full...)
He will not introduce me to his parents. This is driving me nuts because we have been together 7 years!!
Q. Here is my issue and I'd love some feedback on it. I've been with my current boyfriend almost 7 yrs now, living together for 6 and engaged for 5yrs. My problem is that he will not introduce me to his parents. This is driving me nuts because we ...
A. 30 December 2006: Does he see his parents? If he goes and visits them and never invites you, their is some sort of secret, or strange angle to it. It just doesn't make sense.... (read in full...)
Flirting with my cousin's husband and guess what! now I can't stop thinking about him!
Q. i've been flirting with my cousin's husband on the internet and now i cant stop thinking about him. he keeps making suggestive comments and says that if he wasn't with her he'd slept with. every thing is so mixed up. what can i do? he's 34 and i'm ...
A. 30 December 2006: You should stop. He's not available to you. What thrill do you get out of carrying on with a guy whpo operates like that?... (read in full...)
How can I give my wife space without being left out?
Q. How can I give my wife the space she needs to spend time with her friends, and not feel left out?...
A. 30 December 2006: Well, your question is a little short of information but I'll try. Are you needy or do you feel insecure. Actually, it's not your place to "give" her space. She's entitled, as a human being to have the ability to socialize and enjoy herself ... (read in full...)
Did I overreact to my g/f being "upskirted" or "pantsied"?
Q. Am I overeacting? I am a male, in an amazing relationship with my girlfriend, and I have a question. So, a while ago I was hearing how her best friend was pantsing my girlfriend(pulling down the pants all the way so underwear is exposed) but I let ...
A. 30 December 2006: So far yo're right on the target. Why does your girlgriend put up with this. Also, why are you negotiating with someone who is clearly doiong something wrong. Actually, they could get into trouble for doing this. Your girlfriend needs to be more ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Happy Xmas to everyone, from DearCupid!
Q. It has been a busy year here at DearCupid! We celebrated our 2nd birthday in November and had our 20,000th question and 70,000th answer published... Thanks to everyone who contributes to the site: Those who ask questions, those who answer, and ...
A. 30 December 2006: The babysitter backed out...that's a criminal offense on New Year's Eve. Perhaps she's negotiating???... (read in full...)
My fiancee and love of my life..just told me she cheated multiple times with her ex! Am I a fool to forgive her?
Q. about 5 years ago, i found the love of my life while in my freshman year of college and about a year ago i asked her to marry me. my fiancee and i have been inseperable and she is already become an important part of my family and vice versa. she is ...
A. 29 December 2006: When did dhe cheat? IF it was recently, this might haunt you for a along time. She told you, because she feels bad about it. She did it more than once though so it wa a choice. This is all up to you and your ability to forgive.... (read in full...)
Doesn't bother me when other women chat up my man...is this a sign it's over for us?
Q. ok, here goes, with partner 6 years, engaged to be married, men suddenly taking interest in me, but since im getting the attention, it doesnt bother me anymore when girls chat up my man... is this a sign its over?...
A. 28 December 2006: I've got some insight into this. I have been in this spot. The most important thing, and I can't stress this enough, are boundaries. You MUST have them.
Relationships mature, get better and also get mundane. They need to be nurtured, always. ... (read in full...)
I am finding I have feelings for another man and I'm worried I will mess up my marriage. Help!
Q. Hi, i am married for just a few months now, my husband is such a wonderful guy, very good to me, the thing is, I have feelings towards another guy, nothing at all has happened. I really don't understand why ... i honestly don't want to be feeling ...
A. 28 December 2006: Yes, you're probably trying to mess up a good thing. You husband says he's fine. You insist he's not. This helps you in your decision to go for the other guy. You're acting very weak and imature. You will ALWAYS meet others you're attracted to. ... (read in full...)
This is the 2nd xmas in a row-I have slept with my married boss. But it gets worse-I think I'm pregnant! What can I do?
Q. Hi there... okies i think ive been really stupid. Last xmas i slept with my boss whose married and we didnt speak properly for ages afterwards, on my part i was embarrassed and wasnt sure what he was thinking but on his part i thought he regre...
A. 28 December 2006: Well, if this is an actual post, you should feel ashamed. so should your boss. Peopel sleeping with married people seems to be rampant. Some people might say you've got unresolved issues from your childhood or he's taking advantage of you since ... (read in full...)
This is the 2nd xmas in a row-I have slept with my married boss. But it gets worse-I think I'm pregnant! What can I do?
Q. Hi there... okies i think ive been really stupid. Last xmas i slept with my boss whose married and we didnt speak properly for ages afterwards, on my part i was embarrassed and wasnt sure what he was thinking but on his part i thought he regre...
A. 28 December 2006: Well, if this is an actual post, you should feel ashamed. so should your boss. Peopel sleeping with married people seems to be rampant. Some people might say you've got unresolved issues from your childhood or he's taking advantage of you since ... (read in full...)
Why can't my wife see what I see...that her father is a low-life! How do I convince her of this?
Q. I'm having major problems in my marriage with my wife because of my father-in-law. The guy is a creep. He's a playboy and loves carousing around with women of all ages. My wife on the other hand still calls him regularly and sees him regularly and ...
A. 27 December 2006: He may be a loser. He might not have a great idea of how to be a good man. If it's a touchy subject though, why do you bring it up? It will only start problems. Unless this guy is affecting your relationship directly, let him do as he pleases. ... (read in full...)
She has a mail friend who e-mails her and it upsets me, that she thinks about him way too often! Any advice?
Q. My wife has an e-mail relationship with another man. He is a mutual friend. The e-mails are not private, I can read them, but they are frequent. I know she gets excited to get e-mails from him and checks her e-mail a lot during the day (a lot ...
A. 27 December 2006: Is this guy a person that lives close to you and your wife? I can see your point but you might be reading too much into it. I would tell her in a pleasant manner, that it makes you "somewhat jealous" that she seems so interested in the attention ... (read in full...)
Am I right to feel upset that he was masturbating in the bed next to me while I slept!!!?
Q. I woke up one night to my boyfriend masturbating in bed next to me. I feel this isnt normal for him to do this next to me while i was asleep. Am i right to feel upset or should i just let it go....
A. 27 December 2006: I think the women who responded to this post need to take the "we" out of the equation. Masturbating is something a person does to themself. It has nothing to do with the other person. If you are sexually fulfilled and your partner wants to ... (read in full...)
Do I tell the kid's the 'real truth' about why their Dad and I split up?
Q. Hi, my husband and I have recently split over his porn use.I dont want to have a debate here as I have seen a lot on this site of really good discussion...I am dead against porn and wont be changing my mind but my question is..should I tell my ...
A. 26 December 2006: Well, in that case, he's really sticking his foot/feet in his mouth. He doesn't sound very considerate. As I've said, most men just want to have an enthusiastic partner, afterall, that is probably the number one complaint....before we got married ... (read in full...)
He made what I though was a lame joke but now I'm wondering?? Am I readinng too much into it?
Q. Just wanted your take on this-- I was with a guy I liked, last time-I kept slipping over in front of him because it was raining and I had really slippery shoes. He made a comment- "if you slipped into the tracks (we were at the train station)...
A. 26 December 2006: I have a question. Why would you read sooooo much into one little comment/joke? In the context of what you've said, it's impossible for anyone to really make a guess at what it could mean. Nobody could possibly have any idea what he was thinking. ... (read in full...)
It's a new relationship, so should I dump him for not getting me anything for christmas?
Q. My bf didn't get me anything for christmas. He asked me what size i am and I said small or x small, and then he said i'm not getting u anything!!! so don't think i'm gonna buy u anything. He didn't get me anything for christmas. The relationship is ...
A. 26 December 2006: It sounds like the guy is broke at the moment and he's worried about it. It doesnt mean he's a bad guy but he's not expressing it very well.... (read in full...)
Do I tell the kid's the 'real truth' about why their Dad and I split up?
Q. Hi, my husband and I have recently split over his porn use.I dont want to have a debate here as I have seen a lot on this site of really good discussion...I am dead against porn and wont be changing my mind but my question is..should I tell my ...
A. 26 December 2006: If you can accept that he's not a porn addict, there is a chance you're hyper sensitive to the issue. You've mentioned his ideas of what is attractive have not changed, yet you have. There is a poooability you have some issues here. Is it ... (read in full...)
It's a new relationship, so should I dump him for not getting me anything for christmas?
Q. My bf didn't get me anything for christmas. He asked me what size i am and I said small or x small, and then he said i'm not getting u anything!!! so don't think i'm gonna buy u anything. He didn't get me anything for christmas. The relationship is ...
A. 26 December 2006: That sounds like a strange game. Maybe the words came out wrong. What did you get him?... (read in full...)
Do I tell the kid's the 'real truth' about why their Dad and I split up?
Q. Hi, my husband and I have recently split over his porn use.I dont want to have a debate here as I have seen a lot on this site of really good discussion...I am dead against porn and wont be changing my mind but my question is..should I tell my ...
A. 26 December 2006: There is no good purpose in telling them why you're breaking up. You hate porn. That's your point of view. Your husbands use of porn might be in the range of normal, by some people's standards. Not yours though, and that's what important to you. ... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Happy Xmas to everyone, from DearCupid!
Q. It has been a busy year here at DearCupid! We celebrated our 2nd birthday in November and had our 20,000th question and 70,000th answer published... Thanks to everyone who contributes to the site: Those who ask questions, those who answer, and ...
A. 24 December 2006: I'm feeling F I N E now....round 2 is about to begin.... DING !!!!!... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Happy Xmas to everyone, from DearCupid!
Q. It has been a busy year here at DearCupid! We celebrated our 2nd birthday in November and had our 20,000th question and 70,000th answer published... Thanks to everyone who contributes to the site: Those who ask questions, those who answer, and ...
A. 23 December 2006: I had a rough morning....too much Christmas cheer last night....any suggestions?... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Happy Xmas to everyone, from DearCupid!
Q. It has been a busy year here at DearCupid! We celebrated our 2nd birthday in November and had our 20,000th question and 70,000th answer published... Thanks to everyone who contributes to the site: Those who ask questions, those who answer, and ...
A. 21 December 2006: HoHoho Merry Christmaas !! eddie... (read in full...)
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