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... Send *ddie a private message | | | *ddie's profile:Hi there. I go by Eddie. I'm from Canada. I have a great wife and two great kids, both teenagers. I've been with my wife for 21 years and we dated for two years before that.
I enjoy travel and learning new things. Different cultures interest me and what makes them tick. I think there is always a reason for the way certain cultures do things and many times we are too quick to judge things that we find odd.
The more places I go and the more people I meet, the more I see that we are so similar. Everybody is trying to enjoy life but we are all influenced along the way by the stuff that "happens". The trick is to learn from the lessons and carry on. I have a short fuse for infedility and take marriage very seriously. It's not from personal experiences either. I just don't understand why people don't seem to fix the problems in their marriages before they create more. I see lots of questions on this site pertaining to this topic, that's why I added this part. |
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| Latest articles: Why do people think the unattached person in a love triangle is a victim?
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 September 2007: Why is it that people get involved in love triangles and feel rejected when they don't work out? Why do so many agony aunts treat the third member of the triangle as a victim? I'm tired of hearing people reccommend.... "distance yourself from hi...
Fidelity and marriage
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 May 2007: Many times, we see questions asking for advice about marriage, monotony and fidelity. I tend to be cut and dry on this topic and often without compassion for the person struggling in this area. What bothers me most, is the ability of people to ...
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After my attraction to another-I don't think I can love with my husband, again. I find him gross! Any opinions?
Q. I am in love with another man... I have been happily married for 8 years, although my sexual attraction to my husband was always weak (different story). About 16 months ago I became attracted to someone at work. The attraction grew stronger while my...
A. 14 January 2007: Take the advice of the female anonymous post. As she says, she's been there and did the wrong thing. Seduction of the mind is a quick fall from grace. It's a slippery slope and you've got one foot over the edge. At his point you're only in the ... (read in full...)
After my attraction to another-I don't think I can love with my husband, again. I find him gross! Any opinions?
Q. I am in love with another man... I have been happily married for 8 years, although my sexual attraction to my husband was always weak (different story). About 16 months ago I became attracted to someone at work. The attraction grew stronger while my...
A. 14 January 2007: It sounds like you have NO RESPECT for your husband. Do him a favour and leave him in peace, not pieces. I really hope you didn't tell him you find him gross and you are repulsed by having sex with him. That would really hurt and be of no use.
... (read in full...)
Could my wife's cheating be caused by her menopause?? Should I believe this?
Q. On 6th December 2006 i submitted a question as a result of having caught my wife on 4th July 2006 kissing and cuddling with another man. This had been going on for 18 months,after 28 years of marriage. Meetings were limited to 15 to 30 minutes a ...
A. 13 January 2007: Tell her to get rid of her cell phone. Neither of them respect you. Confront the man and tell him in no uncertain terms what the deal is. As a matter of fact, bring your wife with you and let her do the talking. To believe they sat in the van ... (read in full...)
Mysterious calls have shown up on her phone--should I be worried?
Q. I was over at my girlfriend's house the other day and picked up her cellphone bill to look at it ... to see how much she was accruing in charges (being nosey). With that, I noticed that she was calling some numbers at 3-4am in the morning. Th...
A. 13 January 2007: Call the number and see who it is. If you already know it's a guy, ask her what's up.... (read in full...)
I have no idae of what excites me in a job what I would be good at. Any good advice?
Q. i lost myself in this world! i had the best year of travel. i returned home wanting to start a fresh. i told myself i wasnt going to go back to working in factory's, that i would get a better job. something to excite me, but also lets me live. m...
A. 13 January 2007: Well you're very lucky. I'm almost 44 and am unemployed. After 21 years in a factory, they shut down and now I'm unemployed. I too would like to make a change. My problem is I already have other committments, wife, kids, mortgage etc. Although ... (read in full...)
Was I out of line to tell my fiance that things between us aren't the same as they used to be? Any advice?
Q. Was I completely out of line to tell my fiance that things between us aren't the same as they used to be...for example, we don't cuddle as much. I didn't say it in an angry tone, and didn't want to start an argument. I was just noticing it, not like ...
A. 13 January 2007: Wow, 3 months and things are not the same as they "used" to be..........I'm thinking the excitment of the engagement and the hype of the new relationship have dwindled a little and you're back on earth. This is reality so make sure you're in the ... (read in full...)
Broke my porno habit... but should I tell my fiancee about my secret past?
Q. In regards to pornography and masturbation, my question is opposite of most others on this sight: I began this habit at the age of 13 and did not feel there was any problem with it. My opinion began to change at the age of 18 due to religious bel...
A. 13 January 2007: I generaly have a hard time with your beliefs and can not understand why you're feeling guilty about doing something that was natural. What would happen if you looked twice, or god forbid, three times a a beautiful woman on the bus? Would that be ... (read in full...)
He friends with a 27 year old woman from work. Are they friends or is there more to this?
Q. my husband has developed a friendship with a 27 year old woman - i have a feeling that she may be attracted to him and he is either naive, in denial and truly feels just innocent friendship or realizes she is attracted to him and feels the same way. ...
A. 13 January 2007: If he's conducting business, that's one thing. It sounds to me though that he feeling flattered by the attention. This is dificult as you don't want to accuse him of anything but at the same time, you don't want to stand by and watch this unfold. ... (read in full...)
I can't trust her and I need someone reliable! Should I walk away?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together 6 yrs. 3 months ago she decided to start to flirt with some guy on myspace. It progressed into her playing with herself while she would talk to him on the phone, in my bed. I did some snooping cuz I could tell ...
A. 12 January 2007: You've caught her fibbing three times. What more evidence do you need. She's dishonest.... (read in full...)
He's stopped drinking at the furry cup!
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 6 months now. The thing is, he has completely stopped giving me oral, which i absolutely love and dont think i want a relationship where theres no chance of it. He did right at the beginning of when we ...
A. 11 January 2007: I don't think you should stop giving him sex like someone suggested. If a man tried to convince a woman to so something she didn't want to do, we'd be called every name in the book. The last thing you want is some guy doing a particular act he ... (read in full...)
My bf still visits his old in-laws! I'm not happy about it. Should I tell him to stop?
Q. I have been with my b.f for 3 1/2 years. He was previously married for 20years and he still visits his ex in laws etc. Im not to happy about this should i tell him to stop seeing them or should i have to put up with it as he has known them for such ...
A. 11 January 2007: If they had children, these people would be the grandparents and unles, aunts etc. People form bonds over the years. How could you expect him to just walk away from everything? That's why I say marriage is about soooo much more thatn just the ... (read in full...)
I have OCD b/c of my ex - I feel I may push myself away from guys b/c of my problem!
Q. This might sound a little confusing but keep in mind i was never like this before one of my ex's. I obsess over little things and have unwanted thoughts. I met this guy i started talking to and i noticed the dumbest thing of all that i have no prob. ...
A. 11 January 2007: Send me a private message, we'll talk.... (read in full...)
He still talks about other girls in front of me even though I have asked him to stop because it upsets me!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year and am quite an insecure person. Whenever he talks about other girls, be they famous or otherwise it really gets me down and i get upset. I have asked him to stop and even broke down crying one day ...
A. 10 January 2007: You answered your own question. You said you're quite insecure. So instead of trying to manipulate or control him, fix your insecurities. They are, afterall, yours not his. Now depending on what he's saying, he should try to be sensitive. If he ... (read in full...)
I am afraid to stay in my 13 year relationship but also afraid to leave for a past love - what do I do?
Q. I have been with my husband for over 13 years, married for over 6. We have had many challages but the past 2 years have been extremely difficult. I want children, he does not, this I did not know until after we were married. I have been a devoted, ...
A. 10 January 2007: You are doing everything backwards. And yes, if you've crossed lines, you have already cheated. Sometimes things in life don't work out, marriage being one. If you truly want kids, and you deserve this, then you have a right to leave. Be an ... (read in full...)
I saw him pleasing himself... Wht does it mean!?
Q. Recently I accidently saw my boyfriend masturbating. I thought we had a healthy sex life. Why does he need to do this? Also I saw naked pictures of him on his phone what does all this mean...
A. 10 January 2007: Masturbating has nothing to do with you. I've seen a few posts lately about women who "catch" their guys pleasing themselves. It's really a personal thing and the fact some people are hurt, offended, surprised etc really makes me wonder. Don't ... (read in full...)
Is he genuine, or does he consider me to be forbidden fruit?
Q. Thank you for your kind advice. I have posted a question earlier with title "I wish never met the other guy. I do not want to have an affair" Since then, I have spoken to husband Peter and tried to work things out, we have talked a lot. Lots of ...
A. 9 January 2007: You said you went and talked to your husband. Did you tell him about the other guy? What you didn't say was what you talked about. From the information you've provided, it sounds like he could try all he wanted and nothing would change. You've ... (read in full...)
Is he genuine, or does he consider me to be forbidden fruit?
Q. Thank you for your kind advice. I have posted a question earlier with title "I wish never met the other guy. I do not want to have an affair" Since then, I have spoken to husband Peter and tried to work things out, we have talked a lot. Lots of ...
A. 9 January 2007: You ARE NOT working on your marrriage enough. " He visits Peter and me even more frequently now".....How the are you supposed to fix the relationship when you're letting the devil in the backdoor? Is this really serious?
"John touches my hand ... (read in full...)
He lives on the other side of the world. I want to emigrate to be with him. Is this a good idea?
Q. Heres a question for you the only guy I have ever really liked - I think he is my soulmate (if there is such a thing) lives on the other side of the world we usually see each other once a year either I go there or he comes here, but realistically ...
A. 9 January 2007: Moving to another country is a bid step. Is it a country that's of an equal standard of living? It's hard to go backwards. It's also very difficult to get permission, immigration wise, unless you have some special status.... (read in full...)
he kissed me goodnight on the cheek! Does that mean he's "not" interested?
Q. hey Meet this guy and he is so sweet was the perfect gentlemen during the date, but l was so shy and quite and they where very quite moments during the date, but opened up as the date was coming to an end, but when he dropped me off he shook my ...
A. 8 January 2007: Wow, guys can't win!! He was being respectful. If he had tried to seduce you, you would possible be calling him a pig. It's better for a guy to be cautious and repsectful then to blow ay future chances. Take a look at the words you used to ... (read in full...)
We're loves and both married to other people. How can my lover get over his guilt of cheating?
Q. Both my lover and I are married but there is no sex for either of us in those relationships. We have been seeing each other for a few months and have recently started sleeping together. However, my lover is finding it difficult to deal with his ...
A. 7 January 2007: There is only one way to stop feeling guilty. That is to stop doing nasty things. When we feel guilt it's because we know we're doing something wrong, it's called a conscience. It's natural guage we're designed with to send out an alarm when ... (read in full...)
We both can't see us growing old together. Can anyone help us get past this?
Q. My wife informed me that she had kissed one of her female friends three weeks ago. prior to this i had expressed my feelings, that i did not trust this woman and i did not think she was the good friend my wife thought she was. Now i am can't get ...
A. 7 January 2007: It seems your relationship needs help form a therapist. The kiss throws a new angle into the big picture. Get some help as a couple.... (read in full...)
Been with boyfriend for 4 years, but am getting on so well with another guy. What should I do?
Q. I am 39 years old and divorced and have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. We have been quite happy together and I trust him, but I have always got upset and made unhappy by the fact that he will never move in with me, he says that the time isnt ...
A. 7 January 2007:
You seem to be surrounded by people who make poor choices. Leave the married guy alone. Your boyfriend should have left you alone. Everyone would be so much happier if they focused on their legitimate relationships as opposed to the ones on the ... (read in full...)
We both have respective bf/gfs, but we get on so well, I want to know if we're into each other?
Q. hi, a quick question to any boys reading - if you have a boyfriend and you meet a guy and become good friends with him but don't tell him about your boyfriend for a long time, it pretty much means you like your friend a bit too much, yes? and if you ...
A. 7 January 2007: Well it's quite simple. At your age you're entitled to make choices and review them. It's expected. The most important lesson to learn is this, there will always be others you become attracted to. This is natural. What you need to decide is ... (read in full...)
Should I still remain in a marriage that I am in, just for the satisfaction of my family?
Q. I have been married for 18 years and we have 3 teenagers. I have only been "content" in my marriage, not really happy. I have been friends with a another man for about 7 years. He was in a bad marriage and is now going through a divorce. Seven ...
A. 6 January 2007: What did you do to try and raise your interest in your marriage. I'd bet as soon as you started being interested in the other guy, you did nothing. THAT is where you made your BIG mistake. Instead of nurturing your marriage, you nurtured a fling. ... (read in full...)
My bf gets jealous and yells at my guy friends when I talk to them! I've lost friends and am embarrassed and ashamed.
Q. My boyfriend gets insanely jealous when I talk about other guys who HONESTLY think of me as a friend. He spazzes out of them and says things like 'hey, why don't you back the f*** off?'...It embarasses me, and they don't talk to me anymore because ...
A. 5 January 2007: Every person who responded withthe same advice and you replied by saying you're happy with what you've got.....You really think he values your companionship??????? Look at what you're saying. He values you as long as you do as he says...PERIOD. ... (read in full...)
Why do they always shoot their load so soon? Is it me?
Q. Why is it that everytime i have sex with a man they always ejaculate too quickly? Is it me or what? Im getting rather frustrated over this....
A. 5 January 2007: I've got an answer. IT feels SOOOOO darn good !!!!! Actually, I think some people think it's like the movies, porn or otherwise. It's not. Most men, I'm told, don't last as long as they like. Most women, I'm told, don't want steady intercourse ... (read in full...)
Snooped a look at my hubby's emails and didn't like the flirty messages I found!
Q. My husband left for a 3 day business trip a couple days ago. He was in a hurry to leave and forgot to log off his work email. I sat down at the computer and there it was. My curiosity got the better of me and I peeked. I found that he recently ...
A. 5 January 2007: You can admit you snooped but at the same time you didn't like what you found. Just because you snooped doesn't make what he did right. Here's an extreme example, if the person nextdoor was beaten and robbed of a particular item and you found it ... (read in full...)
How do I approach my husband again about this delicate matter?
Q. when my husband and i first talk about anal sex, we both agreed we were not interested. its been about a year now, and i think i want to try. what is the best way to approch him about trying anal sex? ...
A. 5 January 2007: How to approach the idea of anal sex......from behind...I couldn't resist... :)... (read in full...)
My bf goes out all night w/ his friends. I get nervous thinking he might still do this if we have a family - any advice?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years we are both 26 live together and have a great life. The one thing which is stopping it being perfect is the way i am when he says he is going out. He goes out twice a week at most with his friends to ...
A. 5 January 2007: You can not and should not tell somebody they can't go out. Why would you? Do you really think somebody will enjoy being with you if you try and regulate what they do? What's next, you can't work with the opposite sex, can't join a particular ... (read in full...)
My bf gets jealous and yells at my guy friends when I talk to them! I've lost friends and am embarrassed and ashamed.
Q. My boyfriend gets insanely jealous when I talk about other guys who HONESTLY think of me as a friend. He spazzes out of them and says things like 'hey, why don't you back the f*** off?'...It embarasses me, and they don't talk to me anymore because ...
A. 5 January 2007: You're in a bad situation. IF you feel that you'd go to that extreme so, as to not set him off, he's a bomb waiting to explode. Why should yo walk on egg shells and pay a price for something you haven't done. You're a person. We commiunicate and ... (read in full...)
How do I get dates aged 42?
Q. I want to date again... but I don't know how. I'm 42 but everyone tells me I look much younger. I've been divorced 8 years and am I full-time working single mom, so I haven't dated because I've been working on loving myself again... and being a ...
A. 5 January 2007: I'm here to tell you that if you get out there and mingle with people, you'll get a date. No problem at all. I'd suggest not jumping into bed though as you might end up getting the kind of men you don't really want.
Join a group or club, go... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned that she never wants sex?
Q. my girlfriend and i get aong great. she is wonderful. but she never wants to have sex and often refuses my advances. even when i try to rub her or kiss her she does not like it. we have a relationship that is long distance at time due to college. ...
A. 5 January 2007: Some people have different sex drives. One thing that can lead to disaster is this, don't think it's because of you. You will begin to resent her. Talk to her and let her know how you feel.
She may never be a sexual as you. The standard... (read in full...)
I want a threesome w/ my fiance's best friend, but my fiance is jealous and possessive. Should I just get over my feelings?
Q. My partner and I have recently got engaged, bought a house and have finally decided to settle down after many years of playing the field. We have been together for a year now and I have so far felt that this is the last man I will ever be with. ...
A. 4 January 2007: You're opening a can of worms. If you really like it, do you think it will only happen once? If you have to convince your man to do it, he WILL resent it later. At least he's likely to resent it.
Why don't you try to discover something else tha... (read in full...)
Girlfriend dlept with guy over 2 years ago! I can't get him out of my mind!
Q. hi there. please help me get my head around this, as its making me completely miserable and paranoid! i have been with my girlfriend for over 2 years now. we are really close and most of the time it is perfect. However before i met her she slep...
A. 4 January 2007: To the female anon below, you too are soooo full of generalizations. "coloured guys are known to be well, big down there" Are you that shallow? Do you buy into all that garbage? I thought people were starting to get past racial stereotyping.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend dlept with guy over 2 years ago! I can't get him out of my mind!
Q. hi there. please help me get my head around this, as its making me completely miserable and paranoid! i have been with my girlfriend for over 2 years now. we are really close and most of the time it is perfect. However before i met her she slep...
A. 4 January 2007: What do you know about racism? The guy said he didn't like the fact his girlfriend was with a person, in particular one with a different skin colour. That is racism, disliking or judging someone by the colour of their skin. Why is that ... (read in full...)
I cant see him leaving his wife so do I stay with him? or do I end it now? i
Q. i have been having an affair with a married man for 5yrs, we were friends well before we were lovers,i knew he didnt love hes wife, and was and still is unhappy at home,he tells me he hasnt had sex with her for yrs?i dont believe that for a ...
A. 4 January 2007: Where would you like him to go home to? He's not married to you. You have no claim on him. He has no right to be cheating on his wife. You're both be dishonest and devious. The only hope you have is to rrealize the error of your ways, decide to ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend dlept with guy over 2 years ago! I can't get him out of my mind!
Q. hi there. please help me get my head around this, as its making me completely miserable and paranoid! i have been with my girlfriend for over 2 years now. we are really close and most of the time it is perfect. However before i met her she slep...
A. 4 January 2007: What do you want to hear? You're acting like somebody who wants to lose his lady. A little racist too. The truth is she probably what she did. It wa sex and sex usually feels good. You will get nowhere until you accept that. That is very blunt ... (read in full...)
I'm prepared to do anything to get her back. Any advice?
Q. hi, just wondering if anyone out there has any advice to get my girlfriend back? we had been 2gether 10 1/2 years (engaged for 5) and i thought everything was fine, geting on as normal etc. then out of the blue 2 weeks before xmas she told me she ...
A. 3 January 2007: Why have you been engaged for 5 years? I find that the strangest thing of all.... (read in full...)
Heartsick over her playing around with an old bf..will we ever be able to build the trust again?
Q. I need help. First, the background. I met a girl the end of September, and we really hit it off. The end of October, we both said "I love you". She is mid to late 20's and I am mid 30's, there is 8 years between us. I decided to take her on a qu...
A. 3 January 2007: What you did was wrong, checking the phone etc. However, what she did was W R O N G. She can point fingers at you for snooping and she'd be correct but.....she can't deny the rest. Sleeping on the couch, I really doubt it. You're looking for ... (read in full...)
He says he's learning to prioritise between me and his ex-wife and kids... I feel he's lost his spark and changed
Q. Hi all, Would really appreciate some advice on this, especially from any men out there! I met a guy last September and we hit it off immediately. We are in the same industry, we like the same things and I really thought I'd found someone special....
A. 3 January 2007: One thing you have to accept is this, the kids should be a priority. They are children and should be made to feel special. Now, as far as the other stuff, he needs to be informed about how is empty promises have made you feel. IF he's unreliable ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dreamed about doing "it" with another girl!
Q. Hiya, my boyfriend of a long time has just told me today he had a dreamed about doing it with another girl, a girl he was once with. that kinda worried me, but he assured me that he'll never do that. The girl lives abroad by the way now. so ya, it ...
A. 3 January 2007: Well he probably should have kept quiet about it. That was silly to tell you. On the other hand, how can you spend time worrying about a dream he had no control over. More than dreams' we have actual thoughts that are more threatening that that. ... (read in full...)
Turns out my husband had a bj in the toilets at work because "it was on offer"... can men just not say no?
Q. I have just gone back to my husband following a break of 2 years. I left him for various reasons but i have never really got over him. We have a child and both want whats best for her obviously. I have had one serious relationship dur...
A. 2 January 2007: It's not a man thing. I was offered that and more on New Year's Eve. I didn't accept. The woman asked me how my marriage was too. I told her it was great. Not all men cheat. Yours did.
It seems you had problems in your marriage. If you're r... (read in full...)
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