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... Send *unty Babbit a private message | | | *unty Babbit's profile:I was a nurse and midwife for 20 years, I am a mother of 2 children and have a stepchild. All are now adults OMG!
I am very happily married, second time round.
My husband has suffered depression (not caused by me lol) and we have luckily come through that.
I have often mediated for friends during breakups and am regularly asked for advice on all things in general.
I have a lot of friends and when I'm not working (in bereavement)I write my own books of poetry for children and illustrate them as well |
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My friend has a perfect girlfriend yet cheated several times. He needs advice what to do now.
Q. One of my best friends is with a girl and has been since Feb. The girl went away travelling over the summer but they stayed together, despite only being together a few months at this point. Anyway my best mate fell for a girl at work, whilst his gf ...
A. 12 October 2013: Thanks Daisy, do you know, I was thinking the self same thing? :)
OP What do you expect us to say to you?
Your friend's girlfriend was away and he played the field. You say he felt guilty, well clearly not that much because he kept sleeping wi... (read in full...)
What are people's opinions are on changing your mind about the way someone looks?
Q. I was wondering what people's opinions are on changing your mind about the way someone looks? A few months ago, I found out that my boyfriend told his friend last year that his ex was better looking than me and I wasn't all that great. I'm not ...
A. 11 October 2013: I completely understand why you're hurt and think your feelings are justified.
I know what he said was unkind but I think that this only hurts you so much because he's compared you to his ex and you came off second best.
If he had compared you... (read in full...)
Married, open relationship, and now divorce?
Q. I need you guys opinions, please. Here's my situation: My wife and I knew each other since for about 8 years. We got married on 2011 so it would be almost 2 years of marriage. We both agreed on having an open relationship as long as in the end we w...
A. 10 October 2013: Open relationships are when couples agree to see (and that includes have sex with) other people outside of the relationship.
The risk with this is that one half of the partnership may develop feelings for their "affair partner" that are stronger... (read in full...)
I'm afraid he won't accept me because of herpes
Q. I have herpes type 2. I get one bump, and thats it. Every now and again. Anyway, Im planning on going on a date with a man ive been talking to for 6 months, in a week. I know we are headed in a serious direction. He has a messed up past, being an ex ...
A. 10 October 2013: Thank you for your reply :)
Blurting it out's not so good because, I think, that it doesn't show the level importance and concern you feel about this.
I don't think it's one of the first things you say either :)
I would wait to see how yo... (read in full...)
He makes jokes about religion, but I'm religious
Q. The man I want to be with, always makes jokes about "aliens" being out there, and maybe they are the ones who created us. I am a God fearing woman, and when someone makes jokes about whom I worship, I take it to heart and it upsets me. He does not ...
A. 10 October 2013: Thank you for your replies, it really helps clarify situations when OP's take the time to update us :)
I think that you're defensive but I think much of that is caused by the lack of respect showed to your religion by your Dad and others. ... (read in full...)
What is the right age do you think, to settle down and have a family?
Q. When do you think people ussualy start thinking about settling down? My daughter is 27, her boyfriend will be 30 in a couple months. They both have good jobs, but live with 4 other roomates. its a big house in a very expensive city. I just vis...
A. 9 October 2013: In response to your reply,
Of course you have a right to worry, but there's absolutely nothing you can or should do. Worrying won't change anything.
Your daughter is obviously an intelligent woman and I'm sure she doesn't need her Mother to te... (read in full...)
I'm afraid he won't accept me because of herpes
Q. I have herpes type 2. I get one bump, and thats it. Every now and again. Anyway, Im planning on going on a date with a man ive been talking to for 6 months, in a week. I know we are headed in a serious direction. He has a messed up past, being an ex ...
A. 9 October 2013: Unfortunately as you know with Herpes type 2 there is no permanent cure but it can be treated with antiviral medication and if you experience a flare up and until the symptoms have gone completely you must use a barrier method of contraception.
... (read in full...)
What is the right age do you think, to settle down and have a family?
Q. When do you think people ussualy start thinking about settling down? My daughter is 27, her boyfriend will be 30 in a couple months. They both have good jobs, but live with 4 other roomates. its a big house in a very expensive city. I just vis...
A. 9 October 2013: There is no age, it's about when it feels right!
Women have opportunities now that never existed in the 50's when you were expected to have a nice little job in a typing pool or working for the telephone exchange or in a little shop before g... (read in full...)
He makes jokes about religion, but I'm religious
Q. The man I want to be with, always makes jokes about "aliens" being out there, and maybe they are the ones who created us. I am a God fearing woman, and when someone makes jokes about whom I worship, I take it to heart and it upsets me. He does not ...
A. 9 October 2013: I have my own spiritual beliefs and do not expect others to have them, I do not talk about them, they are my own and personal to me.
I respect everyone's right to make their own choices about faith, whether it be an organised religion, somethin... (read in full...)
Is it normal or healthy in a love relationship for your girl or guy to frequently mention some other guy or girl's name?
Q. is it normal or healthy in a love relationship for your girl or guy to frequently mention some other guy or girl's name? my girl seems to mention this one guy's name every time we conversate. i once asked her and she said he was just a collegue and ...
A. 9 October 2013: Only she knows the answer but it's clear that you have trust and jealousy issues and so does she!
You two need to sit down, talk and really sort this out.
You both have to decide if this relationship is what you want and then think about how ... (read in full...)
Are my trust issues the key? Can I get past these feelings since I resumed a relationship with my ex?
Q. Some of you know my relationship history with the long distance relationship. Well it has been over since July, and I'm happy to say I don't feel stressed anymore. On another note. I have let my ex husband move back in with me and we are trying t...
A. 9 October 2013: Thank you for the reply :)
OK I see why he's there but this is awful for you.
You are so clearly unhappy.
I remember when my ex husband and I first split up, he had to carry on living with me for a while until his own place was sorted and... (read in full...)
I want a career that I enjoy but doesn't require years of schooling
Q. I am currentlly attending college for radioailgy. I love the medical field but I really hate science and math so im considering changing my major. I also love criminal justice, or something in the psychology field, but Im really stumped, I dont know ...
A. 8 October 2013: We would all love a job that we enjoy, pays really well and doesn't involve much in the way of study but in my experience they all tend to go hand in hand.
Anything involving medicine will require study and lots of it, the pay isn't bad but will... (read in full...)
Are my trust issues the key? Can I get past these feelings since I resumed a relationship with my ex?
Q. Some of you know my relationship history with the long distance relationship. Well it has been over since July, and I'm happy to say I don't feel stressed anymore. On another note. I have let my ex husband move back in with me and we are trying t...
A. 8 October 2013: You're getting over the break up of a LDR and have decided to give things another go with your ex husband and you're both having counselling.
Well that's great BUT why on earth has he moved in already?
With the help of counselling you ... (read in full...)
Cyber sex gone wrong!!
Q. dear users recently i made the stupid mistake of delving into the cyber sex cam world on skype. i had been talking to this girl for a while and it kind of got to what youd call online friends with benefits we ended up camming, and im sure yo...
A. 8 October 2013: You've learnt a hard lesson and I feel bad for you but please don't be to harsh on yourself.
There is a piece of legislation called the misuse of telecommunications act.
I know this will be difficult for you but I think you should speak to ... (read in full...)
I have yellow nails from my parent's smoking!
Q. Hi. Both my parents smoke (roughly 5-a-day each). They smoke outside or in the porch with the door open. Recently I have noticed I hav been getting yellow nails no one else has at home because I have the longest nails. I don't smoke! What can I...
A. 8 October 2013: Passive smoking does not make your nails go yellow.
Over wearing nail varnish or use of removers can cause yellowing of the nails.
Poor diet can affect your nails as can hair colorants if you dye your hair.
Fungal infections can cause yel... (read in full...)
Thoughts on writing to your ex?
Q. Is it a good idea to write a letter to your ex? I've been doing the no contact rule, but it has been really hard. I've been thinking about writing a letter to let her know how I feel and how much I am hurting. Will I be making a fool of myself by ...
A. 8 October 2013: Hi,
Sorry to hear that you're struggling through your break up.
In response to your question I think it can be a very helpful exercise to write a letter expressing your feelings, your hurt, anger, misery and isolation it can be a healing thi... (read in full...)
I'm a teen mom stuck in a horrible relationship and I think I could be pregnant again just 10 months after the first baby!
Q. So basically I'm gonna try to make this short . I had a baby 10 months ago, I was 17 . The father of the baby he seemed to change (started being responsible, save money for our life together..etc) Now, everythings messed up again he's slightly...
A. 8 October 2013: You're period being late could be pregnancy, stress or weight related.
If you're very under or overweight your periods can stop.
If you're very stressed and upset your periods can stop.
If you're pregnant your periods can stop.
Hom... (read in full...)
Should I wait or call for an answer? Are we or aren't we broken up?
Q. After my non-acceptance or being able to make sense of the sexy, lets see where this will lead communication between my boyfriend and his old colleague... he still has not contacted me. NOR has he broken up officially. Is his silence an indicati...
A. 8 October 2013: Hi OrchidRose,
Thank you for the reply.
I'm sure you are broken, this is a horrible thing to have happened to you.
There's absolutely no doubt that your guy was cheating on you, based on the things you say he wrote in the letter.
Even ... (read in full...)
I don't want to live together without a commitment, but he has a deadline to buy a place
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. We are both 29 year old. We both currently live with family in order to save up money as well. He is actually looking to purchase a home within the next year or so due to certain ...
A. 8 October 2013: You say you want commitment before you move in together.
Ummm lets see,
This guy is loving, responsible, hard working and focused on the future.
This man is in love with you and sees a future for the two of you.
You say it's the best r... (read in full...)
I've become the maid and babysitter in my house because of the way my wife now acts. What can I do?
Q. i am 35 and my wife is 30 we have been married a year but together almost 6 years. we have sex maybe 1-2 times ever other month. before that about 1 year ago it was 1-3 times amonth, we have a son together and her 8 yr old daughter whom believes im ...
A. 7 October 2013: You're wife is taking of advantage of you but, for whatever reason, you're allowing her too!
If my husband stayed out till 2 am and came home drunk on a regular basis, he'd be the one sleeping on the sofa NOT me.
Why do you let her use you like... (read in full...)
Should I wait or call for an answer? Are we or aren't we broken up?
Q. After my non-acceptance or being able to make sense of the sexy, lets see where this will lead communication between my boyfriend and his old colleague... he still has not contacted me. NOR has he broken up officially. Is his silence an indicati...
A. 7 October 2013: Let me get this right, you caught your boyfriend writing flirtatious letters to a colleague and HE's the one who feels insulted?
Take a step back and look at this situation.
You're boyfriend is pursuing another woman.
It doesn't make any dif... (read in full...)
Just broke up and feeling like travelling by myself. Any ideas?
Q. My ex broke up with me 6 months ago. I found it so difficult to move on. I dont talk to my friends a lot about how i feel because i dont want them to hear me whine all the time. I dont want to tell my family about it either. Im always an independant ...
A. 6 October 2013: I'm not sure it's a good idea for anyone, male or female, to travel alone whilst feeling depressed.
You say it was hard for you to move on but, my darling, I don't think you have. You're still hurting but are bottling it up because you're concerne... (read in full...)
I have a good boyfriend now but my ex lover contacted me again and I am confused.
Q. Hi there I am in a pickle at the moment. I am currently with a man whom I love dearly and have pictured having kids with him and also marriage he's a gem! Have had a tough relationship but we've lulled through a lot together, he also has autistic ...
A. 6 October 2013: Your relationship with your ex wasn't good, you say he was mean to you and you ended up hating him.
Also, please bear in mind that this wasn't a "real" relationship, it was an on-line one, you two were never really an item, it was just a fantasy.... (read in full...)
I worry he'll fall for some-one else like he fell for me when with his ex
Q. I met my boyfriend a yr ago when he was still with his ex girlfriend. We were friends through his work - and nothing happened between us until after he broke up with his ex. He had said their relationship wasn't going well at the time and they were ...
A. 6 October 2013: He didn't cheat on his ex with you, this man has standards and morals.
The relationship just got stale and had run it's course.
You just happened to be in the right place at the right time.
He has given you no cause to doubt him and you say... (read in full...)
I feel bad that he earns and spends more than I do
Q. Hello! I am currently a twenty year old college student. Up until recently, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and I usually focused on other things, like relationships and family.It's only now that I've focused on schooling/wor...
A. 6 October 2013: One day, when you're qualified, experienced or in a better position at work you will be commanding a better salary and things may balance out.
Of course he may have been promoted by this time and therefore may still be earning more than you.
... (read in full...)
How can I tell my mother information I gave her about being abused by my boyfriend was false, without losing her trust?
Q. I'm going to make this as short and simple as I can. When I was between the ages of 4 and 11 I was molested by a step grandfather. I told my parents about this when I was 17 and naturally it's been hell ever since. this ties in with the questio...
A. 6 October 2013: This is a very difficult situation, you're boyfriend has indeed been very understanding.
I understand you were confused but as a victim of sexual assault at a young age I struggle to understand why you would lie about something so sinister... (read in full...)
Should I leave my boyfriend? I think I deserve better?
Q. Should I leave my boyfriend? I think I deserve better? Well here is our story so you can understand my situation. I met him three years ago. Since day one I knew he had a daughter but he was not with the mother. At the beginning we only...
A. 6 October 2013: Firstly please don't stress over the fact you lost your virginity to him.
Your first time should, ideally, be with someone you love and you loved him and thought he felt the same.
Next, his daughter should take priority, every time, but this d... (read in full...)
Reliable and no passion, or risky and passionate?
Q. I'm currently very confused. I was dating a guy for nearly 10 months but we broke up when I went to uni because it didn't feel the same. We still talk and its almost as if we are still together. But there's also another guy from back home who I talk ...
A. 6 October 2013: I'm a little bit confused because you say you and your ex broke up but then say, at the end of your letter, that if you break up it would be a while before you could be friends.
Are you a couple or not?
You say you broke up because things d... (read in full...)
It almost sounded like he was trying to convince himself when he said ILY
Q. This may sound silly but: My boy friend of one year usually says "love ya" or "love u" either to me or in response to "I love you" from me. He said it first after six months by the way. However, tonight I kinda jumped on the bed, straddled him all ...
A. 6 October 2013: I do feel sorry for men sometimes.
We women can be a tricky gender to understand :)
If they don't tell us they love us, we over analyse it and assume they don't love us, if they do tell us, in a deep and romantic way, we over analyse it and a... (read in full...)
Is it normal or healthy in a love relationship for your girl or guy to frequently mention some other guy or girl's name?
Q. is it normal or healthy in a love relationship for your girl or guy to frequently mention some other guy or girl's name? my girl seems to mention this one guy's name every time we conversate. i once asked her and she said he was just a collegue and ...
A. 6 October 2013: It could be something, it could be nothing.
If she was having an affair with him whilst dating you I very much doubt she would mention this guys name at all.
She may just be friends with him and really like his company and the things he says a... (read in full...)
Advice on getting over an abusive relationship?
Q. Hey guys. I'm in serious need of some help. I'm at a really low point. I'm coming out of an emotionally abusive relationship and I'm really having a hard time. It's only been a few days and I'm already struggling so much. I've always been such...
A. 6 October 2013: It's really hard to walk away from any relationship especially when you've loved and invested so much time and energy into it.
What you're experiencing is very normal. As the abused partner, you have, no doubt, become used to being dominate... (read in full...)
Need ideas on birthday present for boyfriend of 2 months.
Q. Hey! So I'd like some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 months now and it's his 21st birthday next month and I don't know what to get him. We haven't been together long so I wasn't going to make a deal and get him something ridiculo...
A. 6 October 2013: I agree that the cookie is a lovely idea and tickets to a film is a nice suggestion from iAHTHY.
Cheaper than cinema tickets though is something like a pint glass with 21 on it, from a card shop. You could then maybe put a slip of paper inside w... (read in full...)
Advice for a friend in a LDR
Q. Hi, this isn't advice for myself im seeking but for a very good friend, he (26) met a girl (25) on holiday in the summer, they fell for each other instantly and when back in the uk carried on seeing each other, 3months have passed and they are in a ...
A. 5 October 2013: Yes, my lovely hubby and I were once forced into a LDR for 18 months, right at the beginning of our relationship, and only saw each other every other weekend.
It was very hard to be apart, we loved each other so much (still do) and it broke ou... (read in full...)
Why so bitter, when he cheated on me?
Q. Hello guys. Could use your guidance please. Me and my ex split up about 3 months ago (he cheated on me). I still love him, but know the split was the right thing to do. I am upset about the split, but I do not hate him for it, nor am I angry a...
A. 5 October 2013: I've only just received your last post.
OK, so you're hurting and you've asked for advice.
We've explained why we think he might be hurting you but you respond with anger and aggression to us for the opinions YOU asked for.
If you know wha... (read in full...)
Why so bitter, when he cheated on me?
Q. Hello guys. Could use your guidance please. Me and my ex split up about 3 months ago (he cheated on me). I still love him, but know the split was the right thing to do. I am upset about the split, but I do not hate him for it, nor am I angry a...
A. 5 October 2013: He's still trying to control you.
He wants you to be thinking about him.
However, it's not because he still loves you but because he knows you still care about him and he wants to keep hurting you.
Block his number and delete his number. I... (read in full...)
Tiny boobs and a wierd vagina
Q. Hi please help! One of my labia minora is stretched, saggy and gross! Is there anything I can do and if not is it weird Also my breasts have been stuck at a 32a for a year now what does this mean? (My mother is a c aunty is a d as is cousin does t...
A. 5 October 2013: You are perfectly normal in all aspects emotionally and physically.
Your breasts will continue to develop for a good many years yet. Make sure you eat a healthy well balanced diet and take regular exercise to keep your body healthy for this ver... (read in full...)
He's in jail now. When he gets out do I tell him I was a prostitute and other things about my past?
Q. So I'm talking to a man, who is currently in prison for a charge he caught at 17, for burglary. He gets out in 12 days, and I plan on spending time with him. We write all the time and I have met him. My problem is, he wants to know me, like rea...
A. 5 October 2013: Thank you for your responses :)
You certainly sound to me like you've thought it through.
Please just don't be ashamed of your past, it has made you who you are and, if he's a lovely as he sounds, he will understand and respect the hardships yo... (read in full...)
He's in jail now. When he gets out do I tell him I was a prostitute and other things about my past?
Q. So I'm talking to a man, who is currently in prison for a charge he caught at 17, for burglary. He gets out in 12 days, and I plan on spending time with him. We write all the time and I have met him. My problem is, he wants to know me, like rea...
A. 4 October 2013: If you two are going to make a go of a relationship then you must be honest, about everything.
If you don't tell him and he finds out somehow, he'll wonder what else you've withheld and the relationship could falter.
If he can't handle it ... (read in full...)
Why so bitter, when he cheated on me?
Q. Hello guys. Could use your guidance please. Me and my ex split up about 3 months ago (he cheated on me). I still love him, but know the split was the right thing to do. I am upset about the split, but I do not hate him for it, nor am I angry a...
A. 4 October 2013: He cheated on you, but got caught out and lost you!
I think he's angry at himself (not for the act but for getting caught) but projecting it onto you because you ended the relationship and he lost his control over you.
Your ex is blaming you f... (read in full...)
In love with my late husband's brother - is it wrong?
Q. Hi! This is going to be long, so please be patient! I'm a widow. My husband died suddenly four years ago leaving me with three children, then aged six, three and one. I was devastated and it took me a long time to come to terms with his death. H...
A. 4 October 2013: I think it's lovely, who could be better for you than a man who knew your husband as well as you did, loved him as much as you, will happily talk about him, will not feel threatened by his memory and loves your children!
You didn't plan this, lo... (read in full...)
Long distance but in love what to do?
Q. Hey everybody! I feel really insecure about a boy i recently met. Just 2 weeks ago we met in a pub and hit it right of. I havent felt this way in a long long time! We only know eachother for 2 weeks but we text everyday and see eachother a lot. ...
A. 4 October 2013: All relationships have to be worked at but long distance relationships are really hard. That's not to say they can't work.
My husband and I started out with a LDR (hard to believe now) we had only been together a couple of weeks when circumst... (read in full...)
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