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Would you wait for him or ask him out yourself?

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Question - (27 July 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 27 July 2009)
A female Australia age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I met a guy online and within a week of emailing we arranged to meet up. We were going to play mini-golf but he made dinner reservations as well so we had dinner before the golf. We got along really well, had a great time at dinner and the golf and then spend an hour or so at a café having ice-cream. He subtly implied a few times that he’d want to see me again, saying next time we’ll…and so on. He didn’t make plans to see me again that night but said that he wanted to see me again. We parted with a hug and he kissed me on the cheek. He was a gentleman throughout the whole date. The next day he messaged me to thank me for a great date. I replied to him and told him I had a great time too. That was it. It’s only the beginning of the week after our sat night date so perhaps I’m being such a girl and being impatient.

If you were in this exact same situation, would you wait for him to ask you out or invite him out yourself?

From past experience I feel like if I have to ask it means he isn't that interested.

What do you think? Maybe he has other dates lined up so he doesn't want to committ to a second date with me just yet?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks GinsengMeow, I loved your answer, especially when you say "If the entirety of this world thought the way you did, then everyone will get no where."

I think you're right. I didn't have the time to contact him though because he called me himself.

I also liked your description of the 'gut feeling,' it really makes sense.

Thanks again!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009):

Then let's reverse your question around from his perspective:

"From past experience I feel like if I have to ask it means SHE isn't that interested."

That is a major flaw in the economics of love, or in this case, potential love. The rhetoric is: "Why does HE have to make the first move?" It could be a massive number of reasons why he doesn't make further plans with you. If the entirety of this world thought the way you did, then everyone will get no where.

However, if you are unwilling to take a chance, then don't. Mind you, sometimes, 'gut feelings' aren't really that accurate. 'Gut feelings' are just a combination of past experiences and psychological impediments that give individuals excuses to justify scenarios.

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