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anonymous
writes: I think the world of my girlfriend but she has put on so much weight, I find it difficult to fancy her anymore.I want to fancy her and I'm sticking by her but she seems to keep giving up on her weight loss programmne.I hate mentioning it to her because I don't want to hurt her but I just want to find her attractive again. I don't at the moment. Am I being selfish? or should I be cruel to be kind?Help!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2005): HiHow does your gf feel about her weight gain??If she wants to lose weight then maybe you could help her and encourage her. I understand that you dont like to mention it to her, if she is sensitive about it (and i guess most women would be) she may take it the wrong way. If on the other hand she broaches the subject then talk to her about it and maybe try and find a way in which you vcan help her.From my own personal experience, i put on weight after having my 2nd child, instead of encouragement from my partner, all i got was ridicule, nasty comments which in turn made me feel more depressed and i ate more. You might guess that i am no longer with that person and now have lost the weight, my new partner helped me, came to the gym with me, even cut down on food with me and that is such a great confidence booster, cuz he loves me for who i am and not what i look like.Remember that your gf is still the same person you fell in love with inside. Reassure her that you love her and give her some support.
A reader, rarebeauty, writes (5 March 2005): I don't think you are being selfish as there are health issues also to consider when a person puts on too much weight. To be supportive you should look at what you eat and the activities you do together, she is more likely to stick to something if you are both doing it together and a healthy eating lifesyle will not harm you in fact it would benefit you. After your evening meal, suggest going for a walk. Keep it light and romantic. Her weight loss will begin hapening when she is happy, and romance will blossom again the more time you spend together. Give it a try. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2005): This is a hard subject to bring up to any women. My girl too has a weight problem I find it best to just do activites with her like bringing her along with me to the the gym and saying lets try this new diet together. ITs best to do all of these things with her so that she doent feel alone. After a trip or two to the gym tell her that she looks like she lost a few pds. and looks beuatiful and then keep encourgaging her. Mix it up sometimes take a hike through the woods or ext. so that she does not get bored. When she realizes that she's losing weight and likes her appearance better it will keep her motivated to keep going to the gym.
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