A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so me and my fiance split up about a month ago and now we are back together but his family has a huge problem with it.They are so mean to me and have been since day one! We broke up because they felt that I was not good enough for him and he could do better... and in the past month that we were broke up, I was a total emotional wreck b/c I knew that they had alot to do with it. This guy (we'll call him "Jon")....Jon loves me so much and I know it's true. I love him just as much, we have planned to get married but are holding it off for awhile until we can get things straightened out better between each other and our familes. The thing is, his family does not know for a FACT that we are back together but they are very suspicious and me n "Jon" both know that if they do find out, they will flip out and start a whole bunch of drama and throw a whole buynch of guilt trips on him for being with me. I'm not scared that he will leave me because of this b/c I have done nothing to them, honestly. We broke up a month ago b/c we were living together and we were basically just getting too stressed out to even communicate right, but now we're getting back on track. We want to be together and work things out together but how are both to do that when we constantly have to lie to his fmaily about him being with me? He said that he would tell them in 2 weeks tha we are and he is getting very upset with them (his mom,cousin,and aunt) calling his phone all the time asking him questions like "where are you at?", where are you going?" are you sure you're not lying to us?"How ridiculous!!!!!!!He is 22 year old now he can do whatever he wants to but I understand he wants to keep the drama down and wait a little bit before he tells them that way we have time to work things out without having them on our minds stressing us out.I am trying not to lose my temper which is something I used to have a problem with but I am getting better with medicine and by studying the Bible,going to church counseling, and watching my mouth and finding nother non violent ways to handle my anger other than how I used to and "JON" sees this.....But his family is really making me mad b/c like I said, they don't know, but they are suspicious, calling him all the time (he lives with them for Christ's sake!!!!!!!) and leaving mean voice mails on his phone, even cussing him out "if he is with me".I feel so bad for him bc I understand he doesn't wanna fight with them and neither do I but at the same time, someone needs to put them in their place and I know I cant do it...and "JON" is not quite ready for that yet....but he is getting very ill with them.What do you think we should do? I think they are being so stupid and need to let him make his own decisions and be happy for him no matter what he decides to do but we can't control them, we can only control how we react to them so what should me and "Jon" do????...We've been together almost 2 years and plan on forever.Well, I'm not dating his family or marrying them so I am not going to NOT be with him just because they don't like me.I really could care less what they want but when it comes to them mistreating me or him, yeah I care and yeah it is worth it. They dont have to like me and I dont have to like them, but they can respect us. .MAYBE IN SOME'S "OPINION" OR "FAMILY" BUT NOT IN MINE OR MY FIANCE. WE CAN HAVE EACH OTHER AND OUR FAMILY, I DON'T HAVE TO BE AROUND IS THOUGH!SO WE'RE JUST SUPPOSED TO KISS THEIR *** AND BOW DOWN TO THEIR EVERY NEED?DON'T THINK SO. IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE THINKS AND I HAVE MY FIANCE BY MY SIDE SO THAT'S ALL THAT REALLY MATTERS TO ME!
View related questions:
broke up, fiance, split up, violent Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): He needs to stand up to them if he really wants to be with you. You are right you are not with them you are with him! At the same time he is keeping you safe from their mouths. He needs to explain to them that you two are happy and he is a big boy and can decide for himself. Yes they should be happy that he is happy. Honestly it is not their choice! Kill them with kindness. Don't show them they are hurting you or your relationship. All parents think their kids can do better its a proven fact no parent will ever be satisfied with all the decisions their kids make! Just ignore them let them say what they want they will get bored with picking on you only if you don't show them they are getting to you! And yes he need to be honest with them and get it over with they will find out eventually the sooner the better. Maybe you should ask them what they would like you do to gain their approval although it really don't matter. It will work out but just be there for him. Gain all his approval love and affection. Best of luck honey be patient!!!
|
