A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I work as a manager for a small office. I've always tried to be pleasant with my staff (all women) by saying "Good morning" asking how they're kids are doing (when they've been sick) occasionally saying, "Oh, I like what you've done to your hair" when they come in with something new. They hardly say two words to me in return. When I have staff meetings, I try to get input from them so they feel like their opinions are valued; they act like they could care less; roll their eyes or whatever. I'm not a push over but I always try to be kind and when I ask someone to do something I use a pleasant tone of voice, not bossy or rude. When they do something well, I compliment them and I've gone to bat for them as far as raises go etc. Yet a fellow manager (much younger than me) runs our sister office; She's bossy and mean and always talks down to my staff and to me. I tried to speak with my boss, who basically ignores her behavior. Finally after months of putting up with it, I told her nicely that I was sure she didn't mean come across this way, but she often sounds angry and it puts everyone on edge. After that, she was sticky sweet to my staff, winning them over with her fakeness, while continuing to be rude to me. Now my employees are acting just like her. It's so annoying because my own boss just buries his head in the sand and I hate to make waves. I always try to do my job well and treat people with respect, why is it I never get any in return? I used to think "oh well, it's lonely at the top" but the job I had prior to this, I was not in management. I worked in a large office and none of the women ever warmed up to me. When I'd bump into some of them in the coffee room, I'd try to make conversation with some of them or invite a few to lunch. They always shunned me. It seems like when I was in my 20's it was so easy to make friends and everyone loved me; but once you pass 40 people treat you like you've got the plague. It feels like the whole world has gone mad. Is it me?....
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010): My advice to you is to just collect a paycheck and go home at the end of the week. Who gives two shits what anyone thinks, tell them all to screw themselves and quit being so nice to a bunch of slackers.
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