A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why is it that when a girl is 16 years old and a guy is 19 years old and they are dating, it seems like a large age gap. However, when the girl is 17/18 and the guy is 20/21 it doesn't really seem like a big deal.Is it because at 17 your mind is more mature? I'm just wondering because I'm 16 (17 in five months)and I'm dating a guy who is 19 (20 in three months).When I tell people, they think it's weird, but when I tell them that hes going to be 20 soon and I'm going to be 17 soon they end up saying "Oh thats okay then".I really don't get it. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, happytobe  +, writes (4 June 2009):
 I think that it has something to do with the stages that you're in, in your life at that point. A 16 year old is just starting to drive, excited about things like concerts and hanging out with groups of friends. A 19 year old is probably consumed in college, studying, parties with crazy amounts of alcohol, it's not really a commitment stage. It's a stage to find out who you are and the type of person you want to be with. A 16 year old is wanting that high school boyfriend, or to flirt with lots of different boys. A 19 year old is either looking for just hook ups, or lots of different types of people to date. And i doubt that they really think it's okay when you say he'll be 20 and you 17, it's probably just that you defended your different ages so they tell you it's okay to keep from causing conflict. If you two are in love, or even really like each other, and you feel that you can carry on a fullfilling, happy, committed relationship then don't even worry about what people think. As long as you're happy then I'm happy and everyone else should be too!
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