A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am a 40 year old man, my partner is 28.We met at work nearly 10 years ago, at the time I was going through a bad split from my wife, and we had two small children, we had split a few times and got back together but it was not working.Meeting my new partner was like a fresh of breath air, I was 30, she was just 18, for obvious reasons her parent were dead set against us, as were seom friends who said it would not last.We started living together a few months later after I had moved back to my parents after my recent split, for a while I saw my children every other weekend, and life continued, although my relationship with my ex wife was difficult and she hated my new partner, although I fail to see why as she was not involved or the reason for the split.Back in 2004, I received a short prison sentence for being involved in a fight at a football match, my partner stood by me, my ex wife initially refused to let me see my children once I was released, but that all smoothed over.Since then I have changed my lifestyle in terms of not being involved in the football violence, new job, new responsibilites as a volunteer for a social club.My partner is one of the kindest, sweetest people you can meet, intelligent with her I.T. career, sometimes scatty and dozy with general life but a good person.My issue is that I fly off the handle (not violently I would add)at the smallest thing, I can get frustrated very quickly and use foul language to vent my anger, I can sulk for hours and be churlish.Why do I do this, do I have unresolved issues, do I need physchiatric help or relationship guidance, she does not deserve this, of course we argue sometimes and it is not always my fault but I am becoming more worried as to why I can be so moody and offish for no apparent reason.Thank you
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at work, ex-wife, got back together, my ex, violent Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, baby duck  +, writes (7 December 2007):
 WOW! I am so impressed that you see where you need to change. It sounds like your partner is a lovely whole woman that you love, warts and all.
Do you think that you might get frustrated easily, lose patience, and sulk because you don't feel understood? If the thought of pondering your thoughts and feelings makes you want to jump off a cliff, then try journaling and/or talk therapy so you can figure things out on your own before trying to articulate them.
I am a big fan of journaling. I have uncovered some major flaws of mine this year with it. Yeah...that and counseling. I like talk therapy because I figure out my own answers, as opposed to a doctor telling me what I need to do. Maybe they'll work for you, too.
She's a lucky woman, having a man that realizes he's human and has flaws, and wants to figure them out. And you can communicate, too! Huge ... just huge in my book.
Best wishes to both of you.
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