A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Why can't my mom trust me? I'm 14, about to go into high school. My best friend has invited me to go to her beach house with her and her family. My parents said I could go, so I immediately started packing. I packed most of my clothes (the others were in the dryer) and my mom called me over. She asked if i had enough clothes, toiletries, etc. That's fine, but since theres a big chance we might go out to dinner, i packed a more pulled together outfit. She asked to see it, and then complained that it was too dark and wintry. It was short sleeved and was a nice shade of green. It would have been fine. She complained about it until i had enough and finally just went upstairs. I out it in my bag, fully intending to bring it. I went downstairs and took care of some things, while she went through my ENTIRE bag and sorted everything into little piles. I went back upstairs and almost half of my bag was thrown on the ground. My dresser had been raided, and outfits my mom approved of were folded nicely on my bed. The green shirt was ripped up in the trash.(she claims it was ratty. I've worn that thing to school for a long time and she didn't say anything then.)After I asked her what the hell happened, she said she went through my bag and none of my outfits worked and that i packed winter pajamas (just the bottoms. none of my summer pj bottoms fit) and all this other stuff. She then said that after dinner she would pack with me and She would approve all of my outfits and such. Not even all of my clothes were in there!! I got really mad and asked why I can't pack on my own and she said well you packed two pairs of gray shorts you didn't even realize did you?! I did, i packed those because they were my friends and I had to give them back. but she doesn't believe me.I know its a trivial thing like clothes, but this type of thing happens all the time! its my life, why can't she just butt out and trust that I will make the right choice!? I know I'm young, but I can be trusted with some things!Sorry it was so long. thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2011): You are very lucky to have a mom like yours. Some people don't have mothers, some mothers don't even know what their child is doing and thus, the child thinks their free and goes on the worng path.
No matter how old you are, your her child. She loves you. She doesn't want you to grow up and do your own thing,she still wants to pack your things and all. Don't be angry. When you'll get married, then you'll miss her.
Take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2011): AHaha this reminds me of me, my sister is 13 and I loveeeee going into her room dressing her up for school the next day. Whenever she picks something out, I'm like "ehhh...i dont know, maybe try this..." I do it because I like too, and I want her to look cute for school, i don't do it because 'i dont trust her', your mother doesn't mean any harm, she just...wants you to be able to look nice infront of your friend's family. I'm sure you picked out nice clothes, but...moms can be moms! I am 20 years old, and i still ask my mom's advice on outfits, "does this look okay?"! Its normal! This is part of life! You are trusted, and you will eventually make your own choices...but you are now 14, it won't be long until you are ALLLLL grown up, and leaving the house. She might be having trouble noticing that...and is trying to enjoy, and pamper you all she can. Ya know?
I don't know when your trip is, but..maybe you could get a small grocery bag or something and put the clothes you DO want in the bag...and keep it next to the bush, or door..so whenever you leave...you just grab it from hidden spot without her knowing.
goodluck!
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (24 June 2011):
 It doesn't matter how old you are sometimes, mother's always beleive they can pack better than you :)
Look, I know it can be intensely irritating, but those of us who are older than you know that we've all been there and done that. Let it be. Pack your favourite things again later. Have a chat with your mother in a non-confrontational way.
You'll move out eventually and there's probably be a time when you wish you had someone to take care of packing and arranging your stuff.
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