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female
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Jas
writes: I have been married for 8 years and from the day we got married I have been really unhappy. Anyway to make matters worse I had a baby and things have got from bad to worse. Anyway I met a guy in a club a few months back and he knew I was married and so on, but we started seeing each other although he did have his reservations. He has now called it off twice and said it's because I am married when he knew that all along. I really did fall for him big time and just wish I could get over him. Why do I keep on doing this to myself? Why can't I just be happy with what I have got at home??? Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2006): I'm feeling the same way. I have a wonderful boyfriend who adores me and is truly perfect.. but for some reason I don't feel the same way about him. I'm infatuated with this other guy. My friends all tell me I am beautiful and I can easily get any guy I wanted, but why can't I have the one guy I want?
A
female
reader, Sahuaro +, writes (21 February 2006):
I don't know the answer to that question...because I'm looking for the same answer. I have been married for 13 years to an absolutely wonderful man who completely loves and adores me. He treats me like gold. He is truly a very special man. Therefore, there should be no problem, right? Wrong. I have never stopped loving a young man that I dated some 20 years ago. He was not my "first love" either. I was in my early 20s and we dated for a few years. I believed in my heart that he and I would marry one day. It didn't happen. He lied to me about going out with "the guys" and my mother and I walked out of a restaurant the same time he was walking out of a movie theater hand-in-hand with another woman. I have never gotten over the hurt. I feel it daily. While I have forgiven him for what he did, I have never stopped loving him. I'm not happy in my life - in any part of it. So, I don't know the answer to that question, but I would love to find someone who has the answer. The question for me is how do I go on with my life, be happy with what God has given me and blessed me with for a husband, and put this former relationship that I still carry in my heart away? My husband does not deserve me. The guilt I carry each day is enormous. There are days when I just want to die.
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female
reader, Delirius +, writes (26 September 2005):
Why me! Good Grief your not only doing it to yourself, you are doing it to your husband and your boyfriend and your child as well! Why exactly are you unhappy? Are you not friends with your husband at all? If not, why the hell are you stringing him along? Your boyfriend is probably feeling equally led on. If you have really fallen for him big time and your not happy with hubby, why is there even a question? Were you ever happy with your husband? If so, have you thought about at what point you became unhappy? If you are so unhappy, this filters into your everyday activity and has a powerful effect on your child and could be making your husband equally unhappy. Go to a doctor, therapist or whatever, but talk to someone not emotionally invested in you, they may be able to help.
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A
female
reader, karensue +, writes (26 September 2005):
I think you need to leave your husband even if it don't work out with your boyfriend. You said you were never happy with your husband, so it isn't fair to him. It sounds like the boyfriend wants you to his self. He don't want to share you with a husband. He excepted in the beginning, because his feelings weren't as strong as they are now.
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