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What's that smell? My fella has no respect for cleanliness!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 October 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 4 October 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *atbabe102 writes:

I have been in a relationship with my partner (whom i have a 3month old baby with) for nearly 4 years now. Since the beginning I noticed I would have to mention to him to bath/ brush teeth/ etc, as I noticed he would simply not do these things. I, am a very clean person, reall hygienic, especially with having a newborn baby in the house. i have listed his problems regarding (lack of) hygiene below - does anyone have any idea how i can approach him, as I really am embarassed to say anything to him. I know it sounds so silly! But its gettin me really down, and i am arguing with him alot, over small things, when i know deep down, it is his dirtiness which is really the reason why im so on edge.

flaky, gunky, terrible smelling ear wax (he regularly digs at his ears, but stops immediately if he see s me watching, and pretends he s doing something else)

never brushes his teeth

wears little/no aftershave

contant playing/fiddling with his genitals.

Sounds like a great man doesnt he haha! I really am at my wits end with this. I hate him touching the baby as sometimes his smell is transderred onto my baby. What should I do. I do love him, and he is a great man, and father. Just has hygiene issues (this is in turn affecting our sex life as I do not like touching him)... ... ...

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A female reader, catbabe102 United Kingdom +, writes (4 October 2007):

catbabe102 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you for your responses. I'm just too embarassed to approach him about it. I don't know what, as I'm a pretty loud and outspoken person.. . . I still dont know what to do!! :(

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007):

Phill is absolutely right. You must be completely honest. Theres no room for being tactile with this situation. Explain to him the importance of him being clean for himself and for you. Tell him that you find the stink he gives off repulsive and that you do not want to be near him. Im sure he cant be blind to how he smells?

It is hurtful but you are the closest person to him and it is your duty to put him straight. If he cant do it for himself then he should beable to do it for you. It not a big ask, personal hygiene is very important and he needs to set an example for his child.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007):

You have to be straightforward about this. No beating around the bush.

Tell him he stinks, his breath stinks, his dick stinks and the smell of him is making you feel sick. Show him where the bath / shower / soap is located, and how to use it, get him a new toothbrush and demonstrate the use thereof. Tell him that until he cleans up his act, the legs are remaining firmly shut, which should concentrate his mind.

Phil

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