A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is a long story, but I'm gonna try and keep it short.I met a girl online about two years ago, and ended up in a long-distance relationship with her. I love her very much, and she says she loves me too, and I believe her. Our relationship is very exclusive.We live on opposite sides of the US, so it's a bit difficult. I have only been able to see her once in person, about a year ago, for a few days. We had a lot of fun, it was a wonderful time.Unfortunately, my parents hate her family, don't like her very much, and think that the relationship is unhealthy.Now, I'm a very social person, and I get out and do a lot of things - parties, volunteer work, etc. I don't only talk to her. However, my parents say I should "get out more" - and by that they mean date more people.They have even gone as far as to threaten to "force" me to break up with her.Now, I don't want to break up with her, because I feel very attached to her, and we are a very loving couple. However, I don't like the idea of a pointless relationship either. We don't know for sure when we may see each other next (although we have some ideas that may or may not work out). We think that we - again, MAYBE - will be able to go to college in the same area, but that's unsure.What should I do? I feel torn, and a bit disillusioned about it all. Thank you so much for your help. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2011): I know plenty of people who chose there univeristy based on continuing a relationship with their significant other...and they weren't virtual partners either. These were really well intention people like yourself who dated their partner all through highschool.
I do not remember one couple that stayed together through freshman year.
I don't think their lack of love for each other, I think it was just the context of a new environment and realizing they had a lot more options open to them.
I'm not saying it's impossible that you can't go to the same school as her and "maybe" as you say be happy, I'm just saying that it's unlikely given how much you will develop as an individual in the next couple years.
Long distance tends not to work. Love on the computer is no substitute for the love that comes from a real person.
Your parents are perhaps narrow minded for hating a stranger and perhaps they are patronising towards you... but are you insisting on this relationship just because you don't want them to be correct about their instincts?
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