A
male
age
26-29,
*ix_Floors_Left
writes: My girlfriend and I have been dating for 7 months now. We're both 17 and we both are interested in a long-term relationship. We've pretty much got it figured that we're going to be together forever. But lately I've been realizing that she's been sad. She has plenty of reason to be, her stepdad has a disease and will be passing on soon, tension in her house is high, and whatever else she worries about. Well I used to be the same way a couple years ago, but I managed to change by not worrying as much. The way I think now is like, if I were in her position, I would acknowledge that my stepdad was sick, but I wouldn't worry about it too much until his final days, and I would try to take steps to avoid arguments with family members. But she doesn't think that way and completely refuses to. The real problem I have is that she's accepted being unhappy because she says she's been like that for about 5 years and it's all she knows. It pisses me off (excuse the language) that she realizes the problem but will do nothing at all to fix it. She's worried that I'm going to leave her because of it. We've been arguing pretty much every other day now about the same thing over and over with no luck, but each time it seems like we're growing further and further apart. Mind you the days that we see each other (maybe once or twice a week now) bring us closer together, it's still difficult. I'm not going to leave her because I want things to work out so badly because she's the girl I want to spend my life with. We just need some help getting some kind of understanding of each other. If anyone can help at all, that'd be great. Thanks ahead of time. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Six_Floors_Left +, writes (10 November 2011):
Six_Floors_Left is verified as being by the original poster of the question I love your idea of supporting her to find help, but she's against it. She took medication for depression for a few years and then went to see a counselor who, according to her, just called her fat and worthless. Now, I'm aware that her counselor most likely didn't say those things, but I think my girlfriend is unable to deal with help in that way. Asking her to do something like that is only going to start another argument because it has before.
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