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male
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*ettingBitter
writes: Am I expecting too much?I'm 23, my girlfriend is 22.We are currently living together and all talks of marriage and kids are in the works, however no time in the NEAR future. SO needless to say things are fairly seriously.For the past few months I've been feeling like I have more of a room-mate whom I have intimate relations with rather than a girlfriend.Our work schedules are very different from eachothers.I am at work by 8am and home by 4pm, where she is at work my 11am and home by 9 pm. She and I get ONE day a week together where we're both not working.That day has just been lost due to her work wanting more out of her, so now she's working 6 days a week and always doing extra work when she's at home, and shortening our time together even more.I'm beginning to get very frustrated with the lack of time, but when we do spend time together we're always at each others' throats with some sort of tiff, or else everything is ALWAYS un-eventful (Tv or movie).and our love life has resulted to whenever she wants, and being as i'm desperate for a shag or anything for that matter. i take it, but still i'm giving myself more pleasure than she is,I've also been noticing little things that have changed, our household is getting very untidy because I've given up being the home-maker because I seem to be the only one who has time to do it, and her duties have been slipping as well.I wake up with her turned away from me every day, where as before i woke up with me wrapped around her or vice versa...I'm starting to seek out attentiion in other places ..sadly from other females and have come very close to acting upon these opportunities, but being faithful to her I havent, but every day is getting closer and closer to seeking out the pleasure and satisfaction i want, simply because I feel overlooked and under-appreciated.Am I simply being a baby over the fact that I don't get enough tim with her, or am I right to be feeling discarded and disconnected. help!-GB
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2006): If your gf really valued your relationship she could always get another job in which she worked more normal hours - and then you'd both have more time together. It sounds as though she has plenty of time for her employment but not for her bf, or for doing her fair share around the house. I am a Christian however unlike the other responses you've had I do not think it is God who is giving her long hours. She is chosing to stay in that job and to work those hours. We all have choices. I certainly don't think she should be doing all the work around the house - it should be relatively equal - however I think it is wrong that you should do all the housework because she chooses to work long hours.
HOWEVER all of that is no excuse for you to be unfaithful. If you are not feeling satisfied with your relationship then talk to her about it and then if nothing changes you are better to end things then let them carry on and be unfaithful. You should either stay with her and be faithful or end the relationship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2006): Your being selfish and inconsiderate. Did it ever occur to you that maybe she has no control over what her employer demands from her? She is more than likely more frustrated than you are, but is trying to be responsible and thinking of your future together. You are only looking for an excuse to cheat on her and validate it within your own mind.
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A
female
reader, Tine  +, writes (3 September 2006):
 well i think time is very important within a relationship and it does sound as though you both dont get enough time together. However if she is working all the hours god sends her why do you both result in an arguement and fight within the precious time you have with each other. Have you actually sat down and talked through things with her?? Communication is vital within a relationship also and it does sound as though she doesnt know exactly how you feel about this situation. You both need to sit down and figure out a an easier method to making this relationship work. Seeking attention from other females because you are not getting any is no way out, and if you're not careful one day you will actually cheat. Then where will that leave you?? If you are the only one who has time to clean your house and do chores then why have you given up? This may cause outher arguments too because at the end of the day, why should your girlfriend work all the hours god sends her to come home to a dirty house?? You need to concentrate on make life better for the both for you and by having a nice home to live in it will create an atmosphere of peace and tranquility. So put the effort in and maybe when she realises how you feel and sees you putting the effort in then maybe she'll start too. Also how about trying to book a weekend away for the both of you, to both relax and share a romantic time together as a couple as you dont seem to be doing any of that at the moment. Good luck!!
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