A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I had lunch with my ex two times in less than a week. We broke up a little over three months ago due to his problem with impotance (ed). When we broke up he told me it was due to lack of chemistry and wanted to remain friends. I doubt it since we tried to get together a few times. He took sex very seriously and has never slept with any other women except for the two women he was married to. We got along very well otherwise and had no other major issues in the relationship. We have both tried dating since then. I have been doing online dating with no real luck. I realized after our first lunch that I still have feelings for him. After the second lunch I asked him if he would think about getting back together. At first he told me he just wanted to be friends and gave me a hug. I went on to tell him more of how I felt and we ended up hugging a few more times. He also put his face next to mine almost like he was thinking of kissing me. I asked him just to think about it. Before going to the car he even grabbed my hand. As he drove off he even waved to me. I sent him an email a short time later telling him how scared I was telling him how I felt and it is scary starting over, but is better than not doing anything a possibly losing out on something really great. I told him if the answer is no, he didn't have to say anything and we would remain friends. If it is yes, he knows where to reach me. I want to know what his reactions mean? What should I do next?
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reader, shane in dallas +, writes (11 October 2009):
 First of all, you put your heart out there and you deserve an answer. The option of "not saying anything" doesn't give closure. The option of "think about it first and then answer" brings solution. I believe if you love someone you should say it because I agree that the possibility of losing out on something great is a haunting feeling that never goes away. If his Erectile Disfunction is his issue, then perhaps in time he'd see you understand and not be embarrassed to deal with it with you. Especially since there are so many ways to solve it.
So, that being said... What you should do next: If you're trying to be friends in the meantime, then be friends. You know him, so do things together you both enjoy -- and be totally cute while you do it. Be just a little flirty within your boundaries, actions speak louder than words and he'll get the message without you having to bring it up and making it awkward. He'll bring it up at some point and then you can take it from there...
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