A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I are planning on getting a house next year together. We have been living together since we we first started dating which will be 4 years in March. We have known eachother for about 8 years altogether. I'm 26, he is 24. I love him with all my heart and would hope to someday get married to him. I have been hinting around about him getting me a ring to try and just get the ball rolling, but it don't seem he's going to take any initiative into buying a ring for me. I would like to get at least engaged before we buy a house so I can have that promise at least we'll get married SOMETIME in the future. Is it wrong of me to want that to happen before we make a huge commitment as in buying a house? I don't know if he understands that I just want that promise, which I have told him, or he just don't want to get married. It's hard to talk to him about cuz he never wants to when I bring it up. I just keep thinking for some reason that he's just trying to leave his options open or something. Please let me know what you think of this. Thanks!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): I can understand that you want the engagement. You are looking for that extra little security. Nothing wrong to feel that way before commiting yourself financially with a house.
Try to talk to him, but if that is not possible, write him a very nice letter. Explain to him how you feel and take it from there.
Good luck and keep us posted.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): Do not buy a house or any large-ticket item together until you're engaged and a wedding date is set. I've known several people who have done this thinking they would get married, and it didn't happen. Break-ups are really hard, but are a lot worse when you have something concrete that binds you together when you want to go your separate ways.
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