A
female
age
41-50,
*en2
writes:Hi,I just found out I am pregnant, it wasn't planned. My partner and I have always said we would wait till later in life to discuss children as we are both just not ready yet. I have told my partner who is my whole world and he took the news well at first, He was not happy but he said he would support any decision I made because at the first scan there was a faint heartbeat so there was a chance I could miscarry. I suppose he thought this was the best thing. Now though it looks as though the pregnancy is healthy and for the past few days he has become distant, worried and generally won't come near me, I think he sees me as a problem now not as his girlfriend, everything has changed, I was so happy before this happened, how do we get back to normal? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jen2 +, writes (8 May 2009):
Jen2 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey,
Thanks for the answers. Made alot of sense. The title put on the question was a little wrong, he has never been unsupportive. We had a long talk the other day, he was scared, more so for me! He just didn't want me to feel pressured into anything. I know things are different but hopefully we will carry on talking and can get back on track whatever happens.
Thanks again, feel better for sharing.
A
male
reader, Rogerramjet  +, writes (7 May 2009):
I was the male in a similar situation. I was dating a girl.. It had actually turned into a long distance relationship of sorts...To be honest I was considering ending the whole deal, and then she informed me she was pregnant.
I have to admit at first I did not take it very well. You have to understand that an unexpected pregnancy is about the most stunning thing that can happen to a guy, i think. My first impulse to the whole ordeal was "we are not ready for this. We have to get an abortion".. Of course my partner insisted that she would NEVER have an abortion and that she was going to have this baby.. At that point, i had to really do some soul-searching to try to figure out if i could deal with this or no... I definitely became distant, worried, terrified.. Afraid to even touch my partner.. I didn't think i was ready for this change, and my partner (to her credit) basically dropped an ultimatum on me: put up or shut up and get out. "If you don't want this baby with me, then get out of my life right now because i can do this on my own."
Somehow, seeing her strength in that moment really helped me to come to grips with the whole deal..
That may be something that you have to do.
Now i was still terrified about this whole situation up until the very moment of my son's birth...I doubted myself, had fears, questioned if I could handle this...
I suppose all i can offer is: If he is still standing with you, even though he is distant and scared, then...that's a good sign.
...............................
|
