A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, my boyfriend have been doubting about us. As a result he can't get physically intimate with me. He says he loves me and has a great time. When I ask if he wants to take a break and start seeing each other, he says he doesn't want to or the thought has not crossed his mind. However he is uncertain about a future with me. We've been together for 18months now and he has been thinking about how this relationship might progress and he isn't sure. We do have a wonderful time together and we do feel close to each other. During our last holiday, physical intimacy wasn't an issue, but as soon as we got back within a few weeks, we hit the slump again. I'm not suggesting that physical intimacy is all I care for, but for a relationship to work this is part of it. Should I just walk away from it now? It hurts me alot because I can see us together, but I cannot force that feeling onto him and I don't want to. Should I just walk away now to save us from more pain? Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): Hi, You dont say how long this doubting has ben going on , but i'm in a very similar situation, just the opposite way round .Funnily enough I had a fabulous weekend away with my boyfriend , but when we came back to the reality it all started to go wrong again , mine however is fuel led by some underlying problems , which I dare say yours maybe ?? I think you should ask him outright , without being too harsh , what exactly his doubts actually are? You may find there is a specific underlying problem , which he may feel is difficult to approach with you , but given an ultimatum type of question he may confess. It's very difficult i know , on both sides, but it may just do the trick. and if youre already contemplating walking away , than make sure , he's had every opportunity to give you a reason for th doubts. try to make a date , somewhere neutral , and ask him outright for a reason , tell him that youre thinking of giving up if he wont give you a real answer? Hopefully he'll realise what he may lose, or tell you whats going wrong , give you the opportunity to face any problerms and work through them
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