A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I have a pretty serious love problem. I am and have been in love with this girl almost my entire life. We have always been very close friends, but lately it has become too much to bare. She makes an effort to see me (like visits at work), as do I, but I don't know if it's pure friendship or more. She jokes (or I think) about getting married some day, but I've been tagged "friend". I get told that she misses me, but then some days it takes a few hours for a simple reply to a txt message (excuses usually to follow). Being friends for so long, and knowing each other that well makes it very hard to discern genuine interest from friendship, and the usual signs don't apply. I decided to tell her how I feel for honesty's sake, but added that I don't expect anything as we both recently got out of relationships. She mentioned the bad timing (justified), and then became vague as to the possibility of something later on. I mentioned that I would like to see her more often, but want her to know what my intentions are... this wasn't shot down (being polite?).So... I'm now very confused as to whether to pursue it or to just move on. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, as this girl is very special to me, and given the opportunity I would give her the love most women could only dream about...
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female
reader, Neferterie  +, writes (29 March 2009):
 Wow, I wish some guy would come after me like this. *sigh*
anyways...on to helping you...
Since she jokingly talks about you two getting married she must have some sort of romatic feelings for you on some level, now its your job to bring those feelings from the basement to the main floor. If I were you I'd tell her, when you two are alone: (I'm just going to call her Jamie okay?) "Jamie I have very deep romantic feelings for you, and have for some time now. I love you, and I would never want to hurt you, do you think you could ever love me too?"
And go from there, please remember that you could be rejected, and you need to be ready for this. But you could also be put into a loving relationship.
Please keep us informed! And good luck!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThnx to everyone trying to help, it is appreciated...
I'm just scared that this is a fairy tale that ends in tears. I'll give it fair time... What's fair? I'm not wondering another 6 years...
I do love her, but if it's not gonna happen then I have to let her go completely. I can't go round caring for a girl so much that no other can even wish to compare, and have it be unrequited.
How do I know if she's being polite? If I'm wasting my time? Should I wait for her to make contact/bring it up? (I know someone answered this already, thnx, would just like a female take on it) ;)
Thanks in advance...
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A
female
reader, oiais +, writes (23 March 2009):
I believe you should wait for her. A good friend like that would not give you false hope for the future.
It takes a great man to wait for someone. I do hope you get the girl ^_^
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): here's what you doLEAVE!get the hell out and don't talk to her. that's not to say you should do an about turn when you see her walking down the street, but just don't talk to her, don't text or call her, if she calls, let it ring then a.) you tell her you're busy or b.) if you are busy, then STAY BUSY!eventually you'll move on and find some other girl, or she'll come crawling to you asking what she can do to have you in her life againeither way you're out of your situation and moving on to bigger and better things
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009): give her time :)
then go for it! you two sound like soulmates =) x
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