A
male
age
41-50,
*ostbird
writes:beating my brain and heart here. here is where my 1st was:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/can-anyone-help-me-i-feel-i-am.htmlone of my best friends has now confess to me that she has always had feelings for me. I often though many times what life would be like if we had gotton together. She has been there forever for me and when we are together life and time goes by perfectly. I often hear people say you two look like such a great couple it is nice to see people like that. We hear this all the time. She has told me manmy times to get out of my toxic marriage (as many people have) now she tells me these feelings she has always had for me. We went out for dinner one night then back to her place for a drink when I was ready to leave she gave me a wonderful kiss. I was lost in her for that moment. We kissed again. this has been now going on for a few weeks now. We both feel so stong for one and other but she knows my ugly situation and even though I 100% plan on leaving my wife (planned this long before any affection between my friend and I) after the new year. I feel bad for my daughter cause I did this. I think about this girl day in and day out, she says the same about me. We see each other everyday as we work next door to each other. I miss her when I am at home and she misses me when she is alone. Sorry for the long post but at 37 years old I am stuck in a marriage that has hit bottom for the last time, however are my feelings and actions just in spite of my current situation? I can honestly say I did not even feel this way (strong) about my wife when we first started dating.this girl makes me smile,feel happy,feel warm,feel alive again,feel wanted.And she says all the same things about me. She says all the little things I do for her fix something around her house,wash her car,take out her garbage,make her coffee, just ask her how her day went. I do these things now at home and it is never good enough.Again sorry for the long post just wondering what some people think?Please everyone have a safe and happy holiday.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2009): Leave the wife and follow your heart. You will never be able to mend the marriage as you always wonder what you missed. I hope you are right about your wife being fair where it concerns your kid. I agree with the previous writer - all hell will break lose if the wife finds out about the mistress. Be fair to your wife , if you cannot love her and be with her the way she deserves, set her free as everyone deserves to be loved.
A
male
reader, lostbird +, writes (18 December 2009):
lostbird is verified as being by the original poster of the question I 1000% agree with you. I have made the decision to leave my wife before this "other relationship" came up. please read my 1st post. My wife always said that if we ever did grow apart the one thing is she would never never make our daughter have a hard time between the two of us. She said she would never keep my daughter awy from me. I honestly believe that. I have no problem going on life being alone (for now) my wife and I have tried working things out many times before, we tried councelling that was a flop.
thank-you for your reply and thoughts.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2009): Coming from someone about half your age, I have a few things I have to say after reading your previous and current situation.
You could indeed be taking out a lot of the attention you've been looking for on your friend...but it feels like that the love you have with your friend has been growing for some time. It did not come out from thin air...at least that's what I assume. If you are unsure about your feelings for your new love, then think back on your friendship with her...ask yourself if that is what you've always wanted. Clear your mind of your burdens like your ex love. Include in your mind, your lovely daughter whom you so deeply care about.
If you feel like you've already moved on from your marriage then I think you should indeed pursue this new found love. I say that because you said in your last post, you were both unhappy for well over two years. I don't think you need a piece of paper to tell you when your heart is ready to move on.
About your daughter, you've clearly seen the negative side of things since you think it is holding you back from being a good father. I'm here to say that, I think you will be a better father, being a better person with someone who brings out the best in you, while you bring out the best in that person. So hurry up with that divorce and get all that paper work done.
Your new love obviously thinks better of you, and it is up to you to see what she sees in you. There is no need to change since you've clearly found a better lover...from a friendship that has blossomed into something great. A bigger bonus...your friends clearly approve of the both of you...I am sure they would only want to see you happy, spreading your wings to be the person they know you to be. In my view you should pursue this new love of yours...but be careful about letting others know. Wait until the red tape is done...THEN let everyone know.
Maybe it seems weird because the timing seems off. Maybe it is happening too fast...or maybe not fast enough.
Just remember that Time waits for no one. Don't always look at the bad of things, because there is always a good side. I'd say a lot of people are happy for you after being emotional brought down for so long. I think a lot would also say to tread carefully in case there are any legal problems to be held if the wrong ear should find out.
Happy Holidays ^_^
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