A
female
age
41-50,
*onee
writes:I have liked the same guy for a year. Everyday I awake up thinking about him, go to bed hoping tomorrow I will not think of him. We live in different States. When we meet it was only to be friends, I was in town for business. After just 30 minutes I felt something I never felt before (history: had a boyfriend for 6 yrs once and another for almost 9yrs). After 2 hours both of us said wow we get along so great. After 4 hours we left the restaurant holding hands. We continued to talk daily for 3 months and saw each other a couple more times.I did not feel that he cared for me the same way I cared for him. I stopped trying to be more than friends. Now we talk about once a month cause I would love for us to be friends (he is the best man I ever met).Last Sunday he told me he has a gf, after just a couple of months she moved in cause she needed a place to live. told me it was sooner than he wanted. I asked 3 times "Do you like her" his answers: she is very nice, she has been hurt before, she really likes me. He asked "are you mad you sound mad?" told him "I am happy for you, sad for me, but extremely happy for you. I think you are a wonderful man and only want the best for you. I know you were not interested in me and I only wish the best for you." That was all true, I was happy, he did not like me and I would love for him to fall in love. We talked more about day to day things. Then the twist he told me he did like me, he stopped calling/seeing me cause he was falling for me, did not want to get hurt. He just thought that I would never move for him. He was lonely and wanted a gf. When I told him I would have moved for him, he was very upset raised his voice saying "shit, you never told me that. what the fuck, you never told me" over and over. Then he said this in a low soft voice about his gf "I do not want to her hurt."I need him in my life and he said he still wants me in his life.My question: Do I standby his side as a friend? or Do I go to him and tell him how much I need him?
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female
reader, Zonee +, writes (18 December 2010):
Zonee is verified as being by the original poster of the question @male reader, anonymous, (17 December 2010):
This guy was never my boyfriend we are just friends. He never said he loved me, he just said that he could see dating someone like if I lived closer.
If you mean sex by "extra" that would hard since we only talk on the phone since I live in a different State. He is more like a really good friend, I only have seen 3 times but talked to lots, I started to falling for him. I never told him how I felt cause I did not want to be first.
@female reader, anonymous, (16 December 2010):
Really do not think it would be being a HOME-WRECKER they have only been dating 3 months. (she moved in cause she needed a place to live she just got a divorce) He has a beautiful 5 bedroom/3 bath home. I already told him I would not do anything like that "cheating" that is wrong. Both him or I would not do that to anyone. Do not get me wrong I enjoy sex (would very much like to have sex with him, if we were dating), with him, we talk so well together we lose track of time.
This is more like finding out my very good friend liked me the same way I liked him. Not as friends but boy/girlfriends I wished I would have told him. Now I am wondering, are we doing it again? not telling each other how we feel? should I stay silent?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): Don't fall for his lame justification. You were there before her and he chose her over you. Now he want to use the weak line that he loves you but doesn't want to hurt her. Please don't let that fool play you. He wants you to be his extra on the side. Tell him to get lost.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): ~DON'T BE A HOMEWRECKER~
He put himself in that situation with the other girl by choice...and equally...it is to be his choice to either remain in the situation or to exit that situation.
Respect the other woman and respect him.
In the meantime, do not violate their relationship by speaking or behaving toward him in a manner that you, yourself, would not want another woman speaking or behaving toward him if he was your boyfriend.
Also, don't permit him to speak or behave toward you in a manner which would be disrespectful to his girlfriend which of course would be toward you as well. More so, should he engage in such deplorable manner with you, then I say forget him altogether, as this will be a red flag of his true character...CHEATER!...and then if you became involved with him after him having exhibited such deplorable behavior...and he knowing that you didn't even have enough respect for the other woman and yourself to firmly forbid it, then when he does the same thing to you as his current girlfriend, then how can you are "Babe, you did me wrong?"
If it's meant to be between you two it will be...and it will follow through respectfully. He will come to you honestly and respectfully.
God Bless.
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