A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,i'm just going to get straight to the point . ok so 4 years ago i was a victim of sexual assult and attempted rape,by my then boyfriend i was with at the time. I'm now with my loving boyfriend of 3 years ,jay. Are sexual side of things have been ok i guess (emotionally) but sometimes i have these phases where i try and not have sex, because i think its disgusting. like if theres something on tv where people are starting to ge close in that way , i turn up my face with disgust . And i dont know why ?see this only happens in phases sometimes im fine and dont mind having sex but right now and other times i cant stand it.Iam attracted to jay and love him to bits but sometimes i just cant,even if he touches me down there i pull his hand away.anyone else think im weird or normal ? ive never had conselling or anything but i dont think i need to and even if i did i wouldnt talk about it.help , please Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (30 October 2010):
 This behavior and partial abhorrence to sex is to be expected after what happened to you. But I do suggest counseling. A professional has a higher chance of helping you accept and move on from what happened to you so long ago. Does your boyfriend know? Perhaps if he did, he could help you and support you in this, perhaps he will touch you in different ways. Ways that do not remind of you in any way of what happened to you but, you have to talk to someone about this.
I hope that helps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2010): hey sweetheart...im real sorry to hear about your past experiences. No woman should ever have to go thru such a thing and the penalty i dish out for such an act committed against a woman like you is well, bigger than my arms.
This is very normal for such an experience and dont blame you for being a little guarded at times. It is def important you trust your boyfriend and what he will do with your body and to resolve such an issue I would highly recommend counseling as they know how to dig in deep and help you get over that obstacle of intimacy. I have great websites to refer u to and also my counselor who specialized in relationship counseling. Im here any time :)
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