A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i'm confused, there is a guy who is older than i am and he told me that he is interested in me. i wasn't sure at first but now have fallen in love with him. i recently told him that it would be nice if we could talk more often and spend more time together, and he told me before that he might be able to do on his day off but he had some things to do. sometimes when i try to call there is no answer, i mentioned it and he said it was because he's welding and can't hear the phone. we chatted for a few days last week. at one point i ran into him at a local store and he came by and said 'just hi?' but i didn't say anything. i feel bad, i wasn't trying to be conceited or stuck up and i want to apologize to him. i know that i think he is widowed and has a kid, so i'm wondering if he has some issues about that. not sure though. i tried talking to him and he said that he was busy. should i just give him some space and let him do the chasing or tell him how i feel about him? is he losing interest? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2011): You definitely should give him some space. I've found, more often than not, when I am a pursuer in a relationship I don't like what I get.
You are not allowing him to take the role as the "man" in the relationship, and if he is older than you, he's part of a generation that still values that role.
Additionally, if he's not out there pursuing you, trying to close the deal... he's probably not that into you... or possibly just not ready to date.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni'm not sure if it makes a difference or not, but i'll add a little bit of info. we did spend some time together and he is very supportive and encourages me to go outside for a walk. before he was really supportive and there for me when i was going through a crisis. we have been intimate before, so i don't know if that makes a difference. he says to call him if i'm bored and he asks where i am and i tell him at home. he usually is interested in doing something with me if i am bored. do you think he is playing hard to get or is he ignoring me or trying to avoid me or is he maybe seeing somebody else??
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