A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I broke up with this girl about 12 months ago. It wasnt a bad break up by any means. We did keep in touch for a while but she asked me to stop contacting her as it was confusing her emotionally. I respect her for honestly and strength and didn't continue to contact her.At the time of the break up I did feel a lot of emotion but I felt I expressed it well and gave myself time to mourn the relationship. At the time I had also lost my job so I was very busy finding a new one and a new place to live etc. Recently I have been, rather out of the blue, thinking about her a lot. I know when we broke up I was doing the right thing so Im dont know if Im looking back with rose coloured glasses or if, not that the pressure of unemployment etc has passed that Im now recognising what we had.Its almost a struggle for me not to get in touch with her. On the other hand I dont want to hurt her in any way or open up an old wound.Bit confused by it all, what do you think?
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male
reader, Kilcardy  +, writes (10 May 2011):
It's called a "breakup" because it's broke. Leave the girl alone. She has asked you not to contact her. So, don't contact her. If she wanted to see you, you'd know. Stop living in the past. It's time to move on. Once you commit to that, your confusion will abate.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2011): It's hard to judge, without a bit more info, although if you were not ready to give it everything you had at the time - are you now? You would need a reason to connect again and also to prove to her that you were the one - if you are prepared to do this then go ahead. But perhaps sus out first what she wants - she might not want to get back together or see you as a friend if she has moved on, perhaps a clean break is easiest for her - if this is the case then take what you have learned and be happy and ready for your new and fresh live and future love!
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