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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm a 17 year old who has never had a boyfriend and only attracts guy I don't find neccessarily attractive or who are jerks. Theres this one guy who I'm not entirely sure I like. I know he likes me but I'm not physically attracted to him so I don't think I can go on with to a relationship with him.The thing is he's so so sweet and always makes me laugh and I'm really attracted to his personality. I know I shouldn't not go out with him just because of the looks but I can't help it.Our personalities and looks are complete opposites. He's of quite larefe build and I'm very petite. He's really loud and I'm very quiet.Should I give it a go with him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2006): Get ready for a roller coaster of a ride as at 17 the fun is about to start. Life is about dating as many people as you can from all walks of life. If he makes you laugh then go for it. If things don't work out, at least you can look back and compare what it is you didn't actually like and notch up a very valid experience. But there's obviously something that's prompted you to make the effort. You may not have dated anyone, but seems you're not lacking from the interest men show you. Give him a chance, he may not be the one, but at least you'll both have a lovely time for the time it lasts and that's all we can ask for. Good luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2005): No girl. If you're not physically attracted to him, leave it alone. Most of the other points are there, but sex is a very important area in a relationship. If you don't desire to make love to him, he's just not the guy for you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2005): Dear, I don't think you are being superficial. You are being realistic. He sounds like a guy you could be friends with but not lovers. The reality of the human way is that physical attraction is very important in a relationship. Looks DO matter in the dating game. It maybe be unfair, we may hate it, but it is true. The key thing though is that you must never underplay the reality that looks are important when dating. You should try to understand what kind of looks you really are attracted to and what kind of people you appeal to. People will often say that one should not care about what is outside but what is inside that matters. Its true. That is the way the world should be. But in truth..it isn't that way. When you are not physically attracted, then the lack of physical attraction to this guy will become an issue, even if you won't admit it. There is someone out there, who will be physically attracted to this guy and in all fairness to him, allow him to go and find her. I suggest you don't date him. And don't feel badly, you may feel this way. To wnat to date someone, you have to feel that "spark"..if you don't feel it with this guy, be honest with him and do it soon. He may not feel great about it at first, but he'll appreciate your honesty. Good Luck and Take Care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2005): Oh my goodness... Please do not listen to that other reply. Look hun I am a 31 year old woman. I have been married to my husband for 10 years. We have three children together and he is good to me. With all that I am not happy. I am not physically attracted to my husband and never have been. I married him because he is sweet and kind. Now I am living with that and desperatly unhappy. Physical attraction is an absolute must in a relationship. If it isn't there, then believe me it never will be. You are young and you have all the time in the world. There will be someone in you life that not only will you love to be with but also that is attractive to you. Just give it time. As for your current guy, it sounds like you have the perfect potential for a fabulous friendship. Tell him that is all you want and if he really is all that great he will accept that. Please do not settle. I did and now I am paying the price. Good luck
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male
reader, Calidus +, writes (8 November 2005):
Heres some advice... dont be so superfecial, who cares what a person looks like on the outside, wouldnt you rather someone whos nice and sweet over a good lookin guy who treats u badly?
I think you need to get over your own ego, and relise that no one is perfect, if you ever want a real relationship your going to have to learn not to be so superficial, and yes i know your only 17 but hey im 18 and i dont care what ppl look like.
I say if you want to try and have a happy relationship, stop worrying about other people may think, and swollow your own pride that you may have about going out with someone who you may think isnt attractive, and instead date him, if you dont think you can do that, then date the jerks who just want sex and couldnt care less for you.
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