A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, there's this girl. Smart, funny, beautiful, etc etc. And I'm crazy about her. I've asked her out once, but she said no because she was already dating someone, and I didnt know. A few weeks later, she split up with him, and I began to work up the courage to ask her a second time. And then things got difficult...She started going out with one of my mates. And they are havin a great time together. So if they do split up, and I ask her, things could go in all the wrong directions. She could say no, and that would hurt me. She could say yes, and that would hurt my friend, coz he might think she "dumped" him to go out with me. Or, she could get really offended coz it would seem like I waited then jumped in the moment she was available, and I would lose her friendship. And if I wait a bit, she could start dating someone else before I can ask her again. So, I'm stuck. I cant ask her now, I cant ask her in the near future, I dont know if there will be a chance in the future at all, and she might just say no anyway and that would really hurt.Any ideas would be greatly appreciated: thanks.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): Love is a risk. You just need to ask yourself if it is worth it. Ask yourself if you are wanting to date her for the correct reasons, and those reasons may be different for each of us, but if you are getting with her to sleep with her or experience her in intimate ways, then that may not be right. I suggest after you ask yourself if this is just a feeling that you can get over or a feeling that will be stuck with you for a long time. How you do this, is to begin looking for other girls, not with her in mind. Yet if she continues to stick in your mind, then just wait and see what happens. Life is pretty short and if living with the regret of "never knowing what would have happened" is going to live with you forever, then I suggest you just do it. If it does not work out, it is not the end of the world. You always have the option of feeling crushed or feeling relieved. If you do this and it goes wrong, just feel relieved knowing, and move on.
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