A
male
age
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*ees
writes:Hello! I'm 55 and she's 35 with 3 kids, we love each other and have been in this relationship for 14 months but she wants marriage and I don't. She'd become very upset when ever she asks me about getting married which she has done several times and I keep telling her that I think it's to soon and there are somethings we have to work on first like her sometimes treating me like a second class citizen when she gives these two lady friends of hers priority over me. Sometimes abruptively she will not talk to me and it's just her mutism I have to deal with. I love her and the kids and we help eachother a lot but I don't feel we're ready for marriage yet. pEASE HELP!!! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, LittleAlfie +, writes (15 August 2010):
 Well I'm sure at her stage in life, she's accustomed to a certain relationship with her friends, which should be understood and respected. When she goes on her silent treatments, use that opportunity to openly communicate with her. Take her hands and look at her and in a soft voice, express your concerns about time and other things on your mind. If you truly love each other, it should be a fair conversation. If he doesn't open up right away, that's fine. Your patience in awaiting her responses may reveal the importance of patience in waiting. Try that time and time again. Then again, if either of you are in it just for help or basic mutual companionship, perhaps you should consider backing the relationship up to friendship again.
A
female
reader, Mature Lady  +, writes (15 August 2010):
Unless you are both in aggreement to marry I would not be forced into it,I would live together for a while yet to see how things work out,especially when your girlfriend is not treating you all that well at the moment,be careful that she is not seeing you as financial security for her and her children.
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