A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:well am deeply love with a girl and its mutual ,who has a two year old child.she'll living with the father of the child as she says he is black milling her which her sister confirmed to me!she says he will take the child if ever she leaves him and she doesn't want to take the case to court because of financial problem.She asked me to wait till the child is old enough to decide with whom the latter wants to live with.One year went by with this situation, she told me she has to sleep with him in order not to raise any doubt,she told me that while crying.Should i continue dating her while waiting for the five years even if we can barely meet as she fears someone might see her,i can only contact her at her work place and i cannot go there every week ,i fear with the frequency that we meet i.e every two weeks, i might slowly forget her or should i make a five year pause or simply break up?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): look , i am also intelligent (i think), also have a degree and post graduate as well. but i know that having an affar is wrong, no matter how much i want to justify it.
You need to make some hard decisions, either carry on your affair and pay the consequences or be a man and decide to leave another mans wife alone.
you are not doing anyone any favours by being a so called martyr and still being wih this woman.
no amount of 'education" can justify cheating.
something to think about???
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno,she isn't married! she was a teenager when she got pregnent! and her parents support her future husband,who is violent and they know that but can't do anything and they think that she deserves it!so to introduce me in this situation is not appropriate according to her but she is really sad and alone in this !and he doesnt know about us else again will take the child away!am good looking, inteligent-degree holder and can change partner as often as i want but i love her! thanks cerberus raphael and u also anonymous aunty ,did help me!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): Let's look at this affair without the emotional drama.She is still married to her hb.and you have been having an affair with a married woman.The SA law is not outdated.there are legal means to get out of her marriage if she wants to. Welfare and safe houses?Is her hb abusive or only threatening her because of her affair with you?Running around with a married woman is despicable and you need to look at your situation critically.If she can cheat on her hb what stops her from doing the same to you. Why waste your precious life,waiting for someone else wife?If she really really really wants out of her marriage there are many alternatives. She needs to look at her options. YOU know for a fact that in SA the law is very accommodating to women in so called difficult marriages. WE have the best constitution. Perhaps the people handling her case will not view her in favourable light because of her affair? Whatever you decide , decide whether all this drama is worth it. Wouldn't you be much better find a single woman?What is wrong with your house? You are working. Surely you can afford to feed 2 more mouths? She is working too so 2 incomes will get you through.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (7 December 2010):
 If you love her and if she loves you, then yes it may be powerful enough to keep her strong. Be patient. If you two can make it through this, you both can be happy. You can at least be her friend when you get to see her and try to be there for her if/when she needs someone to talk to.
I hope that helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioncourt-no way
running away -no way at least for her!
and my house is 0.05 conpleted!
i just wanted to know if love is powerful enough to withstand rare meeting,twice a month and even once and nearly without physical contact -its at her workplace or will time (5 yr) make us forget each other?
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael +, writes (7 December 2010):
You can save up money somehow and then take this to court, or you can turn to the police. She is the mother of this child and they will surely side with her. She cannot allow herself to be blackmailed like this. She can take her child and run away if that is an option, until she can take this to court. She cannot let herself or her child be manipulated like this so cruelly. Good luck. I shall pray that God watches over her and her child.
I hope that helps.
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