A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Girls and emotions, very hard to understand sometimes! Well my gf seems to get really emotional for no reason. I know when it happening because she seems to go really quiet and as if shes thinking about something, when i ask whats wrong she says she doesn't know shes just not very happy. We have talked about this and she really can't find a reason for this. There are no problems with us, we're really happy together, shes not seeing anyone else, as far as i know i haven't done anything to hurt her. She has been abt stressed recently as shes a teacher and its coming towards the end of the summer holidays she told me that shes just so confused because this happens unexpectedly and it really gets her down and although she knows she can talk to me she juts doesn't know what to say because she doesn't know herself. She says she feels like crying alot of the time when it happens but daren't because there isn't a particular reason and she doens't know what to say because when people ask you whats wrong they get annoyed if you keep saying nothing or don't know. What can i do? I want to help her but not sure how! I can't exactually take over her emotions and stop her feeling like this can i? I love her with all my heart but i don't want her to continue like this. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bemused  +, writes (27 August 2007):
 Hi hun
You mention that she is a teacher and judging by the age you mention she is probably a new teacher. I am a teacher and this time of the year can be stressful as she has to face new students and different sets of demands and expectations. Most school boards have employee assistance programs and they are there because teaching is stressful. I agree with Evangeline that she may be prone to mild depression and may also be a senstive person. Please encourage her to talk to someone in employee assistance. She obviously has a supportive partner in you and that is a positive for her. Hope this helps.
A
female
reader, Evangeline +, writes (27 August 2007):
 Hi,
It sounds like shes the sort of person who is prone to mild depression. I am, and what your girlfriend has sounds exactly like what i experience. Its very common, and often runs in families.
Its basically just a feeling of 'not being happy' for no apparent reason; its often seasonal; for example i always get really down at the beginning of the year; regardless of how good or bad my life is actually going at that time, im always unhappy around then.
The best thing to do; would be to suggest she goes and sees her gp about the ways shes feeling. You must not march up to her and say 'i think you have mild depression', because she may not have, and theres no need to make it worse. I would just subtly suggest that she (or the both of you - whichever shes more comfortable with) go and see her gp.
In my case, im not on any medication, or in any regualar councilling programs; my mild depression just means that if i need help or someone proffessional to talk to, i get it a little bit quicker than people who havent been diagnosed with it. So its really not a big deal and nothing for either of you to really worry about.
Most importantly though, you must not try and be a councillor to her, you're her boyfriend, and by all means talk to her about each others problems and share like you have always done - you sound like a fantastic, caring boyfriend; but it is important that if she need help, she gets it from someone outside of her life, otherwise it can put great stress on both of you in the relationship, which is what neither of you need or want. hope this helps.
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