A
female
age
51-59,
*rokendreams
writes:I have just had the best seven months of my life with a woman. I finished with her becos her ex was constantly on the phone. The next day we got back together. Now out of the blue, she wants to slow down. I am absolutely gutted. It hurts so much. She says it's not over but she needs time to sort her head out. We were together 24-7. How can I win her back?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2007): Why would you want to win her back?
This is her decision, and only she can make it. The only thing you can do is get on with your life and give her the space she wants. Start disentangling your emotions from her and learn to love who you are again.
Believe me, I'm a straight male who would love nothing better than to meet a woman I could love, who could love me, who would also love to spend every waking and sleeping moment with me, in sickness and in health, through the silence and the noise, for the rest of my boring life.
But I've already figured out that single most important truth about love's raw deals. "One person can't love enough for two."
A
female
reader, brokendreams +, writes (4 May 2007):
brokendreams is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank u v.much,4 your replies,she contacts me by phone every day,and texts me2.Iwill try to focus on sum other stuff. thanks again.x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2007): To tell you the truth i dont think youve lost her, she just needs some space, everyone needs space somtimes, when your around someone 24/7 (i learned the hard way) the time you spend togeather seems to feel less meaningful after a while. All you can do is give her the space she wants. Unless she says its over, then its not over. I know it may seem difficult but one day you might want your space too, so try and understand where she is coming from.
Best wishes **
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A
female
reader, drbroz  +, writes (3 May 2007):
 Brokendreams,
Hey, now now, she said she wants to slow down. Just do that. Give her what she wants. Slow down. You feel gutted. Get your life back on track, take care of yourself. You know that being with somebody 24/7 isn't very healthy anyway. Maybe she's right slowing down is a good idea, tell her that.
You don't want to hear this but I'm going to say it. She may take her ex back for awhile. I don't think it will last. Stick it out. Be there when it tanks. It didn't work out last time, it won't this time, either. She needs to get her off of her mind for good.
Now, chin up! Do something today that you like to do, visit a bookstore, a pet shop, a park, museum, friend, your mom, whatever you would tell yourself to do. Be your own best friend.
DrBroz
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