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Sex is far and few

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Question - (7 July 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 July 2009)
A female United States age 51-59, *wlmyn writes:

I have been married for 17yrs...We love ea.other,sex is great (when we have it).I just turned 40 and my husband is 46yrs old.

My question: I am very sexual and I try to get my husband in the mood,ask for a quicky or give him something in return. My husband works 3rd shift and when i ask for fool around he says No,not in the mood,to tired.etc..Excuses after excuses..

Why then do I find my husband in the bathroom no more then 10min after I just asked for sexual pleasure he is masturbating...I feel hurt,lied to,why does he do this.

I let him know I'm always willing and avble.But he denies it and gets very upset with me for asking.

Plz help

Awlmyn

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A male reader, dddddddd Australia +, writes (9 July 2009):

It isn't okay but maybe he feels in the mood but doesn't feel like having sex. It isn't a very nice way to treat you. You should ask him WHY again and if he gets upset explain that it is probably no where near as upset as you're feeling. At the very least you have a right to know why he is treating you like this. These sorts of problems don't tend to resolve themselves.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009):

Hi.......i think the only thing you can do is sit down with your husband and tell him how you feel. Just say your not having the amount of sex that you used to and your just wondering why..

Has your apperance changed a lot in the last few years?. i think after many years together things can become stale and it is up to both partners to keep it lively and also take care of themselves to some degree - after all you probably both took care of yourselves better in your courting days?

Get a new hairstyle, but some new clothes or even lose a bit of weight if that is an issue? Then the staleness will have been brushed off and it just might encourage him a bit too!

Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009):

What an extremely selfish thing to do! Have you asked him what he expects you to do with your sexual desires? Or does he just not care?

He probably masterbates because it is easier, less work and if you have been arguing about sex, it will only get worse. If he feels pressured, it takes the fun out of it for him (guys are suppossed to be doing the chasing). Well enough for him, but leaves you in a terrible way. Ignoring this won't help, it will only make things worse and perhaps even lead to further damage and eventually divorce. Obviously you are too young to give up on sex.

I think you two should see a couselor.

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