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female
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anonymous
writes: I am a 20 year old female and I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year. We have a incredible relationship and are very much in love but for the last 6 or so months ago he doesn't want to have sex with me. It's usually about once a week if that. When we first started the relationship it was many times a day. He does work hard and is tired but I am a sex fiend and I want to have sex at least once a day. I have tried things for him to want to have sex but nothing works. He even knocks back blow jobs!Could someone please give me some/any advice???
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2005): Perhaps you are trying too hard and taking this way too personally. But a lot of things could be happening here not all connected to him losing desire for 'you'. His variable libido seems to be perfectly normal. Lord knows there are a million things going on in the world that can distract from sex, and as wonderful as sex is-both as a physical act and an emotional,intimate act-it can, be suppressed at times. Your relationship started out passionate and very physical by the sounds of it. Gosh, all new relationships are like that! Things could have just settled into that comfortable 'nice, relaxed' mode/routine between the both of you. Remember also, outside stresses (school, work, etc) and illness can have a big influence on a sex life. Or if you like sex more than him...could you be pressuring him to perform daily? If so, this could be bothering him-you might find that once he's free of the pressure to have sex 'right now' his libido will spring back. Be patient, stay confident and please, remember-men are human-they have times where their libidos do give them problems. Be aware of that but the best thing you can do is just communicate your love and support for him. Try to remember a measure of a man's love for us, is not how many times a day he desires sex but rather how he cares through unselfish actions and relating his innermost thoughts & feelings. Take care and be happy, dear
Hugs, Irish
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