A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. Sorry for this being so long and for it lacking in detail but i'm a little confused about this guy that i really like and need a bit of advice. He asked me out a few months ago but we broke up after two weeks because he felt that we were moving too fast (emotionally i mean). We decided to stay friends which was great until he confessed that he still had feelings for me. We sat down and spoke about how we both felt and both agreed that we should see each other but not officially be in a relationship. He told me about a month ago that he loved me and when i asked him about it the next day, he admitted that he had meant it. I wrongly assumed that this meant that we were back together. The thing that is bothering me is that two weeks ago he randomly started a conversation about why he wants us to be friends and not be together. He started saying that he doesn't want to involve me in his family problems and that he's doing this for my own good. I've met his family and they're lovely and i see them every weekend anyway when i go to see him. Anyway no matter how much i said that i'm willing to make the sacrifices, he kept repeating his reason. Is he really trying to protect me or is he just avoiding telling me that he doesn't want us to get back together?
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female
reader, Bella555 +, writes (25 November 2010):
I believe it's the latter, that he doesn't want to get back together, and he's using external forces/problems as a means of not being direct with you. When relationships proceed at a fast pace, it's ridiculously hard to resurrect them after they crash and burn. I don't doubt that he has feelings for you, so maybe you could make your visits less regular and stir up a bit of mystery and the element of chance, and he'll act more favorably on those feelings. Don't always be available to him. The advice seems contrary to the advancement of a relationship, but it seems to work better than pushing it (not that you are, necessarily).
I hope you two are able to work it out.
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