A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend keep having awkward silences .. and once we get to that point, it seems we cant ever bring the conversation back .. we will spend ages just saying "sooo..." and "ermmm..." and "hmmm..." and things liek that .. why?! we've been together over a year and i dont see why we cant think of things to say, because we used to talk loads!! help !! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): do you spend much time apart? being in a relationship feels amazing but i hope your both setting time aside for your other friends, that way you will always have a topic to talk about- how woz your night out with the girls/guys? even if its just one night a week or something along those lines u can both chat away about the funny things you got up2. it might even make you appreciate the time you have together even more, but sometimes it is just nice to cuddle up, watch a film and say nothing at all. Actions speak louder than words!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): use open ended questions like sales people, What, why, when, how, where, start each question like that and it opens the question so your partner will have to open up. ie: did you have breakfast, no/yes, change that to what did you have for breakfast,which opens up to no/yes/bacon and egg/porridge.so it opens up the conversation. change did you have sex last night, to what was sex like last night? see the difference?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): Actually, after a year of dating, I am surprised that you find the silences even awkward? Usually, at this stage of the game, a couple doesn't care, as long as they are--spending time together! And if you both are together, then really hun, it doesn't mean you have to fill every minute, with fun, insightful conversation. You should feel comfortable not saying anything to each other, at times. It sounds like you are being too hard on yourself, or your expectations are too high, here. How does he feel about this? If you both find it awkward, then maybe that's a sign you both don't have the committment and understanding of a long term 'relationship' to make this one last. However, there are a lot of sites on the web, you can preview which speaks of conversation tips, but really, I just find it startling that you feel this way, after dating him a whole year! Why don't you both sit and discuss where you see this relationship going..if this bothers you. I think you should start there. Good luck!
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