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female
,
anonymous
writes: I haven't spoken to my son's father in 3 yrs. We just started talking and getting along real well. He's engaged to another woman. He's now telling me that he's falling in love with me, and that he's going to stay with her till he figures out what he wants, and he just needs some time. We had broken up because he cheated on me with many other women (unprotected). I was wondering if I should believe what he's telling me, because he's willing to cheat with me. He says it's different with me, I'm his son's mother. I still do love him. Do you think he'll leave her to be with me?
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (19 March 2006):
 You're trying to make this guy something he's not. That would be an honest good person. Run inthe opposite direction ! What kind of father is he? Does he pay support payments to you? If you had a daughter and she was in your situation, what would you advise her to do? I like that analogy because people are generally protective of their kids and tend to draw the line much closer or they see things much clearer.
To be blunt, the guys sounds like a jerk.
A
female
reader, MarthaZ +, writes (19 March 2006):
 The problem is there's a running theme with him: cheating. You mentioned he cheated on you several times, and he's cheating on his fiancee who I presume he loves.
It's extremely difficult to forget those incidences so are you willing to forgive him for his ways in the past? Are you really sure he won't do it again? If he loves his fiancee but cheats with you, I really don't think you can trust him to be faithful.
You have a child to worry about, even though the man you are considering is the child's father. But don't fall into that trap, don't go into a relationship where you expect to go wrong. It'll be emotionally draining and tiring.
I think you know he's not to be trusted as well, so go with your instinct.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2006): Perhaps he will leave his fiancee to be with you. But by the same turn, he's extremely likely to leave you for someone else again. Also consider, in those cases where he was cheating on you before he wasn't only toying with your emotions but also your life! He was a thoughtless asshole back then, and NOW he's treating his fiancee the same way he used to treat you! The man clearly doesn't care much about other people, and nothing about this situation bodes well in my mind. Tell him to get his act together and leave you alone.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2006): I wouldnt trust this man. If he loves you as he says why did he leave in the first place? And why does he need time to figure out what he wants? If its you he loves then he wouldnt hesitate to be with you. Also if he has cheated on you before then there is the chance he will do it again.
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