A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I hope someone can help me out here. I was friends with the secretarial staff at the company where I work.We would meet for coffee once a week and it was great. I had recently broken up with my boyfriend of eight years and it was great to have them. I guess the bottom line is that they dumped me. Of the four of them there are two who I know still appreciate and like me but it seems as if they are afraid to be pleasant to me because of peer pressure from the other two. We are not teenagers here. Apparently there big complaint is that they would ask me for coffee sometimes and I would be a bit late. I am a manager and things come up...that is it apparently and now I am taking less than professional behaviour from a couple of them. I do not want to aak them what I did wrong as this would empower them and honor their childishness and give them fuel for gossip but it is so demoralizing and hurtful. I do not even want to go into the main office where they work now. I guess the days that my self esteem is good I am ok with it and on days like today I feel like I cannot handle it. Just wondering if anyone has been in this situation before and if anyone has tips on how to handle this painful situation.
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male
reader, Uncle_Phil  +, writes (5 October 2007):
 Totally agree with Baby Duck.
Sounds like infantile behaviour to me!
Phil
A
female
reader, baby duck  + ♥, writes (5 October 2007):
 Actually, asking them what is wrong is the adult thing to do. Grab the bull by the horns. If they're off in la la land, they'll apologize and say they did not realize that you felt that way. If they have a bone to pick with you and you approach them straight on, it will be a chance to clear the air. If they are playing childish games, then you will have effectively called them on it and you can walk away with your head held high. Unfortunately, I know more about the silent treatment than I wish, and I have learned: do not walk on eggshells. You walk right in that main office like you own the place, low self-esteem be damned. Good luck!
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