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anonymous
writes:I fancy my uni lecturer and he fancies me. But we are both married....He gave me a lift home and we kissed, but this is serious, we have really connected. I don't want to give up my course or my husband but we have really connected....oh GOD!Haven't slept together and have no intentions of doing that until we both make a decision, but how do I make that decision as I still love my husband? I am in love with two guys at once. And I mean IN LOVE. I am frightened and have no idea what to do. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have dumped the lecturer bacause my husband and I are going to try again. Thankyou for your advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2006): I know this is very selfish as to what I am about to suggest, and personally I wouldn't do it, but you will have to choose the one you want the most. If that means hurting someone or some people, then so be it. Ultimately, it's about you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI might not have been as through in my reply as I should have done. Over the months this has been more than a kiss. This has been a real connection and meeting of minds. The physical attraction is a bonus (or not, as the case may be).
That kiss came after months of prevaricating on both our parts and I am devasted at how I feel and who I might hurt along the way....FOR EITHER CHOICE I MAKE!
This is not just a *snog* or a flash in the pan, and it is scary!
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (13 February 2006):
 You're losing control here. You're married !! That is first. Are you going to kiss every man you are ever attracted to? It never ends. You really knew what was going on when you accepted the ride home. That was the big mistake. How can you say you love your husband and treat him this way? As for the other guy, all you know about him is what you see at school. Why do you want to ruin your marriage. Work on that. Kiss your husband, not another man. I just can't believe all the people that allow themselves to fall into that trap and play this hurtful game. It's shameful.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2006): It is definitely possible to love more than one person intimately, but common society detest that because they believe it will break up and/or ruin the fabric of society itself - the whole traditional imagery of family. Now that is from a neutral perspective I say from. Personally, though I recognize this everlasting and unfortunate trend, I also do not condone to polygamy, though it is understandable. In all possible realities, I would first say something that others may never even dare to speak - do any of your partners, including the lecturer mind sharing you? If the three of you don't mind that sort of lifestyle, then I say go for it. However, if either one minds, then you have to make a decision - your husband or your lecturer. Now since you speak that you are in love with both, you have to weigh in other factors. Factors such as experiences together, short term and long term possibilities, families, unions, growing old together, children together, sex, etc. Think about all these things and see whether you want to choose one of the other, or maybe even choose a third. Your possibilities are limitless. Your heart and your libido already knows what you want. You just have to make the conscious choice to choose one.
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