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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi, Recently I have become rude and aggressive towards my boyfriend. For the first time today, I actually reduced him to tears. I'm not proud of the way I've been but how do I help him understand that it's because I am scared that he's going to become violent, just like the others. Please Help!!!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2005): Get some counselling. You have been wounded badly due to prior abusive relationships and now have tons of excess baggage left behind from previous relationships. I am assuming this b/f does not abuse you? So lashing out at him is hardly fair to him, is it? As much as he is trying to understand...one day he will just get fed up and walk away. Do something NOW to help yourself, Not only will it heal you it will heal this relationship before more damage is done. I wish you well...and take care of yourself.
A
reader, jrs +, writes (27 July 2005):
I have the same situation. I have been physically hurt and emotionaly hurt and i refuse to let it happen again. My way of dealing with it (with my new bf of 2 yrs) is to realise that you cannot change someone, just go with the flow and trust this guy will not hurt you. Keep up a little bit of a gaurd for awhile and say, "If it happens, it happens, there is nothing i can do but to move on." You know that if he cares he will understand and you can eventually let your gaurd down. If he screws up, there is a reason for everything. Just know you will be ok. Good Luck!
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