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female
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*eonie
writes: erm hi, ive posted before but anonymously.This is kinda confusing so ill try explain it as simply as I can.I have this friend and i think i lke him as more than just a friend.Thing is we both have really low self confidenses.Anyway he went through a bad patch the other week and i really helped him get through it and had like a really meaningful chat with him, and i keep getting this overwhelming feeling to just help him with his problems. And last night he showed me this picture of him and some of his friends and he said something about how he looked so i told him i couldnt understand why he had a problem with how he looked cos hes really good looking and he just said i dont like talking about how i look so change the subject please so i did but i feel really upset that he thinks hes ugly and i thaught he would take the hint that i liked him when i practically told him how stunning i thaught he looked :).What does it all mean? Someone please help before i explode!!!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2006): What do you mean what does all this mean? It's pretty straight forward don't you think?
Anyway, confidence, like most other traits in people, are built over time and experience and of course, acceptance of failure and true success from failure. All you can do about confidence is allow each other to create yourselves over time and continue to build on that with the aid of each other - that is, if you two do hook up.
Now with going after him, he might be dense or he might be too self-involved with his own low self-esteem. Since you are the one to come here or anywhere for that matter, and express your desire to go after him, then you can be the one to initiate everything. Why not? Don't use your low-confidence as the excuse. [wink]
It's time to ask him out - you don't have to make it known that it's a date or as friends. Just ask, "Hey, free this weekend? Let's...." If he says no, then it's not really a rejection unless he knows you are after him. Keep trying - be persistent. Only thing you have to lose is a bit of an embarrassment, and possibly some time and energy. Might feel heart broken, but come now, if you put yourself into perspective, your entire life will have ups and downs. Take this as one experience.
However, if he accepts you, then great. Continue on and maybe something good will come out of this. Sometimes guys can be very goal-oriented - single-minded to be more precise. Women [laughs], we probably need you more than we think. 8]
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