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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been going out with my boyfriend for two years. And this quote from a song sums up our relationship "For everytime they we shared laughing there were two times that I cried".I really love being with him when he is being good. Hes fantastic and I love him. Hes so funny and generous.But then he completely changes. He gets annoyed at me for the smallest things and shouts at me. Hes done this on and off for two years, and used to be much worse. which is perhaps a sign he is getting better? I could put up with his arguing forever, because I love him. But recently I found out that I have alopecia areata. My doctor told me that this is not directly caused by stress, but I do know that stress cant help, because it does cause hair loss. My boyfriend has promised me that he will not argue with me anymore, and he will try his hardest. He even promised me once that if he argued again for no reason I could break up with him.I dont want to, because I'd miss him so much. I'd miss all the good times we have. But on the other hand I dont know how long I can cope with being miserable every couple of days and worrying that this is adding to my alopecia. I've looked up sites telling us how to stop arguing and I've talked about it with him so many times. It seemed to be getting better but then yesterday for no reason he got angry at me, and called me a stupid cow and an idiot for not taking time out of a lesson to come and see him. It wasnt a proper lesson, I was practicing a dance which I have to perform in an exam in a few days, it is no where near finished so we have agreed that I can do as much work on it as possible in order to get it finished without him getting mad. But he didnt! He got mad! Again. I'm seeing him in a few minutes and I really don't know what to do, he thinks I'm in the wrong, but I just need to not be made stressed all the time, for the sake of our relationship, my hair and both our wellbeings!Thank you for any help/advice you give.xxx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2006): thank you for your answer, i have given him an ultimatum and things seeeem to be better.
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A
female
reader, soletshearit +, writes (9 May 2006):
 Listen your boyfriend needs to calm down or clear off...no wonder you are stressed with mood changes, he is playing games with you leaving you left wondering what you ahve done wrong and blaming yourself trying to figure out what you can do or what you can change so that you dont cause him to act that way next time....there will always be a next time unless changes and you will never change him...people can only change themselves. the more you try to tip toe around him to keep him happy the easier it is for him to do this, please stand your ground and if he stands out of line tell him where the door is...I promise he will be the sorry one! I hope you sort this out...keep me posted & good luck!
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A
female
reader, soletshearit +, writes (9 May 2006):
Listen your boyfriend needs to calm down or clear off...no wonder you are stressed with mood changes, he is playing games with you leaving you left wondering what you ahve done wrong and blaming yourself trying to figure out what you can do or what you can change so that you dont cause him to act that way next time....there will always be a next time unless changes and you will never change him...people can only change themselves. the more you try to tip toe around him to keep him happy the easier it is for him to do this, please stand your ground and if he stands out of line tell him where the door is...I promise he will be the sorry one! I hope you sort this out...keep me posted & good luck!
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A
female
reader, soletshearit +, writes (9 May 2006):
Listen your boyfriend needs to calm down or clear off...no wonder you are stressed with mood changes, he is playing games with you leaving you left wondering what you ahve done wrong and blaming yourself trying to figure out what you can do or what you can change so that you dont cause him to act that way next time....there will always be a next time unless changes and you will never change him...people can only change themselves. the more you try to tip toe around him to keep him happy the easier it is for him to do this, please stand your ground and if he stands out of line tell him where the door is...I promise he will be the sorry one! I hope you sort this out...keep me posted & good luck!
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