A
female
age
51-59,
*yesramazing
writes:My lover of six months has recently become emotionally abusive and on one occassion physically abusive. He suffers from Bipolar disorder and refuses to take medication. I'm in love with him, but should I just move on without him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007): If you really love him, then, there is nothing that you or someone else can do to make you "stop" loving him. Love is blind.
Do not let anyone though, bipolar or not, take advantage of your love. If he knows of his condition, he must take medication. Let him know that it's very bad karma to abuse other people emotionally, verbally or physically. Let him know you care and love him very much, but until he shows that he is willing to take his medications, you are not going to see him or tolerate his abusive behaviour anymore.
Advise family members of yours and his or friends of this condition. Monitor that he doesn't physically try to hurt you again. If he does, you have to protect yourself.
You are a loving woman that is why you find it hard to move on. You know, he can't control himself. However, even if you let him beat you to death, he is not going to get better. Understand? You cannot help someone who doesn't want to help themselves.
In order for him to feel motivated to "change", he has to feel the need. If you are always there for him, he doesn't have to change a bit. Don't let him play guilt trips either. You don't owe him anything. If anything, he owes you.
I can only recommend for you to move on, if you truely care for him and love him. It's for his and your own good. He has to realize, if he wants friends and lovers, he's got to respect their feelings as well and not just his own.
Make sure, if you want to continue to help him feel better that you don't become imbalanced too. Take care of yourself first, before you can help or love anyone.
Hope that helps.
Try this link:
~The Art of Living: Vipassana
http://www.dhamma.org/en/art.shtml
A
male
reader, leonard j, Douglas  +, writes (25 December 2007):
You are asking a question that you already know the answer to. But for what it's worth dump him, you have nothing going for you.
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