A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriends friends are really horrible to him and they use him.i hate seeing him unappreciated and it's driving me mad.i'm having loads of issues at home, it's a sensitive subject that i don't really want to talk about but my mum wants to leave my dad.my boyfriend always says i can talk to him, but when he's with his friends it's like i don't exist. i'm afraid i cannot time when i'm going to get upset! and so i'm sorry it's inconveniant for him. i just expected him to show he hadn't forgotten about me.please help. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni tell my boyfriend everything.. whenever he decides he wants to listen. but i don't want to tell him anything anymore because i just feel like he doesn't care.
my mum has been really unhappy & i can't help but blame myself for being part of the family. our family has always had ups & downs but i'd never think that my mum would have had enough & walk away.
i just really need support, i get it off my friends & they are very understanding, but the thing is, i need to rely on the person that seems to be closest to me. i can't!
i don't want to break up with him whilst all this is going on. but i don't know whether he actually is in it all with me.
thank you for your advice (: it's greatly appreciated xxx
A
female
reader, Myrrh +, writes (21 June 2010):
 Hello. Im very sorry to hear about your mum and dad having problems. That sucks and i think your boyfriend should be there to support you at the moment. Many couples hit rocky patches in relationships but they dont all end in a break up. So take heart and try to stay positive. If your parents can and want to talk AND listen to each other, they may find a way to sort things out. If one or other of your parents really isnt happy, you say its your mum, and theres absolutely nothing that can be done to change how she feels. Then sadly, leaving the relationship is the only thing to do. But i sincerely hope it doesnt come to that and they can work together on the things that need mending. Your boyfriend needs to understand you are having a tough time at the moment and put you first. You said you didnt want to talk about your parents, which is fine if you dont want to. But im wondering if you talk to your boyfriend about them much. If you dont, he may not fully understand how you feel. Or how important it is right now for him to give you some undivided attention. I expect hes busy with his social circle and running around for friends. And doesnt understand how much you need him. But its not good to bottle up your feelings about this until you explode at him and theres a bad confrontation. You dont need that at the moment. So the best thing to do is to pull him to one side. Tell him that what hes doing is damaging your relationship. Explain how things at home are affecting you. And tell him straight, dont pretend you are doing alright if you arent. Because he cant help if he doesnt understand. So educate him and give him the chance to step up to the plate. He needs to stop being ignorant and ignoring you when hes with his friends. He also needs to be showing you more support and attention at the moment. Ask that of him. I hope everything works out ok for you. All the best x
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