A
male
age
30-35,
*ord-of-purple
writes:My girlfriend and I dated for about 5 months, then got into a really bad involving my trust issues and we broke up because we both decided that's what'd be best.A couple weeks later we both realized we weren't even slightly over each other because we didn't WANT to be.I'm trying to change for her. I really am willing to learn to TALK to her about things instead of getting mad and blaming her. We love each other (I know the difference between love and infatuation/obsession) and even though she's somewhat afraid I'll hurt her again, she's giving me another chance.But here's a huge problem: I'll only get to see her once or twice, MAYBE three times a month (this isn't the problem) and her family HATES me for what I did. They forbade her from ever seeing me romantically again because they don't trust me. It's hurting her to go behind her parents backs and see me anyway because she's never gone against them, but she's 18 and in college and it's time she makes her own decisions anyway.I'm NOT a bad guy. I know it the situation makes it seem like I am, but I'm not at all. I've just been REALLY stupid and have had trust issues, but with her help I CAN get over them. I'm thinking about going to her parents and talking to them (that'll take awhile though, because that requires a lot of balls).Are we making the right decision in trying this again? She's not going to resent me for making her go against her parents' will, is she?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): She might grow to resent you, yes, so just tread lightly.
I suggest sitting down and writing down everything you want to tell to her parents and just going for it. The sooner, the better. That shows true honor and responsibility, rather than hiding until the last moment.
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