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Is my husband just not aware of his embarrassing behavior?

Tagged as: Pornography<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 January 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 March 2011)
A female United Kingdom age , anonymous writes:

I'm separated from my 57yr old husband as I found hundreds of porn images hidden on disc and on our computer last year, he'd promised me before that he would stop he always lies about this sort of thing.Although he no longer has access to our computer he still hones in on young attractive women (sometimes as young as 16 or 17yrs old )when we are out shopping or in a restaurant, even church, he usually lets out a low sexual lusty growl which is humiliating and very embarrassing for me, he always denies looking at them let alone the sexual noises, is he really unaware of his behaviour or just trying to cover up ?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011):

Growling? Are you serious? This is curious. What was your sexual relationship like before you were separated. Did the growling start when your relationship started to really go downhill and there wasn't much/any sex anymore? If so, is his pent up sexual energy the cause do you think? If this is the cause it's still odd that he can't control his vocals. I find it incredibly hard to believe he can't hear himself - you didn't mention any hearing disabilities on his part so I tend to believe he knows he's growling. As for the leering, I think when guys "look" alot of times they don't even realize it and sometimes are even thinking of when they should change the oil in the car while their eyes are grazing a woman's assets. When a guy "Leers" or "Ogles" that's different and I think they know exactly what they're doing so no, if I were you, don't buy the story that he doesn't know what you're talking about.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2011):

He's 57 and most likely set in his ways. If he's been doing those things for years, it's probably habitual -- like second nature to him. Maybe it will take him getting slapped with a harassment lawsuit before he wakes up and changes.

But why are those below making it seem like his ogling and growling are terrible just because he's old? Isn't that inappropriate behaviour for any age?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2011):

When will guys finally get that women don't like that sort of thing!! To be ogled by a dirty old man is hideous and I myself have been on the end of this sort of behaviour from a neighbour. Hardwired or not, you men need to control yourself and realise that women do not like this. An old neighbour used to stare at my breasts for years and I used to have to hold a paper or something in front of my chest whilst speaking to him. I then got a bf and the old man refused to speak to him. We now do not speak with him, despite the fact he has had a stroke and probably needs a friendly neighbour!! And the porn thing too; if more women stood their ground and told porn loving men to sling their hook, there would be an awful lot of single one handed surfers out there. You are lucky to be separated from this man!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011):

He's old, not dead.

Be that as it may, his behaviour in public is pathetic. It's time he grew out of that.

There is nothing wrong with finding post-pubescent teens attractive, we men are hardwired to do so.

But admiring the general... health... of a young lady is as far as it should go.

There's a fine line between appreciative ogling and creepy old man hijinks.

Flynn 24

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A female reader, FloridaCatGirl United States +, writes (27 January 2011):

FloridaCatGirl agony auntPersonally, I wouldn't have a problem with him looking at porn, unless he is looking at underage girls. However, I realize there are many women who do not want their husbands looking at porn.

As for his behavior in public... that's another story. He is being rude to you, and to the women he is growling at. I would never be with a guy who acted like that. It's immature and he seems to think the girls like it... which they don't!

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